Ha, I actually liked this one a lot. It is once again the classic kind of The Downer, which is quite refreshing. *whispers to everybody except for the phantom*: "It was about time."

By the way: more than any spelling mistakes (to which I am lately used from everywhere ;) ), I am most intrigued by Phantom's expression in the second picture. Impressive. Most impressive.

And hoping you are going to feel better soon, Hookiee.

(Whoever guesses from this post what kind of SF I have been messing with lately, wins a tart made of apples and liquid hydrogen. Results may vary.)

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

To whom it may concern:

I am just dropping a line to commend a superlative article in the most recent 'Downer, entitled ''Panic as Burning Bloke Enters Playground" by E. D. Derek. It was the type of iconoclastic piece that shatters the apathetically lethargic mood that currently holds our society in thrall by subtley skewering newspapers' outmoded habits of attempting to report news in a factual manner, using grammar and punctuation, or trying to make sense. The article had none of this folderol -- how refreshing! Or to put things in context, as Mr. Derek said, "Lah lah foo foo, mongoose on toast." Brilliant!

It was rather like James Joyce and ee cummings had bumped uglies on the editor's desk, right atop the galleys for the latest edition of the paper (I guess one would call it a news leak). It was bold! It was masterful! I couldn't understand a word of it! I was so excited, I went right out and set fire to my garage as a beacon for the whole world to see. Unfortunately, the fire spread to several of my neighbor's houses, and I have been arrested for arson. But that doesn't matter, because a literary luminary has this day been born! I had tried to share my joy with other cellmates, but they seem put off by my ardor, and they have asked the guards that I be removed and put into solitary confinement.

In closing, I can only say that the cell in solitary has 14,364 colored dots on the floor and each speaks in one or another dialect current in 18th century B.C. (I enjoyed the 'Hammurabi and the whore of Bablyon' jokes at first, but the Amorites are rather crude, and it is not at all mannerly that they keep mentioning the need for blood sacrifice to the goddess Ishtar).

Sincerely,
Ibin Suffrin DuLac-O'Sense
Chairman, Lard and Sugar Refineries Board
Chicago, Ill

The second story is my favourite! I do like the hiding place for the Hoody-Cloaky group!

By the way, I hope you get better soon, Hookbilly!

I actually became a judge because I missed my long hair. . .and because I love silly dances.

AAAAGGGHHH!!! Sorry, many things happened today and I almost forgot about P&A. This week, Alien puts his liking of explosives and eating things together. GREAT!

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Oh, but the last picture of this comic I really like. Alien looks cute again :D

Yes, and the expression of sheer exasperation on me face is one I am familiar with :eek:

I had a thought. If you could find an old green sock and some of those packets of 'eyes' that you buy in craft shops, you could make an Alien puppet to frighten errr....kids and old ladies with.

Why is there a sudden outbrake of crying in with the characters. If it wasn't for Davem's hilarious comforting of Lalwende this would have made me sad again.:(

Anyway, I like how the plot is unfolding.:)

You have no idea how close I came to doing this once upon a time. I didn't because I couldn't find a sock of the right shade of green. (I do have a pretty good Phantom Puppet, though... I am sad, I know...)

Actually, do Burscough FC have green socks? Their strip is that colour. You could sneak in and nick one :D

I think I have socks that are the same colour as Alien... maybe I could make an Alien puppet! I love the idea!!!!

Actually I do have green socks of that shade, but I don't know where to buy those googly eyes. But I used to make sock puppets for high school plays. :D

Okay, new idea for The Phantom and Alien Christmas special... Make your own Phantom or Alien (or both) puppets! Not sure how I'd organise it though... I don't it's fair to have just me decide a winner, so I'd like a few judges.

Maybe people with access to video cameras could make little 10-30 second clips of their puppets telling a joke or something?

Ideas?

Random Titles offer ideas...
 

How about a funny puppet skit that's about the length of your average P & A comic strip?

Sock it to me
 

It's how to get the teeth that puzzles me. Maybe walk around in the sock on a floor covered in big toast crumbs for a bit in the hope they stick? ;)

I just have one question. How does one make a stick of dynamite with oats? I don't think that I want to eat oatmeal anymore...

Hmm, popcorn?

Gasp, I just realized I also have green socks!

Well, flour will explode if it's lit on fire in an enclosed space, perhaps oats do as well.

ALIEN SOCKS!!!!!!!!

That's a bit weird, walking around with Alien on your feet? I think that I should turn my green socks into an Alien puppet! I could give it to my little brother for Christmas! He would like it, of course he'd like a John Fillis sock better! He's a big fan!

While we are on the topic of socks, I'd like to say that I have this pair of socks that are bright, Alien-green and have these two big, round "Alien eyes" along the sides. And at the top, where the hole is, it has a row of teeth. They're an amazing pair of socks, but technically it's supposed to be alligators. I will now refer to them as my"Alien socks". :D

If you want a serious answer– cut the teeth out of felt and sew/glue them on.

Week 123 (4567789?)
 

As Big Ben rings out to annoy the people in close vicinity, I see that it's technically Monday here in Blighty. So, without further delay, here is the real news that is real.

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This week, The Phantom goes solo. Oh how his ego will grow. Just like the plot in a pot of quick grow cement... Wait... Does cement grow? I don't care, I'm going with that.

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Comic Archive

If you have any suggestions for a P&A or general Downer christmas antics, please let us know. We want this to be an extravaganza of special magnificence! :D

Why am I saying 'we' as if there's a team of people working on this paper? Why do I keep asking myself these questions that make me look stupid? And Why do I publish them on the Internet for all to see? I think it must be the poisoned horse I met today.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR (Sung to the tune of 'Thick as a Brick')

Dear Downer Staff:

I hope you don't mind this editorial roast,
But your eyelids might blister while you're reading this post.
I oft' times do wonder if your writers can think --
Your grammar's atrocious and your spelling, it stinks.
But no news is good news on the Downs,
With the Barrow Wight making his rounds,
And Phantom and Alien are profound --
If you're dead in the head.

And this journalistic nightmare just won't go away,
Like a tidal wave of gravy that Oddwen has sprayed.
The sadists are typing with tongues in their cheeks
For the next edition due at the start of the week.
But the Downer is getting surreal,
Like Salvador Dali in high heels,
Whose fishnet stockings only appeal --
When you're dead in the head.

And the nausea I feel
Is welling today.
The Downer's a bad dream
I have every Sunday!
And I look with dread
(But I look just the same).

Bring me down some more beer, get me dazed till I puke.
I need to get wasted, to tell you the truth;
In order to read anymore of this tripe.

Sincerely,
Jethro Tull
Agronomist, Inventor of the Seed Drill
Shalbourne, Berkshire, England

...

Wow, that gravy...looks gross. Green, even.

The white room is probably the phantom's equilvalent of white noise, I'm guessing?

~ white walls and rooms are sad, poor things Ka

Lal and Alien continue their adventure. But, as usual, Alien's grasp on the situation is some what tenuous. As is, it seems, my ability to draw explosions...

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OK, who has been feeding the birds oats soaked in petrol? Tut tut. :eek:

I see our Inspector Lalwendë is getting into the job :D

Meh-hehe! I'm starting to lose touch with the boundaries of real me and fictional me. Help! :eek:

Now I must file those police reports...

Random Titles lose their minds.
 

I think it's too late really. No worries though, I think very few of us are sane, and most of the sane one are new to the Downs. :Merisu:

It's monday here in the land of Angles, so here's your news... It's a bit pants.

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And now for the reunion no one has been waiting for...

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Sorry, phantom, that's two bad thing happen to you in one post. It's not my fault! The Dragons forced me to do it! It was that and the money!

While I was aware that SPM favoured Scottish bands, I was not aware that his interest extended also to the Bay City Rollers and an curious desire to imitate their sartorial style.

I heard it first not on the grapevine but on The Downer!

Pfft..
 

I have never said "Pfft" in my life. I will never say "Pfft" ever. I dislike the word "Pfft" intently. Sorry I have go to my latrine...Pfft.

Haha, I just like the end of this P&A. Can't wait what happens next... :D

Hmmmm, I have a tablecloth just like those kecks! Something suspicious about that....

Thursday's strip has one of my favorite panels from the whole serise. :D It also introduces a new, yet familiar, character! :eek:

Kudos to Purple Pete for giving the lions new lives outside the cage. :cool:

The Adventures of our dynamic duo are put on hold while The Phantom and Alien take over. This week, a familiar face.

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Can I just say I really loved drawing that first panel? It's made me laugh ever since it was suggested to me. :D

The first panel is my favourite! And the last is my second favourite! Loved it, Hookbill

So, the Barrow-Downs is revealed as having an Establishment of its very own! It has a Lincoln's Inn Fields and a Whitehall - superb! This must mean there are also Wightish civil servants, and an M'eye'5! *groan* But this begs the question - if the B-W is the Prime Minister, then who is the Queen who he and the Establishment serves?

Yes, that panel is especially brill. As one indentured to civil servitude it's made me laugh! :D

The matter of the Wightish Monarchy will be dealt with... probably in volume 4 or 5. Which, by the by, I spent the other day planning out when I should have been doing coursework. :D
I think Downs' Civil servants will be looked into in a future volume. I had a little idea I don't mind sharing with you. Basically, different aspects of Downs society would be looked into in each volume;

Vol 2: Police
Vol 3: Funeral directors
Vol 4: Medicine
Vol 5: Civil servants.

In most of these instances, it is Alien who annoys the heck out of the respective people. ;)

Oh, and the Downs' Spy type thing is called 'BI-5'. Barrow Inteligence section 5. They have a sort of rivalry with the CIA, 'Cann-Dum Inteligence Agency'. Yeah, that was a running 'joke' in the newspaper. I toyed with the idea of The Phantom joining BI-5 in volume 3, but it didn't pan out.