Those Rivendell elves boyfriends said they'd do WHAT
with this sword to Merry and Pippin just because they
got really friendly at Elrond's toga party!

All good things must come to an end
 

Sam: "Is that a sword in your hand or are you just happy to see me, Mr. Frodo."

Pippin: "I think it's time to break up this fellowship!"

Sam: "Cheer up, Mr. Frodo. You can't win if you don't try, my gaffer always used to say."

Pippin steps in something sticky.

The trouble with taking Hobbits on a major quest was that they were easily distracted by shiny or moving objects.

Pippin: "Squirrel!"
Merry: "Squirrel!"
Frodo: "Shiiiiiiiny!"
Sam: "Squirrel!"

It's either this . . .
 

or we need a new picture!

Pippin: "Aaauuggghhh!"

Merry: "Dum de dum doo doo, errrr . . ."

Frodo: "eh eh eh eh"

Sam: "I told you not look when Gandalf is uncloaking!"

The photographer despaired at the attempts of the latest Middle-earth boy band to appear 'aloof'.

Frodo had noticed that Gandalf seemed even older, more tired these days; he was taking a very long time to uncloak, anyway.

Unsuccessful Hobbit invention #314: The human compass.

Frodo: My sword definitely points north!
Merry: No, mine says north...
Sam: Two norths?! Is it some sort of dark magic at work?
Pippin: But we just came from the north... this is stupid.

Along the lines of Formendacil
 

Frodo was the first person ever to be hypnotized by a sword.

Sam: I told you not to go and follow Mr Merry again, He always getting Lost.

Sean Astin:- Now remember what that nice Mr Jackson told us, 'Don't damage The Ringwraiths clothing', as he wants to hire it out to The Dementors in the next Potty Harry movie.

New Picture
 

Help! We need a new picture! This one has been up since February. Please, precioussss!

Okay then...

http://www.herr-der-ringe-film.de/v3...Theoden_dg.jpg

Theoden: These new pants are a little too big... And Horse shaped...

OR

Thoeden refused to admit he failed his horse riding test...

The Rohirrim's inability to fashion weight-training equipment led to some odd improvisations.

Theoden soon realizes the problems involved with using a horse as a blanket.

Snowmane: "Oh right. Great plan, kingy. Just charge right
into a humongous army led by a pteradactyl riding nazgul.
What could possibly go wrong? Next time I get a wizard
rider. I should have listened to my mother. Go north, young
horse, to Bree, she said. But no, I had to...."

Thedoen: "Will you shut up. I'm dying here!"

'I'm supposed to take the saddle off when you are standing, not when you've lain down Snowmane!'



or




The untimely Death of Theoflat Edskew

Theoden: This wasn't in the drivers manual!

or

Theoden: You know, this could be a very relaxing day, laying here in the sun, no clouds. Too bad this horse is laying on me!

Snowmane: I have a name you know! :(

"A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a- Curse you, ironic genie!"

Theoden thought there was something suspicious about the new weight lifting equipment in the Edoras gym.

GET YOUR HOOFS OFF OF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY HORSE!:mad:

or

As he awoke in the morning, Theoden realised that he should never have refused Don Corleone's demand.

News Flash!
 

"This just in on Edoras Channel 5 Evening News! A horrible accident has occurred on the 'Ride the Mearas' Carousel. We take you live to the amusement park where correspondent Anderune is on the scene . . . "

New Flash!
 

Théoden: "Here I am trapped under Snowmane. I feel the approach of the Witch King! Oh no . . . It's worse. AAIIIYYEEE! GANDALF UNCLOAKING!"

One for the record books . . .
 

Going for the Guiness Book of World Records for lowest limbo under a horse , Théoden's attempt goes awry when he knocks the bar loose.

(Guess I had a bit of pent up humor waiting to bust loose with a new picture!)

Theoden : I was going to throw my sword to the Witch-King's chest when this narcoleptic horse threw up!

What's in a word?
 

Théoden: "I said that I was cold and wanted a horseblanket. Not a horse as a blanket!"

Lord of the Python (or is it 'Monty of the Rings'?)
 

WK: "Victory is mine! Glory to Lord Sauron!"

Théoden: "Have at you!"

WK: "You're kidding me, right?"

Théoden: "Certainly not! Afraid to contest the field?"

WK: "Look, you can't get out from under your horse much less make a run at me."

Théoden: "I've had worse!"

WK: "You lie!"

Théoden: "C'mon you pansy!"

WK: "What are you going to do, bite my legs off?"

Théoden: "Alright, we'll call it a draw."

Not Quite the Distance . . .
 

Théoden realizes too late that he's too old for the horse put at the quadrennial Rohan Olympics.

Theoden: Argh! Not again! If I can't put the cart before the horse, and putting the horse before the cart ends in this, what am I supposed to do?

Or...

I know an Rohirrim who swallowed a Ring...
I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Gollum
It wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside him!

He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed an Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed an Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Luthien
He swallowed the Luthien to catch the Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Silmaril
He swallowed the Silmaril to catch the Luthien
He swallowed the Luthien to catch the Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Starglass
He swallowed the Starglass to catch the Silmaril
He swallowed the Silmaril to catch the Luthien
He swallowed the Luthien to catch the Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Hobbit
He swallowed the Hobbit to catch the Starglass
He swallowed the Starglass to catch the Silmaril
He swallowed the Silmaril to catch the Luthien
He swallowed the Luthien to catch the Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!


I know a Rohirrim who swallowed Bill the Pony

...Bill the Pony? He's dead, of course!

Breaking News (Pun Intended)
 

"This just in on Edoras Channel 5 Evening News! A horrible accident has occurred during The Horse event at the quadrenniel Rohan Olympics. We take you live to the venue where correspondent Anderune is on the scene . . . "

Gandalf discovered that uncloaking in front of horses could have dire consequences.

Theoden: I've fallen...and I can't get up!

Alas, methinks a change is needed!

http://images.allmoviephoto.com/2002...towers_028.jpg

Eomer: 'I don't think anyone saw us, but Grima- this has to stop. It's tearing me apart!'
Grima: 'Oh, shut up and kiss me again, you handsome big horsemaster, you!'

Time for a change then...
 

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-...8_788794_n.jpg
(starting off with the obvious)

Butterbur: The gentleman over there? Oh lordy, look away! That's Gandalf and he's uncloaking again!
Sam: Too late...

Frodo: I don't want that pie. I wanted the pie next to it.

Barliman: What, that pie? You can't have that pie.

Frodo: I paid you extra for that very pie!

Barliman: I tell you, you cannot have that pie! They are all the same, anyway!

Pie: Quack!

Barliman: ...... The other pie, coming right up, sir.

Frodo: It's a creeper!

Sam: It's a Ringwraith!

Barliman: It's just Strider.

Butterbur was not sure if this was the right place to test out Frodo's jet-pack...

Frodo: Strider you say? Hmmm. And just go through with me one more time why he's wearing high heels.

"Here you go, Mister Underhill. Compliments of your 'Southern friends' in the corner. They said not to worry if it tastes funny."