Fortunatly, Balrogs also eat hobbit children, so the Balrogs ate the hobbits instead. (Fortunatly :p)

Unfortunately, Sam knocked out all of the Balrog's teeth.

Fortunately Balrog's can eat without teeth.

Unfortunately the balrog couldn't chew his food properly and started choking on a hobbit leg. (Frodos' Leg that is).

Fortunatly, when Balrog's choke, they breathe fire, so in the process of choking the Balrog dissolved the leg

Unfortunately, when he burned the leg, he also burned his throat and he died.

Fortunantly, all the other balrogs used his flaming corspe to roast marshmellows.

Unfourtunately, the all had colds at the time and they burned their marshmellows.

Fortunatly, Gothmog was currently playing in WWJI and his job was the foreman of the marshmellow factory, so there were marshmellows for all the balrogs!

Unfortunately Johnny the Stinky Balrog came by so everyone had to leave

Fortunatly Thingol came by (don't no why) and he "liked" stinky balrogs!

Unfortunatly, Dior didn't like the Balrog, and killed him

Fortunately the death *ahem* of Johnny the Stinky Balrog was enlightening to science.

Unfourtunately, they still weren't able to find the cure for the common cold.

Fortunately they were all elves, and impervious to the effects of the common cold.

Unfortunately Glirdan's poetry caused diseases far worse than the comman cold. (Turning into a slug with Gothmog as your translator never produces good poetry.)

Fourtunately, Eru smote The Elf Warrior down as he said it. Therefor, we never have to hear about me turning into a slug again.

Unfortunately Glirdan's's transition from slug to human left her with some temporary muscle pains.

Fortunately . . .
 

. . . there is still hope.

(You figure this one out. :p )

Unfortunately, nobody was able to figure out what Nilp just said.

Fortunately . . .
 

. . . It was only Lhuny-tunes (daga! :p ) who didn't get it. The others who post here would surely understand it.

Unfortunately Gil-Galad knew, and drew a new map for Middle Earth to make it more interesting

Fortunately, Kath also understood and quickly put false names on Gil's map.

Unfortunately, Eru lost his mind and started smiting everyone, killing the two board users and burning the map to ashes.

Fortunately, Morgoth was the most misunderstood character in Tolkien. He didn't do things because he was evil, but because he was just a rebel and wanted to do everything totally opposite of Eru, and he restores the map and the board people.

unforetunately, eru doesn't like rebels living in arda, so he banished not only morgoth, but the map and the board users to boot.

Fourtunately, he decided to let Sauron stay. Gandalf after all did need a rival.

For future reference Elf-Warrior, I am a he. And don't worry, there's no hard feelings. ;)

Unfortunately, the ring fell into Mount Doom by a freak accident, however, and Sauron then died, never to surface again.

Foretunately, because that would leave Middle-Earth bereft of a Dark Lord, Galadriel found the ring and replaced him. ( :eek: oh boy...)

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . Nilp didn't like the idea of Kath being dead or banished, so he battled this Eru guy and won.

Fourtunately, this was a good thing because it meant that we got Kath back!! YAY Nilp!!!!

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . it meant Nilp replaced Eru as supreme deity. His first act as deity is to bring Sauron back to life.

Fortunately, Galadriel wasn't two pleased about being usurpted as Dark Lord and (still being armed with teh ring) attacked nilp and his upstart sauron. she was utterly victorious.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . Galadriel ended up killing a Nilp-clone (I have lots of those, just ask Menel). The real(?) Nilp got behind Galadriel and sent her to Mary-Sue land.

(Always wanted to do that. http://www.geocities.com/louis_martian/smilies/evil.gif)

Fourtunately, she enjoyed it there and decided to stay.

Fortunately, Galadiel didn't mind so much, because after a breif stay in the Halls of Mandos, she was given a new body and returned to business as usually.

Unfortunatly, the death of Galadriel drove Nil insane, and he chopped her body up into pieces and hid them under the floorboards of his house. But he kept hearing the beating of her heart. Finally, he went crazy and took his own life!


American Literature strikes again! :smokin:

Fortunately, Gandalf was captured by the real Eru(Nlip killed stand-in #1337) and his clothes were fused with his body so he could never be uncloaked again.

Isn't Americana a fun word to say?
 

Unfortunatly, no amount of power could destory Edgar Alen Poe's works, and so the americana still took Nil to his grave.

Fortunately, that was a good thing in Manwe's book.