Unfortunately the bad guys turned faithful Grishnakh into glue.

Fortunately, he was turned into super glue which they used to put Minas Tirith back together.

Unfortunately this was no good because there were only bad guys around.

Fortunately, they all got bored and decided to re-build Minas Trith anyway.

Unfortunately, they allso decidet to make it purple instead of white.

Fortunately, with Purple walls, they agreed to make Minas Tirith the Disco Capital of the World in honor of the dead Disco King (Boromir of course).

Unfortunately, all the neighbours complained about the racket.

Fortunately they could be bribed to stop complaining and agree.

Unfortunately, the Bad Guys had no Good Guys to steal money from to bribe the Complaining Neighbours, so the Complaining Neighbours COMPLAINED! NOOO!

Fortunately, the Bad Guys had was Bad Guys and therefor killed the Complaining Neighbours and felt good about it.

Unfortunately they forgot to kill one complainer, who had left on a vacation in the Bahamas just before the massacre. When she got back she made a complaint to Ilúvatar of the murder of beloved neighbours and her little dog PinkyFunkyIsabella.

Fortunately Iluvatar told her to get over it.

Unfortunately, it wasn't Illuvatar speaking, it was Morgoth.

Fortunately Morgoth slipped up and spoonerised when he meant to say "get over it" so it ended up sounding like "ite giver ot". The complaining neighboor was so confused with this message that they thought themselves into a headache.

Unfortunately, while all this was going on, teh bad guys were raving away in Purple Minas Tirith. The One Complainer awoke from a troubled sleep, opened his window and shouted some meaningless complainy words which were drowned in teh drunken revalry eminating from Purple Minas Tirith.

Fortunately by a freak accident, whilst the complainer was yelling out her window trying to be heard she fell out the window and was impaled on a wheel of spikes.

Unfortunately her blood spilled all over and changed the Purple Minas Tirith to Bloodred Minas Tirith.

Fortunately, there were only Bad Guys left now, and they were getting bored with Purple Minas Tirith anyway. Bloodred was much more their colour.

Unfortunately, all that blood made a small section of teh populace go slightly insane. they killed teh mayor first (but that was because he hadn't really been elected. being a Bad Guy, he had murdered the former mayor and assumed his job.) things began to degenerate into anarchy.

Fortunately, The Witch-King was done being hungover and he brought authority to the city, making the orcs good citizens(relatively, anyway.)

Unfortunately, the orcs did not like this lack of anarchy and left the city, leaving the Witch-king all alone in Bloodred Minas Tirith.

Fortunately, J.R.R. Tolkien rewrote the story so the good guys were still alive and well.

Unfortunately he rewrote it to where the bad guys had complete dominance and control over the good guys.

Fortunately he had to make it interesting so sometimes the good guys revolted and won

Unfortunately they didn't add the Shire scene in the movie. :(

fortunately, everyone had to pee really bad at the end of the movie, so nobody really minded (at least taht was my experience...).

Unfortunately Tolkien tore up his manuscript and started from scratch.

fortunately, it was a very little scratch that did not hurt at all. (I know it dos not make sence, but thats the beauty of it)

Unfortunately it got infected.

Fortunately, the infection didn't spread.

Unfortunately, Tolkien suddenly had a fatal heart attack just as he was about to begin writing and LOTR never happened.

Fortunately, he possessed his own body and wrote his books, with no one ever realizing that he had died.

Unfortunately, Christopher Tolkien feared his dad was possessed by a demon so he called in a Holy Man to perform and exorcism.

Fortunately it didn't work.

Unfortunately, it was because the Holy Man was a fraud. Christopher than called in a real Holy Man.

Fortunately, this Holy Man was devoured by evil squirrels.

Unfortunately, real Holy Men allways come in pairs so there was still one left to preform the exorcism. . .

Fortunately,Tolkien had already finished writing LOTR when the Holy Man arrived.

Unfortunately he had it locked in a vault and buried deep underground before sending it off to the publishers.

Fortunately, the vault was actually where the publisheres worked.