Fortunately, his sons were still around to say really cheesy council lines and to invite dark rulers over for tea, continuing the heritage.

Unfortunately, a bear ate them.

Fortunately, their sister was already married and getting busy, so the Elven breeding rights were secured.

Unfortunately, the Elf blood in Arwen and Aragorn was so weak, they had little chance of bearing an elf.

Fortunately, they were both willing to adopt elven children from the nearby orphanage.

Unfortunately, ME adoption laws are tedious and require 10 years of waiting.

Unfortunately, the orphaned elves were really orcs who had recently undergone *expensive* plastic surgery


[EDIT]Opps. Lol. go with bilbo's :D

Fortunately, elves did not count years and so had no idea of how long 10 years actually was.

Unfortunately, 10 years to them was actually about 100,000 years.

Fortunately, they had better things to do with their time and so gave the child up.

Unfortunately, they decided to fritter away their newfound time by drinking whiskey and smoking excessive amounts of pipeweed, instead of taking care of the new kingdom of Gondor.

Fortunately, Faramir led a revolution and took over Gondor, which he controlled much more responsibly.

Unfortunately Boromir rose from the dead as a zombie and led fallen Gondorian zombie Brethren to usurp Faramir.

Fortunately, Faramir had already sprayed zombie repellent all over Minas Tirith.

Unfortunately, the Zombie repellent (though surprisingly worked), caused the whole city of Minas Tirith to crumble in ruins.

Fortunately, it had already been damaged in the war, so no one really noticed

Unfortunately, Aragorn did. He was, after all, the King.

Fortunately, 5 Petty-dwarves who had somhow lived in secret since the 1. age showed up and offerd to rebuild the city in two days

Unfortunately, they turned it into a really tacky rip-off of what it was supposed to be.

Fortunatly, Aragorn cried out to Gimli:

"My city is in ruins cuz some dude lead a revolution and had to spray acid on teh walls, then some petty dwarves rebuilt it using that cheap fake rock stuff that you find in museums, and now I just don't know what to do!!!"

Gimli said, "no problemo. i swear never to eat again untill i rebuild minas tirith teh right way!!!" this shows how much he meant it.

Unfortunately, Gimli lied, therfor he became the fatest dwarf in ME and Minas Tirith remained a tacky rip-off.

Fortuantely, Aragorn ran him through (and the fat closed over teh balde. anyone know where that's from? :smokin: ) for the gross outrage of lying to the king. He then hired some contractors from mirkwood to set things to rights.

Unfortunately, they were spiders.

Fortunately those spiders blew up and spider guts were everywhere

Unfortunately Martha Steward was hired to rebuild Minas Tirith.

Fortunately, she got chucked into jail for fraud just before she started work.

Unfortunately the Witch-King found the Silmaril.

Fortunately the W-K turned good and borught Prosperity to Middle Earth

Unfortunately, Maglor finally left his beach and sued the Witch-King for theft.

Fortunately, the Witch King had the best legal team in all of Middle Earth and so was able to sue Maglor for grievous bodily harm, even though it never happened.

Unfortunetly, Tulkas laughed as he threw the witch-king defense team into the void! and then he came back for some more, cuz he's NEVER MENTIONED HERE!!! ( :p )

Fortunately, as he is never mentioned here, that makes the last post invalid. :p
Oh, and in the next room, Gandalf uncloaked in front of the judge and was sent to prison for making a judge go; "Waah!"

Unfortunately, Gandalf was now late for his appointment to save the world, again.

Fortunately, Legolas still had enough arrows to cover for him until he arrived.

Unforetunetly, he broke a nail. And cried. and teh tears fell on his bowsting, rendering it useless. (ps. i hate how unmanly i view legolas now! he used to be one of my favorite characters. curse you pj! :( )

Fortunately, a herd of hippopotami ran over all the bad guys.

Unfortuantely, the bad guys were really the good guys

Fortunately, with all the good guys killed by the herd of Hippopatami, the bad guys had no one to rage war with and they lived amongst eachother peacefully.

unfortunately, taht is what thier leaders proclaimed. in reality, they stole all the good food and drink, lived in teh best houses, and got all the chicks, generally behaving much like what we find in Animal Farm.

Fortunately, no one had ever heard of Animal Farm and it was a gennerel acceptet fact that: Some people are more equal than others !