A: In all likely hood, The Mirrors....as the ghetto folk would say, wouldn't have been able to have their own nation only because of certain "reflective" issues.

Q: Do you think that Sauron's eye ever got poked or flew into by a bird?

A: The uptight and nasty guy he was, that would sound more than probable... Just think of it: flocks of birds constantly flying towards your eye (and thence burning in the vicinity of it with all the screaming and squawking of death)! That would take some nerves to be nice and friendly in the middle of all that?

Q: How is Ilúvatar fighting against boredom in the eternity?

Q: Do you think that Sauron's eye ever got poked or flew into by a bird?

A: But of course! Lots of times, almost everyday - there being constantly dark in Mordor, that is... and mainly by Nazgul, not birds, King of Angmar being mostly painful, crown above unseen head et al... Why do you think it was called the red eye, um?

edit: cross-posted with Nogrod, but leaving things be (I like my version better :p)

To Norgrods question, than:

Q: How is Ilúvatar fighting against boredom in the eternity

A: He creates Ainur and they sing. There is no time in eternity, so they may be singing there always, despite what happens down here. From time to time, when he gets bored with just sitting, he stands up and makes exercise for his arms and facial muscles - now smiles, than raises his left hand, and than again his right and so forth

Q: What was Denethor watching in his Palantir by nights?

Q: What was Denethor watching in his Palantir by nights?

A: He was watching the Sopranos. :eek:

Q: Why do the Elves never run out of arrows?

Q: Why do the Elves never run out of arrows?

A: Thing is, though almost all elves are experienced yogis, still running on arrow-heads (equally as on broken glass or hot coals) is painful, so they never run out of them, but just walk out of arrows with dignity, smiling abstractedly...

Q: What kind of fish inhabited Gollum's lake?

Nemo, his father & Dory.

Why doesn't Gollum wear a shirt, precious?

Q: Why doesn't Gollum wear a shirt, precious?

A: He likes to look at himself in the lake and those clothes just get in the way.


Q: How long is Galadriel's hair?

A: Twice half it's length.

Q: How many pipes did Gandalf take with him?

Q: How many pipes did Gandalf take with him?

A: 5, one for each meal of the day and two extra ones for midnight smokes and then a spare.

Q: How come Bombur was so fat?

A: Because SlimFast didn't work.


Q: Why are Balrogs made of shadow and fire?

Q: Why are Balrogs made of shadow and fire?

A: Because no one is sure if they're male or female they couldn't decide whether to say they were made of sugar and spice or slugs and snails, and so they made up a new option.

Q: Why is Tom Bombadil?

A: "I sing, therefore I am.", "I sing anoying songs, therefore I am Tom Bombadil."

Q: Why wasn't Smaug a giant butterfly instead of a dragon?

Why wasn't Smaug a giant butterfly instead of a dragon?Because JRR Tolkien was deathly afraid of butterflies.

Why do the doors on hobbit holes have the knob in the middle?

Well, we all know that it is easier to produce torque on an object such as a door if the force is applied at the furthest end of the point where such object is turning. That's why door knobs are close to the side of the door rather than in the middle. We all know this.... hobbits did not.

Why do hobbits eat so much?

A - If they didn't their teeth would fall out.

Q - Where did Gandalf get his hat?

A: Like you all know by now, Gandalf's hat is made of cheese and so the only place he could have got it has to be the moon.

Q: How long has Gandalf been playing the quitar?

Quitar?
 

A: Three months, on and off. Already he can play the first bars of Smoke on the Water.

Q: What have I got in my pocket?

Q: What have I got in my pocket?

A: Gollum.

Q: What's a Mewlip?

A:a mewlip is a cat of course seeing it always has mew on the lips.



Why did radagast get such a cruddy color?

He was colour blind and thought it was a cooler one.

Q: Why did Smaug sleep on the gold and not in a big expensive bed?

Q: Why did Smaug sleep on the gold and not in a big expensive bed?

A: He liked a very firm mattress.

Who's the Mouth of Sauron?

it was a mistranslation hes really the mouth doctor(ie dentist) of sauron and hes a general because for obvious reasons hes useless as a dentist

Where did bombadil meet golberry?

A: At the Enigma/Eru/Tolkien/Valar get Together bash, ironically they were the only two that showed up.

Q: Why did Feanor have 7 sons?

Feanors wife was having trouble having children, so 10 fertility treatments later.....


Why does bilbo comb his foot hair?

A: That it wouldn't strangle him.

Q: Why did Beorn turn into a bear and not into a krchplin (a mix of a hairy frog and a hairless hobbit)?

A - Because Krchplins didn't exist. :p

Q - Did Isildur pose for the architects of the Argonath? If so, how long for?

Q - Did Isildur pose for the architects of the Argonath? If so, how long for?

A He gave them a 2 hour sitting for prelimminary sketches and then used a body double.

Q Why does Bill the Pony return to Bree where he was badly treated rather than Rivendell where he was well treated?

Because of the competitions of Prancing in Ponies that were held. Bill had always wanted to be a Prancing Pony during his tweens.

Q: What WAS that thing in the waters outside of Moria?

A: Gimli's Grandma! :eek: The supposed tentacles were actually braids in grandma's beard.

Q: Why does Gwaihir feel it's his duty to cart around Gandalf's old baggage all the time?

*howls at the moon*
 

A: Because otherwise, Gandalf would kill him, fry him up, and serve him at a banquet.

Q: Why did Sauron make Rings of Power instead of, say, Hats of Power or Shoes of Power?

Q: Why did Sauron make Rings of Power instead of, say, Hats of Power or Shoes of Power?

A: Because Rings of Power has a better ring to it.

Q: Why did Frodo dream about Gandalf's escape from Orthanc?

A: Well Frodo had smoked an amazing amount of weed that night and was thus able to have an elaborate dream such as this. :smokin:

Q: Who would Gollum marry if he survived and became good?

Who would Gollum marry if he survived and became good?

Me. :p

What is the best sauce for grilled Balrog wings?

A: Metaphorical BBQ sause.

Q: Did Melkor really want the Silmarills or did he just want to annoy Feanor?

Q: Did Melkor really want the Silmarills or did he just want to annoy Feanor?

A: The latter of course. Didn't you know Melkor was really the phantom in disguise? :p

Q: Why was The Lord of the Rings written?

Q: Why was The Lord of the Rings written?

A: Because if not, how are we going to notice, dissect and discuss all the mistakes PJ made on the films?

Q: Why is Tom Bombadill such a bad dresser?

A: Because he's colorblind.

Q: Why did Grima have to die?

A: Grima fell madly in love with Rose, but lost to Sam. He had no more reason to live.

Q: Can the Elves ever grow fat?

A: Probably, but I'd imagine it would be an awful mess to harvest ;)

Q: If an Ent fell in the forest...would anyone hear?

A: Sure, the ent itself.

Q: Why don't the Winged Beasts fly away from the Nazgul?