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Pippin: Merry? Is that a talking muffin?
Merry: I think it's a talking muffin, Pip. |
Orcs in background: maybe nobody woud notice if we nibbled an arm off
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... When cable arrived to Arda, no one could be distracted, not even orc prisoners.
Orc: It's so clear, and so many channels! All Orcs: OoooOOOh! Pippin: ... I thought once we turned the tele on, we'd bolt! Merry: ... So did I. Can't... Stop... Watching... ~ Aesthete |
When you're caught with your fist punched through the nest in question it's a little hard to deny killing those pesky birds on your neighbor's property...
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After running all day the line to the portable bathroom was extremely long!
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Merry: Perhaps playing Cops and Robbers with the Uruk-hai was a bad idea...
OR Pippin: What's for dinner? Uruk-hai: *licks their lips* Pippin: Ohh.... |
Merry: "This reminds me of that other scary thing that happened when I was a lad - when Lobelia asked me to hold a new hank of wool for her while she wound it into a ball."
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A new episode of Hobbits Holiday's From Hell
or 'How did we get roped into this one then Pippin?' |
Merry: I told you eating the food the orcs gave us would be a bad idea
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Spiderman suddenly appears in Middle Earth:
Merry: "But we're not the bad guys; why are you tying us up?" Pippin: "I don't think he's listening." |
Merry began to wonder if the "charm bracelet" that Galadriel had given him was perhaps less of a gift & more of a tool to keep him from pilfering more from her lembas pantry.
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The Hobbits had very little success selling insurance door to door in Mordor.
OR Merry: Please, sir, I want some more! Sauron: But I've already given you 50 Orcs! |
Punishment for parking offences in the U.K.
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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
Merry and Pippin stole the cookies from Saruman's cookie jar. |
MERRY: It's all your fault Pippin! Why didn't you pull your weight? If we'd lynched Ugluk we could still have saved the village...but your refusal to contribute analysis...
PIPPIN: Aw, who cares, it's only a game anyway... |
Claiming to be a part of pee-wee's playhouse, Pippin and Merry try to use the 'secret word'...
Merry: Ah... I have new jogging shoes, Pippin, I better run! Pippin: That's sounds fun Merry, why don't we run for it together... Orcs: Don't worry, we'll make sure you don't cut and run! ~Aesthete |
Merry and Pippin realize too late that they've wandered into the Killing Club Meet, not the Grilling Club Meet.
OR Pippin: I don't think this is the All You Can Eat Buffet. Merry: Told you we should have asked for directions. |
Stealing from you, my friend...
Quote:
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Merry and Pip choked on their gum when they heard the orcs chant...
All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by all ablebodied patrons in the bar. And don't think we don't know how to weed them out!! |
The Hobbits were confused as to why their Christmas carol team wasn't attracting a crowd, and why most people were running away from them.
It was probably the fact that it was July. OR Pippin: Please sir, if you do not buy one of our Orcs, my brother here will go insane! *nudges Merry* Merry: Oh...right... erm... Wooo! |
Pippin: "Merry, can't you get us a new picture?"
Merry: "Sorry Pip, but my hands are kind've tied on this one..." :p yes, yes, I know you're waiting for it to get to the next page, Hookbill... yes, yes, I know Gurthang - "Bad puns abound" - you don't have to tell me :p |
Orc: Yarr! That'll teach you runts won't it?
Merry(meekly): Can I have some more rope? |
Quote:
Anyway... Merry and Pippin's magic show wasn't going so well when their tour came to Mordor! Pippin: And now... erm... the amazing Merry-o will escape from these ropes while suspended over a vat of boiling lava... as requested by Sauron. |
Duel of Doom.
Merry: "I'm sick and tired of this."
Pippin: "Don't worry. A new picture is on the way!" http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d7...ne/morgoth.jpg Morgoth: "I am the Hammer of Doom!" Fingolfin: "I am the trickster who steals the Hammer of Doom!" OR Fingolfin: "Ich bin ein Berliner!" Morgoth: "Yea! And I'm a jelly covered doughnut!" Fingolfin: "What I said was perfectly grammatical German!" Morgoth: "That's beside the point! Germany doesn't exist at this point in history!" |
Morgoth: I'm sorry, you must be this tall to enter Angband.
OR Morgoth: I'm sorry, you must be at least this dead to leave Middle Earth! Muhahaha! OR yet! After this, no one dared to try and sell double-glazing at Angband. |
Fingolin: Who invited Thor to the costume party?
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Tolkien's original dialogue
"I've stood on shards of glass bigger than you!"
"Oh yeah? Well I've killed beasts more handsome than you!" "Oh yeah? Well I crushed your father with my bare hands!" "Well......yo momma." "Oh no you didn't...." and so on... |
Despite being hopelessy badly coordinated Morgoth cannot resist Fingolfin's challenge that he pat his head and rub his tummy at the same time.....
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Of all the forms Morgoth could have chosen he choose to be an oversized orc!
or Fingolfin: *thinking* I know I cannot beat him in might but perhaps if I hold my sword in defiance just long enough he will succumb. |
For some reason Morgoth finds a Jerry Lee Lewis song playing in his mind.... :p
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Stone 1 : Arghh, I can't stand it; I really want to help him!
Stone 2 : Forget it Josti. We are inanimate objects, there is nothing you can do about it! |
Fingolfin: 'I am High King of the Noldor!'
Bouncer: 'For the last time - your name's not down - you're not comin' in!' |
World Cupish
Poor Fingolfin was about to get much more than just a headbutt for insulting Morgoth's mother & sister...
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Fingolfin: I am Arthur, King of the Britons...
Morgoth: No, you're Fingolfin. Fingolfin: A duck! Morgoth: Yes, you are a quack. OR Fingolfin: The Pen is mightier than the Sword! But, I have no pen. Now, if I had paper, I could paper cut him to death. But then, who is to say he does not have some secret army of scissors at his dispo...*squash* |
Morgoth is teaching Fingolfin that it is unpolite to point at someone with a sword, even if it is very shiny. . .
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Monty Python Strikes Again!! Mwhahaha!!!
Morgoth: Stop. Who would cross the Plain of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the Mountain he see.
Fingolfin: Oh fine, ask the questions. Morgoth: What is your name? Fingolfin: Fingolfin, High King of the Noldor Morgoth: What is your quest? Fingolfin: To slay the Dark Lord Morgoth. Morgoth: What...is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? Fingolfin: I...what? *squish* OR Morgoth: I am a knight who says "Ni!" Fingolfin: And what a mighty knee you have!! OR EVEN Fingolfin: But you have no arms!! Morgoth: What in MY name are you talking about!? I still have arms!!! Fingolfin: So you do... My bad. |
Morgoth: For the last time, it's not a skirt! :mad:
OR Fingolfin: *Looks at the small door behind Morgoth* Wait. How did you fit through that? Morgoth: You don't want to know! |
At the Beleriand Costume Ball Fingolfin says to Morgoth: You don't look anything like a Balrog, where's your wings?
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Morgoth: So you started this cursed thread ! :mad:
Fingolfin: What! I thought you did. . . . In this moment Morgoth and Fingolfin discoverd that there was no reason for them to fight and became the best of friends. All anger was now directed towards Hookbill The Goomba ! ( I know it should say Robin Headstrong, but by now I think Hookbill has a greater claim to this thread :p ) |
(rather inspired by CoD)
Morgoth was a notorious cheat at 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'. Fingolfin: Wait, there's no mention of a hammer nooo arrrrrrrghhh Or... Christian faces down Apollyon. Or... Fingolfin: I will face you down you evil...oh my, what spikey shinguards you have... Morgoth: All the better to squish you with! Or... The Middle-earthian version of the statue of Liberty went horribly wrong. Or... Fingolfin: I'm Lord Fingolfin, savvy? Or... Morgoth: You green-blooded, pointy-eared Vulcan! (Look at Fingy's left knee...) Or... Fingolfin's hair wasn't white until he faced down the giant, blackened, spiky Lord of Evil. |
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