Urukan Opener
 

Uruk: Move aside I'm hungry and I'm the only one with a can opener, so I get the best giblets.

Don't Stop Me Now
 

The zombies just kept on coming even though Shaun had embedded most of Ed's collection of Dire Straits LPs in their skulls.

Orc leader looks towards nearby Rohirrim:"Omg, they killed Lurtz!"
Another orc: "You ba****ds!"

OR

Orc: What happened?
Other Orc: He fainted after seeing Legolas.

Our camera shows you the South Stand here at Pittodrie, where today the Rangers fans are visiting.

or

The Orcs found the One Ring, but then Steve dropped it down a drain.


*(Hookbill, Steve the calamitous orc could be a Downer favourite)*

Uruk: That's the last time Steve uncloaks!

Brian the Uruk: "That's the last time Steve says me 'elmet looks like it's got an ice cream wafer stuck on top of it!"

Never fool about when on a balcony—just look what happened to Steve.

"I fell into a Burning Ring of Fire. I went down, down, down, and the flames went higher. And it burns, burnsssssss...aaaaarrrghhh!"

Steve took his Johnny Cash routine too far.

Ramone the Uruk: Steve! Noo! He's dead! Oh Steve, Steve...hey! Those are MY pants!

After performing an amazing song and dance routine about the way Saruman's belly button hair was the greatest in history, the Uruk leaps into a pit.

Uruk 1: That was great! Encore!

Uruk 2: (looking down) Euh, guys? I don't think he'll be doing no encores . . .

The Uruks discover the meaning of the phrase "Those who live by the sword...get shot by those who don't."

The reason the assault on Helms deep was delayed until nightfall?
It was unfortunate that the best Uruks were also the laziest.

Uruk1: Come on, Jim, we have to break down the door!

Jim the Uruk: No... Five more minutes... *snore*

Steve: "I'm not dead."
"I'm getting better."
"I don't want to go on the cart."
"I feel fine."
"I feel happy!"

Drugs were rampant in Isengard...

Uruk: Man... Have you ever felt how weird this rock is? ... Woooww. So... Stony.

Uruk2: Hmm... Not the only one.

Uruk: "Art! Why did it have to be art?"

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d7...the_Rescue.jpg

Gandalf: "It's about time you rescued me!"

Gandalf: Stop trying to steal my wallet!

Eagle: ...give us a kiss...
Gandalf: C'mon...it's 5:30! I'm sleeping!

Gandalf: You feather-brained miscreant! I had it all under control!

Gwahir: Weren't you casting some sort of ice spell?

Gandalf: Er...

Me: Alright, just so everyone knows, NO uncloaking jokes, or else I'll negative-rep you into oblivion!

Just wanted to make that clear. . . :smokin:

Gandalf soon realised he couldn't hide anywhere from the Eagle Loan Sharks.

OR

Famous last words...

Gandalf: I say, Gwihir, have you put on weight?

Glad to see that I am not the only one sick of uncloaking jokes
 

There was a risk of burned feathers, but the eagles loved a roasted dinner/supper/tea

ME is modern...
What took you so long? Didn't you get my SMS?
Sorry, I was chatting...

That moment in evolutionary history when pterodactyls became birds.

OR

A philogological conundrum explained: the confusion over the Greek πτερόσαυρος, pterosauros, meaning "winged lizard". Some errant scribes had inadvertently written "wizard" instead of "lizard."

After receiving the incriminating photos from her undercover aid, DCI Lalwende sends in her S.E.A.T. (Special Eagles and Tactics unit) to bring Gandalf the Grey's reign of uncloaking to an end.

(I swear this is the last one...I even said it's coming to an end :rolleyes: :p )

Gandalf was getting forgetful in his old age.

Gando: Thanks for saving me, Mr Eagle. Now we need to save the... erm... Who are the...? Erm... Oh, It'll come back to me, lets get back...

Bilbo: :eek:

Caution: Flammable..
 

Eagles: "Should we get the rest of the dwarves now?"

Gandalf: "No! They're the ones that caused all this by lighting up in a non-smoking forest!"

No smoking: punishment will be severe.

The Birds

"Now we have caught the sneaky thief who keeps raiding the bird table! Let's throw him on the barbecue for his sins!"


OR


The new series of Springwatch comes to an abrupt end when the birds finally take revenge on Bill Oddie for spying on their most intimate moments...

Gandalf: Don't you know who I am, bird?

Gandalf: I have a bad feeling about this drop. There are Vietcong troops hiding in the trees!

"And they've....they've already unleashed the napalm! Aaaargh!"



OR



Gwaihir: "That's the very last time you will insult us with that old 'Rats with wings' line, old fool!"

It is a little known fact that they did actually try to use the Eagles to destroy the Ring... but it went a bit wrong...

Gandalf: You stupid bird! You're going the complete wrong way! This isn't Mordor!

Eagle: Mordor? Wait... Is that the place with the water?

Gandalf: No! It's with the fiery mountain and black lands!

Eagle: Pfft! You're a funny guy, Gandalf. I don't want to go there. Lets go this way...

Gandalf: No!!!

The Eagles attempts at putting out the forest fire by dropping large bags of fluid on it nearly proved fatal



or.




Gwaihir: I've told you before Landroval, the meat will burn if you put it too close to the B-B-Q.












.

I keep telling you, I'm not Gandalf, stupid bird! Petrificus totalus darn it!

"The Dwarves? Uh...they already escaped. Yeah, let's get out of here."

or

The Wargs latest plan to capture Gandalf was genius – disguise themselves as eagles.

Gandalf: "How dare you say I overact?"

Gwaihir: Trying to impress the ZZ Top guys with this show? How many times do I have to tell you that it does not work.

Eagle: Eh, you'll never guess who I had in the back of my eerie the other day...

Gandalf: *Groan*

OR

Gwihir prepares his 'I swear, the Wizard was THIS BIG' comment for when he gets back...

Gandalf: "Have you birds been on the Vole Curry again? That burp nearly blew my hat off!"

Gandalf: *Sigh*, so much for frequent flyer miles...

Gwaihir: Pfft, hey, don't pull that one on me Gando-Mileage Run, I don't see you pulling a move to your wallet anytime soon...

~ No wings attached Ka