Having smoked everything in his house (including the chairs), Bilbo moved on to the outside...

Bilbo tried to conceal it, but when he belched it was revealed that it was him who had eaten the blue Istari.

http://www.theargonath.cc/stuff/fotrobservation61.jpg

Gandalf's drinking problem was the decisive factor that ment he did not get the job as "The Marlboro Man"

or

Gandalf got the very silly idea to conceal his ridiculous huge nose with a very small cup.

While no one was looking, Gandalf tried to shove a miniature footstool up his nose.

OR

Gandalf: The next train to depart from platform three will be the eighteen thirty seven service to Birmingham Central calling at; Gathurst, Leeds, Glasgow and wherever the heck the driver feels like.

Addictions? Wizards have no addictions. We can stop precisely when we wish to.

Celebrity News
 

When Pallando the Blue uncloaked, paparazzi captured this image of Gandalf indulging in three social scandals at once: weed, alcohol, and voyeurism.


OR:



Gandalf's thought: "I bet me uncloaking with Pallando would be just the trick to make the front page."

Stupid Hobbit pints...

Who?
 

Gandalf simply didn't believe in handkerchiefs.

MallornCard Ad:
 

A pint of bitter: $2
Pipe: $270
Mental preparation for uncloaking before the Council of Elrond: Priceless

The Fellowship: Gandalf! Gandalf? Where are you, Gandalf? Help us, Gandalf! Gandalf, we need you!

Gandalf: Gandalf, Gandalf, Gandalf. Can't get even get a moment to relax before they start screaming my name. What is they want this time? I mean, who on Middle-earth do they think I am....some sort of wizard?


Oh...wait...

Only too late did Gandalf realise that, as payback, Merry and Pippin had swapped his pint with the washing up liquid.

It was this picture that stopped Gandalf from ever being allowed to drive the Van.

OR

It was only a second before Gandalf realised someone had set his back on fire.

Pippin waited in anxiety: Gandalf had threatened to poke him with a stick if his cappucino wasn't delicious.

Gandlaf glances sideways to see if anyone is looking at him, so he can sneak an extra pint.

or

A second before Gandalf realised he'd been poisoned- his beer was made of fermented garlic.

A proper fourteen-twenty? Is that in Gondorion years or by Shire reckoning? Bloody mortals, can't keep their calendars straight!

Gandalf cared very much about his looks and at Bilbo's party it caused him to think:
"Maybe if I attach this cup to my face. they won't notice how ridiculus my beard looks"

Gandalf thought to himself, "I've never heard a death metal drinking song before."

Pippin: They said they're replacing you.

Gandalf: Is that what they say?


Legolas: Here they come!

Boromir: Okay, shoot anything that moves and is ugly . . . except Gimli.

Guarding the stairway to Heaven was a tough job.

OR

Legolas: Let's hope these arrows from Rivendel can... Wait a moment... "Made in China"? :eek:

Ah, Ninecompanions...
 

Gimli: Legolas! Frodo is surrounded by orcs and is in peril!

Legolas: Do not worry. The halfling will tell no secrets to the enemy.

Or...

Of the worst times to be abducted by aliens, this situation is number seventeen on our countdown.

Or...

Gimli: Beam me up, Mahal!

Or...

All: Gimli! Don't go into the light!!

The space-aliens' subtle decoy worked to perfection, and Gimli was easily abducted.

Ha! Snap, Oddwen. :cool:

Or as we say in my family, "owe me a coke". :D

I'll expect a lump of it in my stocking this Christmas.

.....

Boromir: Okay, I um, seem to have lost my sword...I'll just...hide behind...my shield....for the rest of the journey...yes.

Printers, scanners, photocopiers?
 

Boromir: Gandalf's fighting the Balrog, shouldn't we help him?

Legolas: We can't. Only someone from the First Age can fight someone from the First Age.

Gimli: But weren't you in Gondolin?!

Legolas: Oh, c'mon, BoLT ain't canon.

Legolas: ''Now to kill Gandalf, and end this madness...er...I mean, of course, kill the Orc. Yeees, the Orc... *shifts eyes*

Finaly Legolas got a chance to prove that he was an exelent marxman even with a dwarf attached to his bow.

or

Legolas was the first elf ever to fall asleep in the middle of a battle.

Boromir: Oh no! Muppet fans!

Legolas: Quick, Gimli, hide yourself!

Legolas to Boromir: The little twerp, I'm gonna kill him someday!

Boromir: Well you do have a bow and some arrows...

Legolas: Yeah, but Gandalf would turn me into a frog if I killed him.

Gimli: Huh, what was that?

Gimli: Kill those orcs! Woops, was that Legolas's head?

Gimli was disappointed that no one saw his dramatic entrance with lights and lazars. :(

OR

While Legolas stood guard, Boromir stole the wheels from a cart...

It was a sad moment to notice that Gimli had some distant troll ancestry and that the troll-blood reacted to strong concentrated light.

Legolas, highly annoyed at the lack of quality dialogue for his character in the movie, aims vindictively at the quote button to the bottom right of the page, thus ensuring no quotes from anyone whatsoever.

Gimli prepares to climb a small rope while no one is looking...

Legolas gets his nose stuck in his bow.

Everyone wondered why Logolas hadn't taken his shot yet... He'd been dead for three minutes.

Gimli: Well, at least his conversation will be better now.

Gimli: When you offered to get me a box to stand on, I didn't think you were a raving boxopath!

Legolas: Just keep standing on it. Or else.

Gimli: Yeah, sorry to be so abrupt with this but I'm beaming out. See you losers later.

Legolas: *snooze*

Boromir: I hope no one discovers that 'loose pounds with Boromir the Dicso King' video...

Gimli: Hey! Listen to me when I'm belittling you!

~ Ka

Gimli: Legolas? That's a mime.

Legolas (thinks): I hate mimes.

The ability to balance his shoulder-dwarf while shooting was a key element to Legolas's fame as an archer.