A: The Nazgul's metal boots were welded to the Beast's skin.

Q: Did Sauron ever really need the Ring or was he just trying to get a new career in Jewellery making?

A: He needed it to disguise the weld on his ring finger.

Who was Saruman?

Saruman

Shady
And
Really
Unhappy
Mean
Annoying
Nerd

Saruman is a neerd who was such a big fan of gandalf he copied him and then became leader of the local D&D club


Why does Leglas love his hair

Why does Legolas love his hair?

It conceals the bizarre tattoo he got on his scalp as youthful elf (in his early 200's).

Why are hobbits afraid of the water?

They are Nazghul in disguise.

Why are the Nazghul afraid of water?
(yes, I'm stealing from you Rikae, hope you don't mind)

They are Hobbits in disguise.

Q: Why did Tom Bombadill sing all the time?

A: He was afraid of being suffocated.

Q: Why did Meduseld have a golden roof?

Because platinum was too expensive.

Q: Why did Aragorn use several different aliases?

A: He was wanted for tax fraud all across Middle-Earth.

Why didn't anyone ride donkeys in Middle-Earth?

thy did The Black steeds were actually donkeys


Where do hobbits come from?

Q. Where do hobbits come from?

A. Ah, the story here is almost as it is with fairies - hobbits come from hobbies. Each time a human takes up new hobby, somewhere out there hobbit pops out of the air into existence. Unfortunately, they die the same way - each time a human abandons a hobby, a hobbit dissapears with a plop... alas...

Q. Always wondered, what are real means of waking up drunken goblins, leaving aside elves singing?

A: Calling them an upstart or an isosceles triangle is quite effective. If that doesn't work, try pulling their legs.

Are there tomatoes in Middle-earth?

Q. Are there tomatoes in Middle-earth?

Not any more. There were some brought from Numenor, but most were eaten up by the Last Alliance during Great Siege, and the last one has been squashed at Sauron's face by joint effort of Elendil and Isildur (you see, weapons broken et al, they have had nothing more suitable handy). In memory of the event (as he was lucky and noone destroyed his Precious), Sauron has chosen Single Red Squashed Tomato for a badge. But orkses are uncultured and uneducated folk, never coming to know particulars of vegetable-growing, so they've thought it was Single Red Eye.

Q. There are some things money can't buy. What is for everything else in ME?

Brute force.

Who is the Necromancer?

Who is the Necromancer?

Allison DuBois.

Q: Why was Sauron embodied as a huge eye?

A: He wasn't. He was embodied as a full grown man. Yet he had a strange eye desease that made his eye super huge and full of fire.

Q: Who did Trebeard like better? Merry, or Pippin?

A: Merry, of course. Now if he could only find someone named Christmas, he'd be set.

Which brings me to a question...
Q: Did Ents ever look like Christmas trees?

A: Really hard to compare... Merry was rather sweet, but gave a nasty bitter aftertaste which Treebeard didn't like. Pippin on the other hand was chewy and tasteless, though he contained a lot of calcium and with red ent-drought had a nice subtle taste. Treebeard would prefer to eat both of them again.

Q: Why did Roäc have a bald spot?

Uh-oh...cross-post...

Daughter you technically had your post up first, so it's your question next. If you have an answer for Volo's...that seems to work the best. Then put your question up again. :) or whatevers

Why did Roäc have a bald spot?

He wanted to emulate the American Bald Eagle, ignorant of the fact that they aren't actually bald.

And...

Q: Did Ents ever look like Christmas trees?

A: Yes. In fact, that's where the Entwives went. You see, many of Santa's elves rebelled against their master after Christmas went missing, and swore a deadly oath to regain Christmas from whomsoever took it from them (incidentally it was the Grinch), and Santa did not have enough elves to go around. So he enslaved the Entwife populace and stuck 'presents' underneath them, and cut them down to make all his wooden toys. Mean old person.

Why didn't the Valar just forgive the Noldor after Feanor died and killed off Morgoth earlier?

Q: Why didn't the Valar just forgive the Noldor after Feanor died and killed off Morgoth earlier?

A: Because they were waiting for Venus to come.

Q: Who can stand against both Sauron and Saruman?

A: Why, Johnny the Stinky Balrog of course!!

Q: Why did the Mumak cross the Harad-Road?

A: Because someone was pulling on its ear. It didn't want to go, but it didn't have a choice! Poor thing.

Q: What was it with the Haradrim and face-paint?

A: Not everyone can afford good make-up! And they had to cover that BAD acne somehow.

Q: howcome Ents, living for thousands of years and always drinking Ent draughts did not grow to unfathomable heights? (after all, if Merry and Pippin grew noticeably after only a few drinks, what could a few ages of drinking do to an Ent?)

A: In reality Ents hate the flavour of Ent draught and spit it out when noone is looking.


Q: Why did Turin kill himself?

A: He didn't. He hired a stunt double to do it for him.

Q: How'd Gandalf go from being "the Grey" to being "the White" again?

A: One word: bleach

Q: Why did Pippin look into the palantir?

A: 'cos he wanted to use it to see why in Eru's name the chicken crossed the road.

Q: Why is there no mention of female orcs?

A: Yes there is! They are called Dwarves...

Q: What was the One Ring really made of?

A; 10,000 year old Chocolate.

Q: Why did Feanor burst into flames when he died?

A: A balrog was hiding under his skin.

Q: How did they know when all the ages ended?

Q. How did they know when all the ages ended?

A. Big counter in the sky went to zero and stopped there

Q. Were there schools in the Shire?

A: Thinking about the seemingly high literacy among the Hobbits, there must have been. And how else would one be able to explain the generous free time the adults seem to have had in Shire if the kids were not some elsewhere most of the day? :)

Q: Was there ever an uprising, or a popular dissatisfaction, against the reign of Aragorn in the Shire?

Q: Was there ever an uprising, or a popular dissatisfaction, against the reign of Ara
 

A:i guess there would be after all they didnt get to vote on it



Q: what would a half elf halk man be called

A: Agent Smith.

Q: Why didn't Frodo marry?

orignally posted by Thinlomien
Q: Why didn't Frodo marry?


A: he had a love affiar with sam

Q:why dont they use guns

A: They were SO last age!

Q: What did Denethor really keep in the Tower?

A: A harem! Either that or a demented ex-girlfriend. I can't remember which.

Q: Did balrogs have wings?

Did Balrogs have wings?

They did, until Pippin and Denethor cut them off and ate them.

Did the river folk have beards?