Grima and Theoden just read mormegil's most recent post in CC

or

Gimli and Legolas perform a moving ballet duet

(Hookbill if you could photoshop Gimli in a pink tutu, that would be great)

or

Bernard and Brad just got done watching the 'Arwen scenes' from the movie.

or...

Bernanrd and Brad just watched the Faramir scene...

PJ: So guys, what do you think of my artistic lisence?

Theoden: "Could I borrow some of your Just For Men?"

Theoden: Okay, here's the plan. We get Gollum,
dig up Thorin Oakenshield and start a
Grateful Dead Reunion Tour.

Grima: I like it, boss. We'll be headliners at
the Minas Tirith Bowl! Right in front of that dead tree.

Theoden is mad because he can't see a new picture!

http://www.theargonath.cc/characters...res/bilbo7.jpg

Bilbo Jones's Diary - The Edge of Wilderland.

Weight: 135lbs
Smokes: 7 pipes of Longbottom Leaf
Alcohol: 8 pints
Calories: 3,472

Cannot believe I am sitting in the Rivendell garden again. Frodo still not turned up. Gandalf not written. When is Elrond going to stop all that tra-la-lallying? So embarrassing...

Bilbo attempts to hide from the Elves the fact that he, despite his complaints, actually likes reading "Tra-la-la-lally Monthly"...

OR

After Gandalf makes his seventh 'short' joke of the day, Bilbo moves him up in the 'To Kill' list.

Bilbo consults Ye Big Book Of Rhyme to find something racier than 'valley' to rhyme with ruddy Tra-la-la-lally.

Bilbo tries to remember what he wrote in his book

or

Bilbo: Who's that man on the left? *Narrows eyes*

Bilbo realises that, in a drunken stupor, he had drawn rather unflattering pictures of the Dwarves wearing swim suits. "My psychiatrist is going to have a feild day" he thought...

OR

Doing Elrond's Tax returns was tiresome;

Bilbo: For the last time! Shampoo is NOT tax deductible! It is not a 'work expense'!

Elrond: YES IT IS!

Bilbo was a bit disappointed that Elrond had furnished him with an Elf-sized notebook and an Ent-sized pencil.

Bilbo was an inventer of sorts, here he has just completed Ardas biggest mousetrap ever!

or

Bilbo was not amused when the flesh eating book ate his arm

or

Bilbo just discovered the new entrance to Narnia

Lord of the Wrongs.net
 

For the umpteenth time Bilbo rewrites The Rid Book of Wastemuch, in the vain attempt to make it fit Peter Jacksons storyline.

Someone didn't read the rules.
 

Bilbo: Just...three more pages then...my Paper Telephone sentence will be finished...

Bilbo (reading): "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." Wait a minute.....

*Bilbo begins to doubt the privacy of Bag End*

Bilbo unconsciously practices his Vulcan hand signal while he reads his Star Trek 1392 Annual.

Or
 

Bilbo reads for the very first time, his new autobiography. Lots of things crossed out and new lines in pencil can only mean, this is the script for the two films about his life, to be called The Hobbit, There or Thereabouts, and The The Quest of Errormore.

(Who reads, understand)
 

The senility slowly takes its toll. Is the attempt to finish writing the memoirs going to be succesful?
"...and so he appeared amidst the surprised Dwarves. 'Ash is a robot!' they shouted..."

When I see this I'm reminded of something Hookbill said: "Hitler didn't read. Are you Hitler?" Obviously Bilbo is trying extra hard not too. ;)

Bilbo discovers the Big Book of Secrets Elrond has been hiding. Balrog's have wings? I would never have guessed.

or...

Bilbo's final journey...raiding Arwen's room and stealing her diary.

Bilbo appears as an aged John McCain at the Sarah Palin Daughters of the Alaskan Independence Day Disco Ball Dance.

Secrets of Middle-earth No. 521

The pages from the Book of Mazarbul were inserted into the Red Book of Westmarch to replace a few grimy, well-thumbed pages torn from the underwear section of the Autumn/Winter 3011 edition of the Gap of Rohan catalogue.

Bilbo: Writing utensil, check.
Something to write on, check.
Some sort of adventure to turn into a story? Umm... Not check...

As Bilbo spots a nice shower curtain for only £14.99, he reflects on how you could tell Elrond was pretentious because he kept his Argos catalogue in a faux leather binder.

And her pashmina.....

Bilbo: "I don't know how many times I've read this story by Tolkien but I could do with something new from the library."

New pic time!

http://www.theargonath.cc/pictures/m...rypippin17.jpg

As they are banished to the kitchen to do the washing up and the steam makes their make up run, Merry and Pippin reflect on how coming to the party as the black and white minstrels didn't go down too well.

Merry: 'Ya, sir, we're here with the coal. Where should we put it, sir?

OR

"Sorry for interrupting your little party, guys, but could any of you help me? It won't take long, I hope. My car just broke up there on the road and I need somebody help me to fix it."

Merry: Urm... Pippin... Did you use that bottle we stole from Gandalf to wash those dishes?

Pippin: Um... Why do you ask?

Merry: It's just... The dishes seem to be floating and talking to one another.

Pippin: What, again?

Gandalf: I give you full marks for bravery, Peregrin Took. Don't make yourself to be a fool.

Pippin: Ah, but how will you capture us? We know the secrets of the fire swamp. We can live there quite happily for some time, so whenever you feel like DYING, feel free to visit.

Merry: Huh?

Merry realises with dawning horror that Frodo has been playing tricks swapping his toiletries with black soap from the joke shop again.

Merry: "So tell me again why we're chimneysweeps
when there aren't any chimneys in the Shire."

Pippin: "Dick van Dyke said it would be a good way
to get into Hollywood movies since our accents just
aren't as realistic as his."

Mary Poppins!
 

Rejects from tryouts for the role of 'Bert' were given spots on the dish team in the kitchen instead.


*Thought that when I read it & then scrolled down to see Tuor already hit upon the Poppins them :eek: Oh well*

As Pippin talks to the tiny goblin living in the jug, Merry calls for a Doctor*.

OR

Merry watches as Gandalf's hat floats away...

*Probably Colin Baker

Halfway through the night shift, and only one more incident with the boss away from being fired, Merry remembers that he forgot to turn off his oven.

"I don't feel well after that last explosion", said Merry to Pippin.
"Well, to tell you the truth Merry, you do look a bit light-headed", replied his friend.

Secrets of Middle-earth No.72.5

The original reason Gandalf was interested in Hobbits was because Elrond had run out of small children to send up his sooty chimneys.

:D Old school Who, ahoy!

Merry is practicing for his big recital while Pippin slaves away at the dishes.

Pippin: Oi, la Carlotta! I could use a little help here!
Merry: I'm warming up my voice!

Merry: Oh poor Pippin... Don't look now but here's another dinner rush and they've got coupons!

Pippin: Say that again and this mug is going straight up your tush.

or....


Pippin could only sigh as the encroaching mass of impatient and hungry dinner rush hobbits slowly decended on Merry's first night on the job.

or....

Merry: "It's the hard knock life, for us..."

Gandalf: Quite down over there! I asked for drudgery, not a musical!

~ Ka

Merry sings: " Cause I'm filthy! Ooh, and you're gorgeous!"

Pippin: "Shurrup! You're tone deaf! Time for a new pic!"

http://www.theargonath.cc/pictures/m...miscrotk13.jpg

Secrets of Middle-earth No.172

The real reason Smeagol wanted the Ring was so that he could be in The Jonas Brothers like his cousin Deagol.

Deagol: Hmm... It looks like there's something written on the side here. This would be a whole lot easier if I wasn't cross-eyed!

Smeagol: Chocolate ring, yumm.