Everyone was distracted by the HUGE pimple on Théoden’s nose, especially as it appeared to wiggle whenever Théoden breathed.

Aragorn: 0_0!

OR

Gimli wonders how long it will take Legolas to notice that he has stolen his bowstring.

To defeat Sauron we will need more than luck fellows, said Aragorn

I have my Axe handy, said Gimli

I have a Bow in my hair, said Legolas

And have my Armee, said Aragorn, and don't call me Andy he added, looking at the dwarf.

Aragorn: Ok my friends, we need a plan!

Gimli: What do you have in mind??

Aragorn: We sneak up on him and tape his cloak to him.

Legolas: Hey! I know what to do!! We come up with a plan!!

Gimli and Legolas: :rolleyes:

Aragorn: Is this the lost and found?

Man: Yes it is.

Aragorn: Good I was hoping you could help me find my right hand, I seem to have misplaced it.

Aragorn: We're impressed Gandalf, I swear we're impressed.

Legolas: Just put the cloak back on, OK? It's getting old.

Gimli: 3 times! That's 3 times this week!

Gimli: "What is it now, A'gorny?"
Legolas (whispers): "Shhh... He's thinking! You shouldn't ruin this rare moment!"

Man: I'm sorry, Aragorn, but our Princess is in another castle.

Aragorn: ... ... Damn.

OR

Legolas: That is no Orc Horn.

Man: No indeed. It’s a 1296 vintage wine bottle, very good year.

Aragorn: Pour us a glass would you old chap.

It turned out that Walmart did not in fact sell horses, as Eomer had told them.

Aragorn: Darnit! Why couldn't he have just given us those two horses he had going spare?

(Elsewhere, a manic Eomer laughs gleefully at having successfully fooled three more unsuspecting travellers)

Rohan store guy: Well, if we don't have what you're looking for, you could always try Gap of Rohan *evil grin*

It was always hard trying to explain things to Aragorn's mom, especially when they got caught sneaking out after dark to smite evil.

Mom: Ary! What have I told you about sneaking off to hunt orcs on a school night?

Aragorn: Um... Don't?

Mom: That's RIGHT. And now look: You've gone and lost a hand, haven't you? I TOLD you one of these days you'd lose a hand or an eye, didn't I?!

Aragorn: .... yes...

Mom: And YOU TWO! Goading him into this! Just you wait until I call your mothers.

Legolas and Gimli: Oh no!!

Aragorn: At the fork in the road, which direction do I go then.

Unseen Man: You take the road to your left.

Legolas: Oh boy I hope we get to the wizard quickly I really want to get a brain.

Gimli:You need a brain, I need a heart.. Poor Mr. Future King there (points at Aragorn) needs a new hand and needs to know the way to Gondor... You figured he would know the way by now.. Maybe he's the one that needs the brain instead..... :D

Aragorn: Spare some change, guv’nor?

Gimli: When Grima said we were a bunch of beggars, he didn't mean for us to take it seriously.

Ripping off all the previous jokes...
 

Legolas: "Extended warranty? How could I lose?"

Gorn & Gimli: :rolleyes:

or

Gimli: "You nancy man, thinking you have it hard 'cos you lost your hand; My Jaw fell off!

or

Gandalf: "You know, if you ever gave me a good solid punch then I might stop uncloaking; but all you ever do is stand there looking glum!"

or

The gang realised that Éomer had lied to them; Saruman was not in fact handing out free ice-cream.

From left to right: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Legolas: Gimli! Don't look now, but Aragorn's hair is on fire!!! :eek:

or

Aragorn: Honestly, I really don't care if Gandalf the Grey is uncloaked. He only does it every day.

Lego and Gimli: gasp! :eek:

A Rather Late Caption For The Pippin Pic
-----------------
Pippin during the halftime show “wardrobe malfunction” of Super Bowl XXXVIII...

Robbers . . .
 

Aragorn: Yes, that's right. Give us all your money or Leggy here will begin his Captain Obvious routine.

Speaking of Capt. Obvious . . .

Legolas: This is a bank. There are lots of money in a bank. We need money. We are robbing you. Give us all your money.

Aragorn: You better give it now, man. My ears are bleeding.

Legolas watches intently as the glowing yellow slug climbs up Aragorn's head...

Rodents Of Unusal Size...
 

Gandalf: “Had a run-in with an ROUS did you?”

Aragorn: “Uh, you’re observant.”

The NHS (Not Here Service)
 

Unseen Medic: Sorry Sir there's a waiting list for mangled arms, can you come back in two years please.

Gimli: Ha-Ha, It's your own fault laddy, don't jump the queue next time (British Version)


or


Unseen Medic: Sorry Sir your Health Insurance seems to be out of date, and your credit card has expired.


Legolas: If this has upset you in anyway Aragorn, I know a good shrink (American Version)

With apologies to Lalwendë
 

Gimli the Joker slyly puts the banana flambé on Aragorn's head, and uses the excess grease to create a dreadlock for Legolas.

or

Disappointment at the Three Musketeers auditions.

Aragorn REALLY needed to wash his hair: Not only had his head lice evolved into semi-intelligent beings, they had completed their first pyramid and were now working on a new shopping center.

Bouncer at Moria: "You're not coming in tonight lads, sorry. It's no students."

Aragorn: "We look like students?"

Bouncer: "You've got long hair, you're wearing a ripped leather jacket and you've got a road saftey lantern on your head because it looks 'funny'..."

Aragorn" Is the union bar open, lads?"

In the deep dark of Moria Aragorn's poor hygene came in handy.

OR

Aragorn: "Okay Theoden, this really isn't funny anymore. Let is into Helms Deep or I'll clean my hand off on Legolas' tunic and you'll be forced to deal with the squealing and pleas for oxy-clean."

Legolas: "Yeah! Wait... what, huh?"

Gimli: Ah now I see Legolas why your not married yet. If Arwen cut Aragorn's hand off only because he didn't call her then wonder what she would do if she found out that Aragorn was actually at Pippen's party.

Legolas: I told you elf chics were, are, and always will be dangerous. Thats why I'm going to run away and dissapear.

Aragorn thinking to himself I knew I should've lied to her, but Legolas and his "Tell her the truth and she won't be angry with you." Should have cut his hand off but then he wouldn't be good for anything..... What am I saying all he ever does is complain about how he needs to take a bath and keep his brown hair blonde. We all know its not his natural color.

Aragorn: Now why'd ya go and do that, Vader? This is TTT not ESB!

Gimli: "What do you think Ents look like?"

Aragorn: "I don't know. Talking parsnips maybe?"

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d7...beard-find.jpg

Treebeard was very farsighted.

The Lord of the Rings by Dr Suess.

Caption
 

According to Treebeard, the secret to Hobbit bowling is a five step approach and getting good loft out onto the lane.

Many a young hobbit would be told of the dangers of ill conducted farming, but far worse was sitting through the animated educational films of it's consequences...

~ Aesthete

Merry's worst nightmare had come true: The potatoes had become horribly mutated, and were now coming to exact their terrible revenge!!

UnNamed Hobbit Child: So mom this is what Mr. Pippen said an Ent looked like.... If you ask me it looks more like a giant carrot...

Rous
 

Pippin: I've seen Rodents Of Unusual Size, but this is ridiculous.

( :p to Estel.)

Treebeard: Okay, which one of you put ale in my Ent draught? You know it does this to me!

OR

Merry: Go faster!

Treebeard: I can't my legs aren’t long enough!

What has Sharkû done?!
 

SoggyBottom Boys
Merry: Um, I'm not changing him.

Well, the obvious:

THIS IS GANDALF THE GREY... UNCLOAKED!! :eek:

OR

Merry and Pippin wish they'd never joined the Lumberjack's association...

Probably the most frightening thing about Fangorn was his inexplicable farmer's tan.

OR

Disturbing new evidence on the existance of giant forest newts.

Too much pipe weed + too much ale + lack of sleep = This

After they were famous:

With Saruman defeated, Sauron fallen and nothing to do, Treebeard really let himself go.

OR

With Saruman defeated, Sauron fallen and nothing to do, Gandalf really let himself go.

Treebeard didn't know what to make of his new novelty dice, but he sure hoped they were loaded. He'd already gambled away half of his trees, and was in danger of Quickbeam swiping the rest that evening.