W-K: That tower has to be around here somewhere.

OR

Sauron: Be back by 11! I won't heat up your tea again if you're late!

Witch-King: We've been flying around in circles long enough - I hate MapQuest! If we don't find our way to the Shire soon we'll have to do something desperate - like stopping and asking for directions!

Secrets of Middle-earth Revealed No.1.

Pigeon racing was a keenly contested pastime amongst the Ainur and Sauron believed that his new coop at Barad-Dur would beat Manwe and his Eagles hands down.

WARING: another Leslie Nielson joke
 

Sauron: after that new picture!


http://www.slateman.net/images/misc/nazgul.jpg

Sauron: now i want you to grab the hobbit and bring him back to me alive!

Nazgul: surely you don't mean it!

Sauron: of course i mean it and stop calling me Shirley!

Fell Beast: Did you Ring, little master?

Nazgul: Sure you can feed it, it won't bite.

Nazghul: "I told you my daddy was bigger than yours!"

Frodo has almost completed his masterpiece. This painting is so lifelike, it almost scares it's maker.

Unknown to both Hobbit and Nazgul, they were about to be transported into a whole new dimension. The dimension of... ANIMATION!!

Frodo was quite shocked when he saw what had followed him home and had no desire to keep it.

Frodo reflects: "Feeding the pigeons in Trafalgar Square is a picnic compared to feeding the ones in Gondor."

Frodo has second thoughts about ordering from the Osgiliath branch of KFC.

Delivery guy: Ok, I've plucked it & stuffed it - all you have to do is kill it & stick it in the oven...'

Many Flying Nazgul Pic
----------------------------

The lesser-known eleventh plague of Egypt.

The Riddle Game Continued
 

Frodo: "What has the head of an eel, the wings of a bat, and the legs of Tyrannosaurus rex?"

Nazgul: "I give up. What?

Frodo: "Don't know. But you're sitting on it!"

Nazgul: "YIKES!"

Nazgul: I found you!!

or

Nazgul: So THAT'S what happened to my life sized cut out of Frodo!!

Though it was quite touching, the twenty minute long musical love scene between Frodo and the Fell Beast suffered from both the beast's inablity to form words, and Frodo's inablity to do anything but squawk and bulge his eyes a little more.

Fell Beast: I caught a Fish that was THIS Big!

OR

Nazgûl: I will rain down mighty Doom and terror upon this land and all shall fall into- Are you listening to me?

Frodo: *Eats popcorn*

Nobody gets away with stealing a Nazgul's scarf !

or

Nazgul: Look! I have tought it to walk on it's toes. . .

Nazgul: What the hell are you doing here, haven't you read the book?

Before taking the trip to the Continent, Frodo was told that Piazza San Marko in Venice would be full of pigeons, and it was a tradition to feed them, but he never expected to see one this big at all

How hobbit kids view mum on a bad day.

Once again, Frodo had forgotten his contact lenses...

"Here, kitty kitty!"

In tribute to Calvin and Hobbes
Whenever Frodo opened a can of tuna it always brought around the most unwelcome guests.

Frodo: "Pew! And I thought dogs had bad breath!"

OR

Frodo: "Please move aside! I want a photo of those beautiful clouds."

Sam Vimes starts to sweat as the dragon soars closer.

The Fellowship soon got the hang of the "Cardboard Standee Trick" - standing up cardboard cutouts of Frodo throught Middle Earth to trick the Nazgul.

For the previous pic once again...

Nazgul: The clouds are low today, and you know what that means?
Sauron: What?
Nazgul: It's got a nose redder than the Eye of our mighty Lord, providing more guidance in foggy times than a bucketful of Gandalfs, and faster on the wind than even Thorondor of the Eagles, its...
(all start singing)
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, who had a very shin-ey nooose! And if you ever saw it... you would even say it glows!!!!!

And for this pic...

Nazgul: I mean, who needs black powers controlling a ring of great power, all we need to put Frodo out of business is a giant bat doing a striptease...
Fell Beast: (slowly opening wings) Duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh...
Frodo: AAARRGGHH!!!! NOOOOO! MY EYES ARE BURNING!!

A new weapon for Gondor
 

Who would have guessed that taking down the fell beasts would have been so easy... leave them alone with a hungry hobbit for two minutes and voila! Two big bite-marks on their wings. Quite a delicacy, but really hard to find, the halflings say.

Bill Oddie hadn't realised birdspotting could be so perilous in Middle-earth.

The Frodo vs. Fell Beast Belching Contest was just a little one-sided.

Fell beast: Boo!

Auditions for the role of Frodo weren't easy, as the apperance of a real live Fell Beast was just one of the many surprises that PJ tried on the actors to keep them off-balance.

Now you know why Elijah Wood's eyes are so big. :p

Why Frodo was not an effective ring bearer
 

Frodo: Oh I cannot bear to see anybody in so much pain. It must be killing you to have those holes in your wings. Sam, come quick and fix Mr. Fell beast's wings.

or

Sauron's new weapons...the fell beast....uncloaked :rolleyes:

Frodo: "If you want it, come and claim it!"

Fell Beast: "Come 'ere and give me a Great Big Hug!"

Fell Beast: This is a NEW picture of doom!

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/1419.jpg

Wormtong: I feel I could eat a horse.

Saruman: Looks like you already did!

PJ: Christopher, do you have to take this so seriously? If you keep going about like this, you'll kill Ian.

Chris: That's the point.

PJ: :eek:

PJ: Wow! She's a looker isn't she?

Saruman: I've lived for many many years and I've never beheld such a beauty in all my days, not in any of the races.

PJ: I just can't understand why everybody bad mouths Lobelia when she is so radiantly beautiful!

PJ: So Saruman, we look left, then right, and then we cross the road - got it?

Christopher and PJ were unimpressed by the Fellowship actors Palantir soccer game.
PJ: Billy, that is not toy!

or

The Uruk-hai conga line took Saruman and PJ's breath away.