Hey, Hookbill! You spelled Mr. Marx's name with a C, it's suppose to be a K! :p:D

Ha! That means Rune's enterprise is a fraud!

Rune -- here's a catchy slogan for your next advertisement:

"At Runes', nobody can beat our meat!"

I feel that it is my duty to inform you that Hookbill had nothing to do with the wrong spelling of Karl Marx's name.

It was the way I comisioned the advert. . .I thought it would increase my meats apeal to tolkien fans.

You see in the Danish LotR books (Ringenes Herre) names such as Cirdan and Celeborn is spelled Kirdan and Keleborn, this is so in order to make it easier for Danes to understand how it should be pronounced.

I simply figured that by writting Carl Marx rather than Karl Marx it would bring a touch of middle-earth to the product and thus increas the interest from Downers.

102
 

Special thanks to TheGreatElvenWarrior for the second story of doom.

Sorry about the main story... I couldn't resist.

http://i31.tinypic.com/15s39tx.jpg

This week, Mr. Phantom reads some disturbing news...

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...h/PandA096.jpg

Next week, there may be cake... But probably not...

I love it! Alien says all sorts of things to make the Phantom very mad and distressed! How funny. The perfect answer to the question "Was it something I said?"

Heh. Always a good giggle. Thanks for another great issue, Hookbill. *chuckles*

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Dear Sir, Madam or Cat:

I must protest in the most strenuous possible terms the article entitled 'Cereal Box Discovered Having Affair With Toaster'. The very thought of it is absurd! Look, in my part of the country ready-to-eat breakfast foods do not mingle with electric kitchen utensils. It just is not done! You have gone beyond the bounds of decency reporting an odd bit of decadent, amoral and obviously deviant behavior that is certainly outside the realm of culinary taste.

Oh yes, I can hear the jokes now: 'What, were they caught spooning?' or 'Oh, she was a real Pop-tart alright!' and so on and so forth, thus trivializing the monogamous and God-given commandments rendered unto food groups and their associated utensils. Steak knives cut meat, butter knives butter bread, toasters make toast, bowls and spoons are made for cereal -- this is the bedrock and foundation of a civilized pantry!

What next, electric blenders furtively mixing with salmon? The silver tea set slumming with pork and beans? Bananas lasciviously stripping for the can-opener? It shall be perversion in the pantry! Clammering in the cupboards! Chaos in the kitchen! We shall be knived, scooped and forked before the morning coffee percolates! Cereal killers! Cereal killers and appliance abominations!

Sincerely yours,
Emma Little-Teapot
Short-on-Stout, Harrismehandle, Heresmespout Co.

P.S. Sorry for the outburst. Sometimes I get so steamed up, I just shout.

A modern way of loving one's cat - force-feeding it phantoms.

Poor Phantom, he made a simple remark about cats being evil and now everyone is out to get him.:(

That first story was hilarious, Hookbill. Do the Downs always dress their astronauts up like Eskimos?

Are you out to get the Phantom? Because if you aren't then not everybody is out to get him.

And that picture doesn't look like Eskimos (and if your in Alaska by the way, don't call them Eskimos) The real thing has very colourful clothing. Have you seen the parkas? Very pretty!

And Tea can definitely improve your life!

Oh no, my good reputation has been shattered. How did you know I was a drunk? :D

Coffee anyone?:D


Don't worry Brinniel, we know you weren't drunk, it's Rune that we're worried about.;)

Random Quote #741: "I like being in the Downer!"
 

C-O-F-F-E-E, Coffee is not for me
It's a drink some people wake up with
That it makes them nervous is no myth
Slaves to a coffee cup,
they can't give coffee up!

I don't like coffee! But I absolutely love tea, that all started when my mom, gramma, my mom's friend and I went for tea in the Empress hotel in Victoria. Before that, I hated tea. But coffee even more so.

Dear Teapot-type person...

The Downer has noted your complaints and has forwarded them on to a rival newspaper along with four tons of manure. We trust you will find this an appropriate use of your letter and time.
You will be billed for the truck.

Yours etcetera, etcetera,
Sir Donald Deafears

A Question For Hookbill!!!!
 

I just now noticed that the Phantom and Alien were on week #96, is there going to be something special for week 100 or is it just going to be another week?

Plans are being formed in the dark regions of my mind.

Oh Dear!:eek:

Yes, yes, Hookbill, I already get it about tea. :p

And the newspaper Phantom was reading tells the truth: stress does cause diarrhea!

Really? :eek: Poor Phantom.

Alright, I'm going to reveal a bit about my plans for The Phantom and Alien 100th episode extravaganza! We're not quite sure what form it will take, but we're pretty certain that is' going to be musical. YES! The Phantom and Alien sing a duet! :D
Anyone got any suggestions for a song for them? Nice and ironic, but one they can divide between one another. At the moment, I'm thinking:

Love me do - The Beatles
When I'm Sixty Four - The Beatles
Rocket Man - Elton John
Mad World - Tears For Fears

But we're open to suggestions. What would you like to hear me and my brother singing in stupid voices? :p

When I'm Sixty Four sounds like a good choice.

Hmm... I think that the Elton John song would be funny! :D How about these songs?

Take this job and shove it- Johnny Paycheck

The Gambler- Kenny Rogers

Just some good ol' classic, country songs! :cool:

EDIT: I think this post is bad luck, it's my 666th post!!:eek:

I'd like to hear them do Song 2 by Blur.

Did someone mention the Gambler?
 

Certainly is caused me to plug this:
http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpos...&postcount=280

I am of the opinion that "When I'm 64" would work best in with the medium.

I think it would be funny to have them singing Faith Hill and Tim McGraw! (Yes, I do listen to country music)

Oh my giddy aunt!

Thanks a bundle to Formendacil for writing some stuff...

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Week103.jpg

This week, The Phantom and Alien are interrupted...

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...h/PandA097.jpg

Aww, you missed the opportunity to tie in both stories with the picture! :(

That was the worst rule ever!
 

I was in the Downer, I'm honored! But there's just one problem... I don't remember saying that... I must have done it when I was sleeping... Either that, or the news lied;):p... nah, that never happens.

Anything with the Beatles! :D

And referring to the leading story, the Barrow-Downs police department seems to be a fun place to be; what does it take to get a position there?

I don't think it takes much, considering that Davem is one of the higher ups... By the way, did you read the article that I wrote for last week?

EDIT: Oh and Lauri, I was trying to explain to you what a goomba was, look at the picture. Or alternatively, you could play Mario Kart at my house and I can show you... and play video games at the same time!

I'm pretty sure Davem just started insisting everyone call him 'officer' one day and we just assumed he was with the police. Turns out he was... the band, The Police, that is.

Heh heh... same here.

That was a great article, by the way. Both of them.

Is that how it happened? Are you sure of that?

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Dear Sirs:

I must reverently applaud the latest edition of your paper. Very rarely in this sodden era of quick sound-bytes, media overkill and celebrity sexploitation has a publication presented news with such conciseness and clarity. Your columnists deserve accolades for their perspicacity, keeness of wit and literary flair. Henceforth, I shall get all my news from one and only source: The New York Times.

Oh, wait...I seem to be on the wrong website. Please disregard everything I've said.

Iris Myopia
Plainview, NY USA

I thought that too... but I, on the other hand, will only got my news from one source: The Downer.

But, if you have to start paying actual money for the Downer, I'm switching to The Barrow. After all, it's only 7 1/2p

lox, stox, and salamander
 

What a conundrum! How would one go about repping Mr. Formendacil for his contribution?

Find a post he's done on this thread? :confused: Or go around to his house and steal his gold, then post it back to him...

The only paper I will ever read is the one, the only, the Downer! :D
The only thing that would stop me is if I had to pay money for it. Then I wouldn't read any news!

If it's of any assistance, I'll be out of town all weekend, so my lack-of-gold should be relatively unguarded, other than the giant spiders. :p

Glad you enjoyed it.