Palantir: Warning, can not compute. Can not compute! Self destruct in 3 seconds.

Saruman's elation soon turned into fierce anger when he realized that the street vendor sold him a fake palantir.

Or

Saruman's is angered when the only thing he sees from his palantir is Gandalf the Gray....uncloaking :rolleyes:

Saruman: I knew when Gandalf said he'd commandeered the Palantir network for 'something important' it would be THIS.

OR

After putting his hand out to check for rain, Saurman soon realised that these hail stones were going to land him in hospital in three... two... one...

Saruman is about to lose to Sauron in a Staring-out Competition.

Sauron: Mordor Pizza delivery, how can I help you?

Saruman: MY CAVE TROLL PIZZA WAS FIVE HOURS LATE! AND IT HAD TEETH MARKS IN IT! I DEMAND A REFUND.

Sauron: Hold on, I'll get the manager. Please hold.

*five hours of monotonous hold music later*

Sauron: Hey, turns out I AM the manager. How can I help?

Repeat to infinity...

(Dial tone) Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep-booooooop-beeeeeeeeeeep-brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr -de –de-de -beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep -brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr -vrum -vrum -vrum -beeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Saruman hated his palantir dial up connection.

Saruman was enraged when he removed his gift from Santa from his stocking - yet another lump of coal.

Saruman: Palantir! I command ye to reveal the next picture!

http://www.warofthering.net/quintess...iel_mirror.jpg

Galadriel: I know what it is you see, for it is also on my mind...

Frodo: Yes, well you can't deny you burnt the pizza, it's still smoldering

Galadriel finds out that you can't destroy the evidence of killing your husband by B.B.Q.

When Galadriel recites 'Mirror ,Mirror not so tall, what is cooking to consume for all. Frodo finds it difficult to imagime Half-baked Halfling.

Galadriel: 'Do not touch the water! It is time for my exfoliative rinse.'

Galadriel's Lament
 

Galadriel: Will you look into my pensieve?

Frodo: Umm...Lady Galadriel are you sure you are thinking of the right movie?

Galadriel: I don't know why I didn't get the part of Dumbledore. I am much hotter than the one they gave it too!

I've won an Oscar...I've played Queen Elizabeth I on two occasions...how in the heck did I end up serving hungry hobbits at a Middle-earth greasy spoon?

Galadriel was uncertain if the ring had been entrusted to the right person when Frodo thought her mirror was for pipe weed smoking.

Frodo: No! No! Frying spoilss nice fissh *gollum*
Galadriel: [thinking] what an inferior life-form...

Lothlorien's air conditioners didn't work too well...

OR

Galadriel: I don't know what you did, Frodo, but you're going to have to buy me a new mirror.

Galadriel: Who put potassium in my mirror?
Frodo: Potassium, what's potassium? Do we even have that sort of knowledge in Middle-Earth?
Galadriel: Wait, what?

or

Frodo and Galadriel mourn over the loss of a burnt piece of lembas.

Frodo: So this is where Gandalf keeps his fireworks for the rest of the time!

Smoke on the Water.

Hobbit Magic
 

Frodo: "Alakazam and . . . POOF! Your dollar is gone! There! That's real magic."

Galadriel: "Ahhh. So 'magic' is another name for thievery. Gimme back my buck."

Fireworks Letdown in Lothlorien
 

Frodo: "That's it?"

Galadriel: "It's a smoke bomb."

Frodo: "Yeah but that's it??"

Galadriel: "It was 'The Mighty Exploding Smoke Screen Bomb of Doom*,' the largest one they had there."

Frodo: "The smoke wasn't even colored!!"



*Isn't it funny how they come up with some of the most ridiculous & over-the-top sounding names you could ever imagine for fireworks? And often times small ones that don't even do anything...

Galadriel: What do you see?

Frodo: A new pic!

http://sean.mythicdesigns.net/boromir4/boromir1.jpg

Uruk: Woah, watch where you're swinging that thing!

or...

Boro: I want to see you dance.

Uruk: Huh? :confused:

Boro: I said Dance!

Given his options, Pippin decided it was safer to go off & fight the statue in the background & leave Boromir to take on the Uruk.



Boro - the first thing I thought when I saw that picture was something along the lines of your "Dance!" caption - only you had posted & my idea was still taken!! :mad: :D

hehe my apologies. But you got a good caption, with all the attention being drawn to the Uruk and Boro's sword, I didn't even realize Pippin was in the picture. Good catch. ;)

Boromir's unique style of dentistry wasn't appreciated by all.

OR

Uruk: Hay, that Hobbit stole your wal- *dead*

Unbeknownst to Boro, Pippin had placed a 'Kick Me' sign on his back, and when the Uruk kicked him, he had enough.

Boromir distracts his foe with a masterful tactic: 'Your shoe's untied!'

Uruk: aaah! A spider! Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

Boromir: Just hold still! I'll get it.

FOUR SECONDS LATER:

Uruk: Thanks man, I hate spiders you know.

Boromir: Hey, don't worry. I have this irrational fear of arrows.

Uruk: You know, this whole experience has helped me deal with a lot of issues. Maybe I could do the same for you with your phobia?

Boromir: That doesn't sound dangerous at all!

Boromir: No, I am not happy to see you -- but yes, that was a sword in my pocket.

Uruk: Is that thing Sharpe?



Sorry couldn't avoid it




.

The uruk didn't realize the cost of telling a 'your momma' joke to Boromir.

Or

The uruk didn't realize the cost of telling a 'Gandalf uncloaking' joke to Boromir
(Even here I can get one of those in :p)

Middle Earth's Dancing With the Stars was cancelled after just one season.

The obvious lack of talent aside, it simply couldn't be ignored that every time a toe got stepped on, a casualty ensued.

Boromir: Are those wings on your back?
Ugluk: No! I'm not a Balrog!
Boromir: Balrogs don't have wings!
Ugluk: Yes they do!
Boromir: No they don't! How could it have fallen then?
Ugluk: Yes they did. How could it's wings spread from wall to wall?
Boromir: They were metaphorical!
Ugluk: No they weren't!
Boromir: Balrogs don't have wings!
Ugluk: Yes they do!
Boromir: *draws sword* *charges*

Pippin: *runs away* Does it really matter that much?

Uruk: Quick! Look at the new pic!

http://www.arandor.com/rivendell/ima...ramirfrodo.jpg

Frodo: Spare change?

Frodo: OUCH! I've got a splinter.

Faramir: You'll have to come to The Houses of Healing via Osgiliath to get that removed.

Sam, from somewhere near: By roights I don't think we should go near there Mr Frodo.

Faramir: 'Robin Hood? Never heard of 'em!'

Frodo: Look, Faramir, you can threaten all you like, but we're not stopping every time you see an injured insect.

OR

Faramir: Where did you get that gold coin?

Frodo: I found it.

Faramir: Why does it say 'Property of Boromir'?

Frodo: That's just silly. Boromir died.

Faramir: ... ... Did you steal from a dead body?

Frodo: ... um... *runs away*

Frodo: Owie! I have a boo boo!

Faramir: .......

Frodo: Waaaaaah! Kiss it, Faramir!

Faramir: ..........

Guy in the background: Walking away, doodley doo...

Yet another innocent bypasser falls victim to Faramirs terrible aim

Frodo owns up to stealing Faramir's pet stone