As they make their way to Mt. Doom, Frodo and Sam simultaneously step on one of the Nazghul's fell beasts droppings.

Sam: shutupshutupshutupshutup

Fro: Waaaa!

Frodo: Sam, I feel like we're being followed.

Sam: Nonsense Mr. Frodo. Only Gollum would find us out here.

Frodo: It's not fair, I wanted a red shirt and they said they didn't have any.

Sam: I've looked all the way through the book and there is no mention of you not wearing a red shirt Mr Frodo.

Frodo: Do you think if I ask nicely that jolly fat hairy fellow will let me wear one?

Sam: That's a good idea Mr Frodo, then all those stupid people who haven't read our book will be able to tell us apart.

Frodo: They can do that already I'm the young good looking one.

Sam: Hey me also, Snap.

Frodo: PROPS!, can someone put the mirrors back in Sams accommodation.

Sam: Yep, what Pippin told you is true, I got the papers right here. 3 months prison and 8000$ for filesharing.
Frodo: We have to destroy the PC and go to Mexico
Sam: But the only place we can destroy it is Mount Doom!
Frodo: Not again...

Frodo and Sam are a little unnerved by Mordor Fashion.

Frodo: Red and Black coats? Weird!

OR

Sam: Come on doggy, let's go for a walk!

Frodo: I hate to tell you this, Sam, but your dog is dead. In fact, he's been dead for a while. Two years at least.

Frodo: Are you sure about stealing the script...
Sam: Look, do you want double more screen time than Aragorn or not? Now quick, cover me while I tear out the coronation scene.

Kudos to whoever guesses the song & artist in this caption...

Frodo: "Sam, I don't understand your obsession with 'trying to find your place' in that diary you're holding..."

It's Breaking Benjamin's "Diary of Jane", Tore. And I don't recall a lady named "Jane" in LotR. ;)

Unless it's the Diary of Bilbo...that would be an odd song.



Sam: Is he still behind us?

Fro: *whimper* Yes...

Gandalf: THERE YOU TWO ARE! Now watch while I...

Fro & Sam: NOOOOOO!!

Sam: we travel half way around the world, meet all kinds of danger and risk our necks to save this world and all we get is this envelope full of bills... bloody beurocrats

The Hobbits know something isn't quite right...

Frodo: This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife!

*Photographic proof that ME exists in the real world.*

OR

*Two friends, James playing as Frodo and Tom playing as Sam are understandably bewildered and peeved at being rescued by the local mountain search and rescue team, especially when their game was getting to the good bit. The bit where they throw the Ring into Mount Doom.*

Frodo: Sam, I know you are angry after what you saw in the Mirror of Galadriel, but do you think blackmailing Ted Sandyman is a good idea?

OR

Frodo and Sam are escorted to the jails of Barad-dur after an unsuccesful attempt to bring the Ring to Mordor.
Frodo: Oh my dear Sam, I am sorry, I am sorry to have ever brought you to this terrible place.
Sam: It's not your fault, Mr.Frodo.
Frodo: But now we'll have both to suffer the terrible torment from the Enemy for trying to keep his Ring.
Sam: Excuse me, Mr.Frodo, but I think there are worse things than having to write million times "I will not steal other peoples' rings".

OR

Frodo: Where are you going, Sam? We are to wait for Gandalf until we leave Rivendell.
Sam: Excuse me, Mr. Frodo, but from what I heard on the Council bringing the Ring right to Mordor seems a great risk. So for starters, I'll just nail these 95 theses to the Black Gate and we'll see what the Enemy is going to do about it.

As Sam came to front of the lengthy queue for the one and only Mount Doom portaloo, Frodo realised with dismay that he was taking a newspaper in there with him.

Frodo: Sam, you're never going to get away with wrapping Lembas in newspaper!!!

Lord of the Holy Grail
 

Frodo: "Sam I just want a look at that magazine."

Sam: "No! It is too perilous."

Sam: Uh oh, Mr. Frodo! Don't look now, but I think we're being followed!
Frodo: Uh, Sam.... That's the camera man. He's supposed to do that.
Sam: Oh....
or
Frodo: I'm getting the feeling.... that someone wants to sell me something!!

Sam was still steamed about the bookstore clerk calling him and Frodo "shrimps."

Frodo gives Sam a sneaky wedgie as he's desperate to grab that copy of The Downer and read the latest exploits of The Phantom and Alien.

Sam and Frodo decide just walking into Mordor is too difficult as traveling hobbits, instead they disguise the ring and go for the dense and uncompromising telephone book salesman approach.

Frodo: So how is this going to work again, we just -

Sam: Exactly, we just say we're handing out redbook and even if they don't want it, we throw it in anyways and just walk off.

Frodo: Do you really think they'll go for it?

Sam: Why not? It works for yellowbook...

~ Ka

It's time, gentlemen, please, for a new picture
 

In a rush to the line dance, Sam and Frodo get caught up in a different musical number. . . .


http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64...andFrodo1a.jpg

Sam: "Not now, Frodo. Rosie's watching."

Frodo: Hide me! Bilbo wants to sing a duet!

Sam: Pfft. Trust Frodo to stand on the only section of quick sand in all of Hobbiton. :rolleyes:

OR

Frodo: All these people! Why are they here?

Sam: You invited them, Mr Frodo.

Frodo: Oh...

Sam: "Oh No! Rosie's here! I wish I'd not worn my novelty Mr Frodo backpack now, she'll think I'm a nerdy Tolkien fan!"

Frodo: No, Bilbo, he seems clear. He hasn't got it either.
Sam: I'm telling you Mr.Frodo, I don't have the Ring! I don't know where it's gone!
Rosie: Ah, ha ha, sweet fools.

Secrets of Middle-earth #3,462

Frodo was already nine-fingered long before his tussle with Gollum, owing to a misunderstanding following a surprise tickling incident with Samwise.

Sam was innocently minding his own business when suddenly the villainous Tie Snatcher struck from behind!

Frodo: All right Sam, you can go through.

Sam: Stupid airport security.

here it goes again...
 

Frodo: hidem e sam! for the grey one named Gandalf is using his cloak with an un at beginning and an ing at the end!

Sam: Ingcloakun?

Sam: who are you and why are you grabbing my arm

Frodo was kind enough to help in setting up the "Greatest Gardeners of the Shire" wax works display at the Mathom House.

-or-

Frodo, embarrassed when Sam recounts the tale of carrying him up Mount Doom, attempts to prove he's even stronger.

Sam: Mr. Frodo, I don't know what you are trying to grab here, but Rosie is over there!

Sam: Mr. Frodo, this was not what Mr. Bilbo meant when he said "Grab a burger..."

(music stops dead)

Gandalf: Well, that's it. I've had it up to HERE with these naughty suggestive captions! For Eru's sake, if you wanted raunchiness, here I'll start uncloaki-

Everyone: No! Sorry sir!

Frodo: I want my mommy!!!

Sam: I am not your mommy. Go away.

Sam: So you ARE the one who TPed the Sackville-Baggins' back yard. I'll betcha didn't know they were members of the NRA, huh?

F: Shut up and hide me. Lobellia's out for blood.

To return to a fvourite theme of mine....
 

Once again they got the scale wrong ....

Or

The Gamgees early experiments in growing GM food had some unwanted side effects...

Sam is getting fed up with Frodo's idea of playing 'real life chess'.... He was a rook and wanted to be a knight.

Frodo: May I take your coat, sir?

"Of the various burglarious proceedings he had heard of, picking Sam's pockets seemed the least difficult, so at last he crept just behind him..."