tell them they just can't come in for tea, or for coffee, or for dinner, they are just too many.

I'd ask them if they thought they were paying too much for their car insureance...

OR

Say, "I'm not in at the moment; please leave a message after the beep... BEEP!"

I'd just ask them if they'd like to go swimming, and then take them to the inlet by the mud flats and let them go out there...(and if you know anything about mud flats, you know what happens next)

Yeah, so they'll be on MY front door! Great...

Hmm..I think I would whip out my foil and challenge them all to a round-robin fencing tournament , and the ensuing bouts would take several thousand years to complete by which time I assume somebody would have noticed that Anchorage was covered on Orcs and would have summoned reinforcements.

If you don't want them in Alaska send them here to the tropics, that way I might put them on a town feria and make money along the way.

Tell my oldest daughter that, while her new group of friends is an improvement on the old one, they still aren't quite the sort I want her to associate with.

Well, having orcs in Alaska might not be a bad thing, just send them to Barrow.

Why not epee? Anyway, who would come to our aid? Certainly not the police!

If I found them on MY front door, I'd call the newspaper... and ask them what the 'ell they were doing at my door.

I'd call the newspaper and have those orcs printed on the front page.

Open my back door and let the 200,000 elves out of my yard....

and when they start to kill each other, Narfforc, what do you do with the corpses? :D

Put them in my waste paper bin next to the U.F.O that somehow crashed into my roof last week....

I'd ask them if Verizon Wireless is their network!

I didn't know that orcs possessed cell phones... But apparently they do. :rolleyes:

Not exactly that many, and not exactly orks, and not exactly on my front door, but fly I did

Ah, you are from Georgia right? I hope the situation over there improves and that you and your family are and remain safe!

I second that, sad to see The Land of the Golden Fleece in such a predicament.

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door I would probably be delighted, I mean Orcs at the door? That means they actually exist! That Hobbits actually exist! It would be wonderful!

I would revel in the glory of that for about 5 seconds, before an Orc knocked me out fo wearing such a silly grin on my face.

"Rebolusyon! Rebolusyon!" cried the orcs...
 

Lend them to the red-head activists back in school who always clamor for more rally people to join. Will benefit me, having gotten rid of the orcs, will benefit the activists, who don't get too much people anymore on rallies, and will benefit the orcs by having an enemy. And my, I think our darling government may actually tremble, if 200,000 orcs came rallying against it. :D

I think I'd want to know who I ****ed off, and how I ended up in the bad end of my wildest dreams...I'd then start looking for the elves that should be in the area

Set myself on fire, and jump off (somehow covering the distance in seconds). ;)

I would have to try beating them to death with my wooden sword and then trying to push my grandparents out the back door and over the fence.... but they are real old so I would have to knock the fence down. We wouldn't get very far.

If I found 200,000 orcs at my front door, I would...

call Orkin Pest Control:
http://www.orkin.com/

Having Orcs on the premises is embarrassing (I mean, really, what would the neighbors say?), and Orc defecation is unsightly and unhealthy! So have your home sprayed biannually to eradicate those pesky Orc infestations.

Yeah, I guess we could call our pest control guys, but the problem would be the orcs themselves I don't think would like getting sprayed in the face with poison.

200,000 orcs, huh?

Well, in that case, DANCE PARTY! It ought to be pretty fun with that many orcs involved.

Put a "closed, please come again tomorrow" sign on my door.
If that doesn't work, I'll ask them to prove that there really are 200,000 orcs there. That should give me time enough to think of something better.

1) Take a photo through the window and post it on the "I see Middle-earth" thread.
2) Wonder if that's enough of them to change a light bulb.
3) Try to teach them how to play Fizzbin.

Yeah, you could ask them to change a light bulb and slip away while they're at it. One reason for Sauron's army to be so big is that he doesn't have to many light bulbs :)

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would say:
"Hey guys,each of you owes me 10 dollars"

...just imagine how much money would I collect...:smokin:

...LOL...naive suckers...what a greedy bastard I am...:D

how long do you think it would take them to count the money that they owe?

I guess it would take them a very long time...but in the end...
...it would all pay off...:D

Can they count?

But Almesiva, what makes you think the Orcs would pay up? They're Orcs, after all.

...That is a hard question indeed Nerwen...
...and I cant seem to find the right answer...damnit... :(

Okay,I admit...you beat me in this one...:D

:smokin:

If I found 200 000 orcs on my front door I'd send them all to hell. Or rather to Mordor? But Lothlorien may be a "better" hell for orcs...hmmm...which one would it be? I'll just say oh go to hell and leave it up to them to figure out where's their hell.

That brings up an interesting question: where would they go?
Mordor
Lothlorien
Shelob's lair
Minas Tirith/Anor
Rivendell
Doriath
Anywhere near Gandalf
Anywhere near Glorfindel
Too near a Balrog
Close to an angry Nazgul
Fangorn Forest
Haudh-en-Elleth
Fingolfin's grave
Being anywhere under sunlight (unless they are the Uruk-hai)
Many more :)

*ahem* Go out the back door into the yard, start up the lawnmower, and charge them on the lawnmower wielding bow and arrow. I'd also take a moment to start my smartphone's mp3 music player up and play "I Am The Doctor" at maximum volume - since I'm sure anybody who's heard it would agree that it is the only appropriate music for such a feat.

Alternatively, I would curl up in a ball and scream like a little girl (something I am quite adept at). Yeah, probably that.

Grab something hard and solid and beat the life outta em!

Tell them that I don't give charity, don't buy cookies, and don't participate in fundrasing. :D

Or,

Tell them that they are only 199, 999.

Or,

Take a piece of fake jewelry and throw it in their midst. See who will survive. :p

Lol!!!!! I wouldn't say I'd be right back though!!!!!!

Why not? I mean, you can say it... :D Pulling a Fatty Bolger doesn't seem to be a bad idea (teaser teaser! "Books only" character!)

I would sic my dog Cotton on em!