Boromir: I want that new caption torn down from the walls immediately!

http://tolkienilu.chez-alice.fr/film/ttt/2.jpg

Now playing: "Aragorn the demon barber of Helm's Deep"

Aragorn: Stay still a second, I need to clean your teeth with this new dental instrument.

Having problems feeding your toddler?
Aragorn: Here comes the aeroplane zooooooooooooooom.... Come on..... you cannot grow any bigger if you don’t eat your peas.

Aragorn Uses Western Union
 

Aragorn: "I will stab at the gap between your helmet and your body armor!"

Aragorn: "Take it back! Arwen is not my cousin!"

Seriously, what is that one Uruk doing in the background. A battle is raging and he's just standing around enjoying the view.

A union man. He's on overtime. ;)

Aragorn: "What do you mean you want to lead? I am the better dancer!"

I'll cut your heart out with a spoon...I mean a knife.

Aragorn replaces the last rib into his life-size Uruk Jigsaw.

Aragorn foolishly decided to make his stand on the part of Helms Deep made of quick sand.

or

Aragorn was about to realise that his knife had been replaced by a odd shaped banana.

He's looking at the new picture of course. :p

http://www.geocities.com/khallandra/...troll2_lrg.jpg

Troll: *roars* Eat your vegetables!

Troll: Wow! Is that an Elf Blade 2000? I've ALWAYS wanted one of them!

OR

Troll: I got something stuck in this tooth, could you get it? I think it's a bit of your friend.

Sam: :eek:

Troll: Oh I do say, aren't you that young fellow from The Goonies?

There is mediaeval painting in the National Gallery which has a woodcutter continuing to chop a tree down despite a massacre/martyrdom going on in the clearing... "I didn't see anything I was felling my tree.... "

Anyway to plagiarise PG Wodehouse

It is never difficult to distinguish between a cave-troll with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

Troll: Boo!

Or...

Sam: Oh funny, really funny Gandalf. I can see the strings you know!

Sam is wearing a particularly offensive T-Shirt.

It reads Hookbill is 4

Arwen: Boys. Always trying to be the alpha-male *sigh*

or

Sam: roar!
Cave troll: ROOOAAARRR!!!

or

The staring contest went on for hours.

Cave troll: "What do you mean, I'm not supposed to be in this scene??!" ;)

Arwen forgot to wear her make-up.

"No, YOOUUR mom!!!"

:D:D:D

Sam learned to knock before entering after this little incident.

Smeagol had really let himself go over the last few years and had gained some unwanted pounds.

or

They are just as scared of you as your scared of them.

Troll: Eeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Sam: You're fired.

"You ate the last KLONDIKE BAR!!!"

Sam pondering at his reflection in the mirror the day after being served beer 'in pints' in Bree...

Troll: Bring me a new picture now!

http://www.ghostinthemachine.net/saruman.jpg

Saruman being kicked out of the Wizard's Association decides to spend his free time by joining the Arda Bowling League.

This is very uncommon knowledge but the Istari often played keepsie on their marble games. Saruman just got a prize marble from Gandalf.

S: Ha! My magic-8 ball says "Yes!" What say you to that, Gandalf the Grey?

Saruman tries to turn the palantir yellow through the sheer force of his will.

or

Saruman: "No"! Not "no"! Stupid 8-ball. Grima is my friend!

or

Saruman applies make-up with his new mirror

or

Saruman: [to himself] Do I have something in my teeth?

or

Saruman tries to get fire to come out of his nostrils.

Saruman's 'war face' still needed work.

Saruman takes a look into Edoras' closed practices to give Isengard an advantage in the 2010 Arda Cup. :p

Saruman was starting to regret not using that hand-pimple cream. :eek:

Saruman learns of Sauron's betrayal of their pact when he sees an orc moon line (a-la Braveheart) in the Palantir.

Saruman: "Palantir, Palantir in my hand: Who is the fairest in the land?"

Palantir: I am!

Saruman: ... um... Where did I leave the receipt for this thing?

Saruman : I should have gone for the iphone....

Middle-Earth Bowling Championship Final:

Saruman: Com'on, I need that strike, now!