Dancing sugar plums
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how many orcs did pippin kill?

156!! You see, Gimli and Legolas thought they had the top number while doing their little orc-killing contest. But Peregrin Took, yes, that little fool of a Took, he out numbered both of them! Go Pippin! Hobbits rule!! Ahem...
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What is a Ringwraith, Nazgul, whatever you want to call them?

"Nazgûl" (in the vulgar tongue), or "Ringwraith" (in the rustic tongue), or "Úlairi" (in the noble tongue), is a small white flowering plant that grows in the reigons in and around Minas Morgul. It has no virtue that is know of. But it gives off a sickening, charnel-smell which fills the air with an odour of rotteness, and some have found it handy for warding off annoying relations. Master Samwise Gamgee brought some home from his travels, and marketed it to many eager Hobbits, most notably those related to the Bracegirdles.

It is remembered in this bit of doggerel:

When the confounded relatives come,
And they act really dumb,
And they chatter like a deranged seagull,
Come Nazgûl! Come Nazgûl!
Stinky and dying,
Gets rid of the prying.

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Assuming that Sam was not the only one to bring something home to make a profit off of, what did Frodo, Merry and Pippin bring home?

[ January 01, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

Frodo brought back a giant spider, and rented it out as a bug killer

Pippin brought back the palantir, and then wrapped a towel around his head and said he was a fortune teller, charging $5 for each vision from the palantir

Merry brought back Treebeard and Quickbeam, and started a dating services for the local entwives
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Ok my question to you is...
Why were Saruman's nails so nicley manicured all the time?

[ January 01, 2003: Message edited by: Daewen ]

All the orcs down in the darkness are actually running a beauty salon. Somebody breaks a nail, Saruman goes down and gets them designed. The Uruk-Hai are the trainees, of course.

My question:

Why are Legolas's eyes brown at some points in the movies?

*holds back bitter laughter* Obviously because old Orli had some trouble using the bathroom, got a lil full at times you mite say.

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Why is Gandalf's hat blue?

Because the brown eyes Legolas is actually his identical twin brother and they switch places often.

It's so obvious. Gandalf's hat is blue because of Legolas. Before the Fellowship was formed, Gandalf's hat was orange. Legolas mocked him, saying orange was not his color and did not go with his eyes. Gandalf chose a hat in a nice shade of hot pink, but it clashed with his outfit and made him look rather silly. Finally, Elrond had a special hat made for Gandalf for a birthday present, one that would go nicely with his eyes, and also one that was made out of a nice material.

My question: What were the names of the Two Towers and why?

Tweedledum and Tweedledee: because they were fond of rattles. 'Tis true...each Tower had a large rattle adorning the pinnicle.

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What is the only known cure for a neekerbreeker bite infection?

You make a lembas smoothie and spread it over the bite. Also makes a nice lembas bread dip.

Question: Who does Gimli's hair and beard? And how does Gimli pay?

galadriel does his hair and he pays her with erotic dances

What do nazgul do or fun?

The nazgul, being the very social creatures that they are, enjoy shopping, bowling, and going out to see movies with their friends. If they want some alone time, they primp themselves in Galadriel's mirror, and test out the newest Mary Kay prouducts.

Who styles the Hobbits foot hair?

Peter Jackson, of course. After a terrible experiment he was working on, using rogaine and dorito's 3d's, he was transported to middle earth. He ended up at Bag End, to be exact, and immediately became friends with a young Bilbo. He encouraged him to add braids and pretty multicolored beads to his foot hair. After being transported back, alongside his assistant Chris Tolkien, he began working on a script to a codename "movie" to show his findings.

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Why does Elrond resemble a sheep?

[ January 02, 2003: Message edited by: Nari ]

Elrond resembles a sheep because of an unfortunate episode way back in his family. His father had a thing for farm-yard animals, need I say more.
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What does Gandalf take, in the movies he seems to look more and more stoned. Especially when he stares at nothing after saying about how he flew through the darkness of space. So - what is Gandalf actually on?

Everyone knows that it's pipeweed.

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What was Galadriel and Finrod's favorite thing to do together?

Switch Celeborn's perfume with raid and then watch him spray himself.

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Who is Arwen secretly in love with?

My cat, Genarol Posy. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

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Who pretends to be Eowyn's fairy godmother?

Arwen. She does it so she can keep tabs on Aragorn and also keep Éowyn away from him.
..::Why do hobbits like mushrooms (no drug jokes, please)?::..

Mushrooms? What on earth are you talking about? My Lord, Hobbits, don't like mushrooms, they positivly hate them! In fact, Hobbit's are such picky eaters, one might almost call them anorexic.

What is an entmoot?

Eet ees noot wot, eet ees whoo. Shee's me mum's seestur, me Ent Moot. Shurt foor Mootriana.
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Some of the orcs that captured Merry and Pippin asked about them giving good sport. What sport would that be?

**that was a very clever reply hobbitlass**

The Hobbits are champion track runners, and the orcs asked Merry and Pippin for some tips to improve their speed. When the two Hobbits told them that it might help if they got rid of some of the heavy things things they were carrying, they dropped Merry and Pippin off in Fangorn forest (they were very heavy) and then ran away to Greece to enlist in the olympics. Why else do you think all ancient Greek statues and paintings had such ugly people in them? They were not people at all, in fact...they were orcs. Now you know the truth.

When Frodo, Merry, Pippin, and Sam ran away to Great Britian to create a rock band, what did they name it and why?

Well, there was quite a debate what to name themselves! Frodo was in favor of Frodo and the Rag-Tag-Tagalongs, Sam prefered Samwise and the Gardeners, Merry suggested The Magnificent Four, and Pippin liked the sound of Pheriannath Princes.

Eventually (after much arguing)they decided on The Travellers, as that is what they were known as in the Shire. Their first big hit was "I've Been Through Mordor on a Fell-Beast With No Name" followed by the platnium chart topping, "Sweet Rosie Gamgee" (with Sam singing lead vocal and the others just kind of humming). But they are best remembered for the mega-hits, "Tooks Just Wanna Have Fun" and "My Precious".

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What has six legs and flies?

[ January 03, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

My little brother Weston.

Where did Eowyn and Faramir go on their honeymoon?

Mount Doom of course! The roaring volcano, seething flame, hot danger lurking nearby... *purr*

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What happened when Arwen first introduced Aragorn to her daddy?

Elrond fell in love with him and Aragorn left Arwen to be with her father.

Who are Gollums parents?

Saruman and Gandalf. They had to keep each other company on those long lonely nights... Gollum recieved Saruman's hair and Gandalf's eyes. Frodo was not so curious to ask whose body shape Gollum took after. Gandalf did not want to admit to mothering Smeagol, so he convinced Frodo to pity him. After all, it isn't too hard to pity a creature whose father is a creepy, well manicured evil guy and whose mother is a large bearded wizard.

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What was the first thing Rosie said to Sam?

The first thing Rosie said to Sam was "Move you fat lazy arse out of my way you stupid dolt!" This occured when a group of teenage hobbits (sam and rosie included) went into the Old Forest to see the legendary singing sensation Tom Bombadil perform, and Rosie, who was head over heels in love with Tom, was intent on getting his autograph. In the frenzy to get to him, she pushed aside and insulted all that got in her way.

Where did Galadriel get her mirror?

[ January 03, 2003: Message edited by: Daewen ]

Pier One imports.


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What did Elladan and Elrohir really want to be when they grew up?

Aylwen

[ January 03, 2003: Message edited by: Aylwen Dreamsong ]

They always dreamed of owning a hardware shop..

Congrats on the "Ghost Prince of Cardolan" Aylwen! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

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What did the hobbits find in the Barrow-downs?

The biggest darn Backstreet Boys fanclub between Hobbiton and Mordor!!!

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What is Pippin's biggest secret?

He is bald! Don't tell anyone! He got the wig cheap. Only a few dollars. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Thanks, Beren!

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Who was Gandalf's favorite singer?

Tom Bombadil of course! Did you seriously think he went to the Shire for Bilbo's party? Uh uh, he went because he knew Old Tom was holding a concert!

Who is Arwen Evenstar?

Arwen Evenstar is Eowyn's twin sister who grew up thinking she was an Elf, all because Galadriel kidnapped her at a young age and brought her to Rivendell, forseeing that Aragorn would fall in love with her, and wanting to make their story more interesting.
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Why did Smeagol want the Ring back so much?

A: Gollum actally has a girlfriend. Seeing that Men and Elves would shoot him on sight and Dwarves are so rare these days, he simply could not geta ring legaly. So he stole one from Sauron and that is also why Gollum got tortured by him.

Q: Who was Sharku?

My little brothers best friend, also known by the name of Marty Ordinans.

(also Gamja...who is Sharku?)

Who were the top 5 hottest celebraties in the most recent issue of Middle Earth Teen People?

Nazguls Numbers 2,3,5,7, and 9. There were so much hotter than the other Nazguls! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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What great disfigurement did Frodo return to the shire with after Mount Doom? {Hint: They wrote stories about this ---- -------- Frodo}

Well, I can't possibly give you the right answer, so keep your hint! [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

Frodo came home with one of his eyes poked out. Yes, Sam only thought that it was Shelob's eye he punctured. In his mad frenzy he acidentally stabbed Frodo as well. So Frodo was known as the One Eyed Hobbit, and wore different colored patches to go with his different outfits. You can't say that Hobbit didn't have fashion sense (but you could say he didn't have depth-perception. That would be a fair statement). The best looking, best dressed One-Eyed Hobbit in Hobbiton, he was. Yessir.

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What did Maglor cast into the Sea?

His clothes! ITS SKINNY DIPPING TIME!

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Who were the guards of the citadel?

Shoprite's CanCan girls, I thought everyone knew that! [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]
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What are the names of all nine Nazgul?

Them? We don't rightly know. They are of the scary folk-black riders we call them. What their right names are we've never heard: but they're known round here as Black, Shadow, Dark, Night, Spook, and 'the others'.
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Why can't the Mouth if Sauron remember his own name?