I feel her pain...
 

Eowyn: "What's with that headline down there? We're not "making friends" at all, I'm asking you where Aragorn is!! Gossip these days... :rolleyes:"

"Let's see?!? You got three golden hairs from Galadriel. From me, you got the tips of two fingers!!! What are you up to, Master Dwarf???"

Gimli and Eowyn decided to donate hair, and they're doing it together so they can give each other morale support.

OR

Eowyn: "Is this a proposal!"
Gimli: "Heck no! Whatever gave you that idea?!"
Eowyn: "Well, you are kneeling..."
Gimli: "I'm standing straight up!"
Eowyn: :o

Eowyn: The Lord Aragorn. Where is he?

Gimli: I'm sorry, he went for a bath... and we never saw him again. We think he melted.

Eowyn: Well, that explains why he never had one before.

Survivor: Helm's Deep

Gimli: "How about an Alliance, my lady? Lets get rid of Theoden..."

Eoywn: "Theoden!? Gimli you rascal...I like the way you think." :p

When their hands met Eowyn knew she had lost the debate of who made the best hand-creme.

or

At that magical moment when their hands met and it seemed like time stopped, Eowyn realised that it was Gimli she was about to kiss and threw up.

or

When Gimli and Eowyn was married not even King Theoden and his bravest soldiers dared look. (Instead they started talking about what a magnificent horse that was)

Gimli: "You cannot lay claim to being the Liz Hurley of Helms Deep until you get the courage to ditch the baggy blue shift, madam."

2 minuets earlier:

Théoden: Eowyn! I smashed Gimli's axe and I need to get it fixed. Here he comes, stall him!

Eowyn: But I...

Théoden: Just do it!

So

Eowyn: ... Erm... You have beautiful eyes.... ?

Gimli: ... Okay... Have you been drinking?

OR

From Shrek:

Eowyn: I need to ask you something... Do you know the muffing man?

Gimli: The muffin man?

Eowyn: The muffin man.

Gimli: Yes. I know the muffin man.

Gimli: "Thank-you ma'am. The soup was delicious."

Meduseld waltz-hall....
 

Raindrops on roses,
And whiskers on kittens,
Bright copper kettles,
And warm woollen mittens,
Brown tousled beards,
Tied up with strings,
These are a few of my favorite things . . .

Cream colored ponies,
An' crisp apple strudels,
Doorbells an' sleigh bells,
An' schnitzel with noodles,
Warriors that fight with the moon on their axe-blades,
These are a few of my favorite things . . .

Dwarves in long dresses,
With blue satin sashes,
Snow flakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
Silver white winters,
That melt into springs,
These are a few of my favorite things . . .

When the dog bites,
When the bee stings,
When I'm feelin' sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad . . .

Beards....hmmm kittens...
Axes....hmmm.....mittens....
La dee da, la dee da,
La dee da, da,
These are a few of my favorite things . . .

When the dog barks,
When the bee stings,
When I'm feelin' sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And little by little my heavy heart sings . . .

And then I don't feel so bad . . .

Gimli working at Animan Hospital
 

Gimli: I'm sorry. Your hamster is dead.

Eowyn: How? When?

Gimli: Ten seconds ago when you squashed him in my hands.

Eowyn: ... oops.

OR

Théoden: Is this the queue for the toilet?

Rohan soldier: Yes.

Théoden: Then why is the horse here?

Eowyn: On second thought, I'd rather have Grima.
Gimli: Ouch.

This is the News
 

Eowyn: I'm afraid we're being replaced, Gimli:

Gimli: I'll get my axe!

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images...book/11343.jpg

Frodo: Excuse me, could you tell me if I'm on the right road to Mordor?

OR

Frodo: Light sabres? In Middle Earth? Inconceivable!

Frodo: "Excuse me, sirs. I don't mean to disturb you, but I want you to know that there's an enormous vicious spider right behind you."

OR

Frodo: "Gollum, you <deleted>! . . . Hi, I'm Frodo, and I've been punk'd."

Frodo: Whaddaya mean, it was all just a set-up for Candid Camera?!

Peter Jackson to Elijah Wood: Try not to damage the set too much, I'm thinking of making Arachnophobia II after King Kong

PJ: "You need more light. There you are."
Frodo: "What?! Wasn't I supposed to use the light of Eärendil?"

The interns knew their quality of life was going to go down the drain when PJ announced the Light-Bracket budget had been scrapped in order to make the hobbit's feet fuzzier.

Frodo: You've got to help me! I'm being chased by some strange light being! :eek:

OR

Just when Frodo realised he'd forgotten Galadriel’s phial, Eärendil decided to drop in. You can see him coming around the corner. :p

Paleoanthropologists exploring a cave system on the island of Flores are astounded to discover a live specimen of our Hobbit ancestors.

Sadly, their excitement is short-lived as, seconds later, they are devoured by an enormous funnel-web spider. :eek:

The discovery of the first natural source of candy floss.

OR

Forget the spider....

Frodo: Eeek! A mouse!
Crew: *panic!*
Guy: Quick Frodo, hit it with this!

Spider round the corner: Hey, that was my dinner! Oh well, guess I'll have to settle for Hobbit instead.

The Bag End wasn't quite the same when Frodo came back.

Even in the deepest wine cellars of Aman, Frodo could not escape the media.

Guy: Frodo! What was Mount doom like?

OR

Frodo: Oh no! The press! Stand still; their vision is based on movement!

Cameraman: Where did he go? :eek:

Frodo: "Beam me up, Sam."

OR:

PJ: "This is a Class M world. Act like it is one."

Elijah: "What do you mean, you want to make this Tolkien's time travel story? Won't that incense the purists even more?"

Peter Jackson begins work on a 4th LOTR movie

"Lord of the Rings: The Horror of the Valar" in this sequel Frodo and Bilbo along with Galadriel and Gandalf come to the Western shores to find all the Valard dead and killed because in a magic twist Sauron has returned more powerful than before. yes this movie will be grand when asked about the loalty to the book Peter Jackson was quoted as such.

"There is no fourth book so this is merely my interpretation of what happened after the LOTR."

Lord of the Rings fans who somehow don't know about the books are thrilled

those who have...were less so one Fan even threatened Mr. Jackson in a way only a fan could "I'm going to Kill you This is an outraged you've gone one gross too far this time. may morgoth eat your soul and your body whipped to shreads by balrogs which by the way do not have wings!"


ok that was a long caption

The director was thrilled: His documentary team had come across an actual hobbit, right here in Spider Cave! The viewers loved watching live spider feedings.

OR

Peter Jackson tried to lure Frodo back onto the set with a large Thermos of hot chocolate.

Frodo was astonished to find he had stepped through a time portal and straight onto the set of a Cure video.


OR


Jackson: "Um, New Line wanted us to get a bit more product placement into the film so we've replaced the Phial of Galadriel with the new lightweight aluminium Maglite. Here, catch..."

Guy: "Psst! Here, use this sawed-off shotgun."
Frodo: "But that would be cheating! They don't even exist yet!"

OR

In an attempt to catch the extremely dangerous and deadly hobbit that had just escaped from the local zoo, one member of the catch team distracted it with a muffin while the other moved in to knock it unconscious.

OR

PJ: "Okay, look deep into the camera and say 'I support George W. Bush.' "
Elijah: "I... wait! I am not putting politics in Lord of the Rings!"

OR

PJ: "It's all very simple. Take this helium tank and these balloons and make a few dozen balloon impersonations of yourself to confuse Shelob."

When he returned:

Guy: Where have you been?

Frodo: I DON'T KNOW! :(

"Is that a sword in your pocket or are you just happy to see us?"

After another sleepless night, Frodo snapped and went round to complain about the endless partying of the bunch of students who had moved into the Smial next door.

We all love those Tabloids!
 

Tabloid Headline: Hobbit found hiding in underground dwelling! Do they exist? Or is it an alien from another planet? :p

Frodo was mad as a Balrog when the Rentokill guys finally turned up over three hours late. "Look, I've got a giant Spider to get rid of here. Where were you? Don't tell me. Another Warg infestation. Same old excuse."

Elijah: I'm just not feeling "the scary".

Some will go anywhere for a bit of spare change.

Frodo: Look, for the last time, will you stop following me! I don't have any money! If you'll excuse me, there is a giant spider after me!

OR

Frodo: Why do I get the feeling I'm being watched?

PJ: okay, here is where you look in terror and run away okay... and action!

Frodo:....LINE!

PJ: okay theres no line, okay, you just run away in fear got it?

Frodo: got it!

PJ: okay lets do this again!...action!

Frodo:...LINe Please?!

PJ: you know what, lets just let our animators boys do this part too

After Elijah messes up yet another take, the film crew becomes angry and rushes forward, intent on killing the miserable little hobbit.

Frodo was always a little camera shy:

Camera-man's helper-guy: "Come on, smile! Look at the, er... shiny cylinder thing!"

OR

Elijah: "Bubble gum? A laser pen?!"
PJ: "Yeah, and here's a flourescent(sp) light. Now: Action!"
Elijah: ?????

OR

Frodo stands entranced as the media creates horrible stories about him:
Media Guy 1: "Bag End resident charged with large scale dirt theft!"
Media Guy 2: "Hobbit caught carrying concealed weapon!"
Media Guy 3: "Frodo Baggins found standing beside large pile of illegal drugs!"
Media Guy 4: "Hobbit seen at the scene of mass toilet-papering crime!"

Frodo: Look, I think this has gone on long enough!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...ba/Busstop.jpg

Four hours after the end of the battle of the Black Gate, these four Orcs were still waiting to get to Mordor.

Orc1: I told you we should have got a taxi.

OR

Orc1: Are you sure this is a real bus stop? We've been here for 5 days.

Orc2: We're not moving! As soon as we do, three Busses will come all at once!

Despite all his flatteries, Sauron's "Search for the Beautiful Orc" pageant was not at all a hit.