Seems like everyone's tired after the battle. If no one posts "Down by the Riverside" today or lets me know that they intend to do so very soon, I will get us to Parth Galen by tomorrow.

Duh-Duh-DunDunDun! \m/

The whole way through this great introduction of a new nemesis, I couldn't stop singing the following song to myself.

She
by KISS

She walks by moonlight
No one really knows
Enchanted starlight
Never goin' home
I know she's goin' down, goin'
Everybody knows, she's so good

Doin' well for others
She doesn't really know
The powers are within her
As she takes off her clothes
I know she's goin' down, goin'
Everybody knows, she's so good

Doin' well for others
She doesn't really know
The powers are within her
As she takes off her clothes
I know she's goin' down, goin'
Everybody knows, she's so good

Surely, Gene Simmons stole your idea, Bethberry!

Great posts! Anyone wanting to post, please don't move the group from its present location, as we are awaiting further developments there...

Way to go, Bethberry! Every good parody can stand a little H. Rider Haggard. Now if we could just work in some Bulwer-Lytton...

Great balls of fire, BW. You have uncovered one of the gaping great holes in my knowledge of rock n roll. I never much paid attention to Kiss other than being aware they existed. But it's uncanny how that song fits.

Good golly, Miss Birdie. It's been years since I read H. Ryder Haggard's She and I had consciously forgotten all about "She-who-must-be-obeyed." What tricks our minds play on us.

I think Squatter is going to handle at least part of the mixup with these mercenaries from Far Harried, but of course everyone can get into the act.

Bethberry

I filled in part of my save. It's way back up by the end of the battle, just after Birdie's last crebain post, before the secret diary of Falafel. There, I've made it impossible for you to not be able to find it. No need to thank me. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

I know somewhere there was a parody name for Minas Morgul, but I'll be a fried potato if I can find it. Was it by any chance "Minor Moreghoul"? That's what I used.

[ March 10, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

I've introduced our new friends to the It-ship, but I've left the ending open apart from my own capture. Happy fighting.

The rules of our storied forum require elaborate use of language in proper and grammatical english coupled with multi-paragraph posts. But there are very rare occaisions when a shorter post is appropriate. This is one. Sooo...

Your indulgence, I pray, fellow boon companions of the pen and keyboard. She has been quite thoroughly rewritten. Any text is, of course, a plurality, and this one even more so than most.

*curtsies*

Pithy good.

In Bilbo S. Thompson I've ripped off the gonzo journalism of Hunter S. Thompson, best known for such pieces as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey into the Heart of the American Dream, Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail 72, Hell's Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga and various articles from Rolling Stone magazine.

[ March 16, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

...and superbly so, too. Congratulations.

To the rest of ye vagabonds, rapscallions and contumacious bounders, well done. I am greatly enjoying reading this epic Comedy, when I gain the opportunity to browse its vast and eloquent witticisms. Mr. Alighieri would be proud.

Oh dear, Kuruharan. In my naïveté, it didn't occur to me that a spanking was a desirable thing. [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

Anyway, I was pressed for time Saturday and needed to get that post up there so as not to hinder anyone else, since I've just now been able to return my attention to the computer. So, the post was quite hastily written. What I'm getting around to is that I've just rewritten it a tad to polish it up. A few things have been added here and there throughout. (And of course I've fixed an appalling number of typos and spelling errors).

And yes, I haven't forgotten about Fits the Fourth and Fifth (Getting to Gol Dulldor and Crebain and Uruks and Sourone, Oh My respectively). But I have many, many things to do. And so now I shall proceed to scurry off busily.

Kuruharan and Diamond, good to have both of you back with us again! Though your characters stayed with the Non-Gender-Specific-Ship, there’s no substitute for your own writing.

Kuruharan, great ensemble writing there! You always manage to throw in something surprising – in this case, of all things, a poker game!

Diamond, Pimpi’s recognition scene is wonderful – my favorite part is the Dr. Seuss line! Thanks to an earlier post of yours, we now know what orcish waybread is – available at your local grocer’s. Even earlier, the reproachful Orc’s rant about the parody was hilarious! We look forward to your upcoming poems, of course.

Bethberry, you started the Gregory Peck references – if anyone out there hasn’t yet seen Mithadan’s picture on the Chat Wight page, they should look to know why. Great journalistic writing by Bilbo S., and a fascinating, lushly-written introduction to our nemesis, after finishing O Lando brilliantly and devising a suitable funereal ending for Halfullion!

Squatter, best wishes for Etc.’s captivity and all that ensues there; it’s always a joy to read your descriptions of his battles with enemies and various bottles. You do have me curious about the fate of the equine lovers, I admit. Well-planned and coordinated with Rim the death scene for Halfullion…

Mithadan, congrats on the story’s shortest post! Yes, quite appropriate at that point. Absolute favorite line in the previous post – the Entish foot’s name!! In the posts before that, your descriptions of Orcish battle tactics are most certainly edifying for all who wish to learn.

Barrow-Wight, good to read your post after a break caused, unfortunately, by real life – it can happen to any of us. You picked up on the Park idea very nicely and made the guided tour sound…interesting. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Birdie, thanks to you, we now know the origins of pigeons! Let’s hope they’re happy in crebain heaven, Topfloorien. Their conversations were great fun to read before, during and after the battle.

Thanks to all of you for great battle scenes; I must admit, I was most apprehensive about those, since I have so little battle experience. They turned out wonderful!

Special thanks posthumously to Rimbaud for his Halfullion death scene, which took me, as I suppose most others, completely by surprise! How heroic, how tragic, how full of references! Thanks for a great character and wonderful writing.

We’re on the last stretch of Part One now – hang in there for the climax!

Earnur has encountered She. The cat is out of the bag and among the pigeons, and my metaphors are mingling joyfully. Over to you.

The Fellow/Galship has now reached Minus Moreghoul to rescue Etceteron – well, at any rate they have found him. Squatter will be posting next, then it’s open to all for exploring the fortress. After the untimely demise of its mistress, I rather imagine we will find the tower deserted by foes. However, each of the characters will experience some vision of horror, despair or madness within the walls, as befits the residence of She. If possible, those episodes should be written within the next few days. Then we can finish with our final posts at the end of this or at the very latest, the beginning of next week.

Thanks for the She cameo, Bethberry; I have enjoyed your excellent writing greatly, and I’m certain that I’m not the only one. Your way with words is wonderful – oops, alliteration is contagious! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] Also, you managed to give our RPG a Lloyd-Webber touch, what with the music in your last post! Thanks especially for all the behind-the-scenes planning and coordinating of the various subplots.

Squatter, wonderful post – “penned by Deeproot the Ent and not, for example, a long-haired weirdo in a roleplay” – LOL! Your description of the interior of the tower is very evocative: “scenes of questionable moral content and … even more questionable anatomical accuracy”; “aggressive opulence … like a diamond-studded hammer”; and then the description of the throne and of She – great stuff!

Diamond, your synonym chains are always fun to read, as are your metaphors and your literal embellishments of words used in a different context (“pregnant” was my favorite this time!). Then another poem for our … [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] edification! …to say nothing of the interesting character development of the two least martial persons in the Itship.

I’m looking forward to the next posts!

And here I thought "lorry" was some sort of candy. [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

The second paragraph of my latest Merisu post is a quote, almost word-for-word - do I need to ackowledge it, or is it recognized by all?

I think I have an inkling of the author's identity.

Have I ever mentioned that I was in a stage production of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe? Yep, I played two roles: I was one of the White Witch's Hags (oh, shut up) and I was also Queen Susan (you know, at the end when the kids are grown up and speak in Shakesperean).

Anyway, do I have to acknowledge my most recent plagiarism, or is it obvious enough as well? [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[ March 27, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

Your silence on the subject speaks volumes, although I'm not usually a fan of Simony (I believe that Art should follow Nature). Nice scene.

[ March 30, 2003: Message edited by: The Squatter of Amon Rûdh ]

I have written the next post and will put it up in the morning (my time). I'm waiting for those missing posts - if no one posts or puts up a save within the next 8 hours, your chance will be gone! After my post, it will be Diamond's turn, then Mithadan's, then all may put up their closing posts. The end of Part One draweth nigh!

Sadly I've been grabbed for off-line activities both tonight and tomorrow. I have put up a save, which I shall write with consideration to anything that follows. Essentially it will be Etceteron's acquisition of a new sword and his burial of Vinaigrettiel, probably with some gratuitous heroism thrown in.

*emerges from ten (10) days of judiciary branch hell and eyes his "save", while laughing maniacally...drums roll, horns blare...returning again to the living, both virtual and otherwise...Mithadan!

*sound of crickets chirping in an otherwise silent auditorium.

Ummm, anyway, I will fill in my long-languishing "save" post tomorrow morning.

My save has been filled in. Diamond...we need to talk...

"Ya want a piece of me punk?" just wouldn't have been poetic enough. Therefore, thanks to Shakespeare, specifically, King Lear, Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet.

I will be away starting tomorrow afternoon through sunday night for some well-deserved (in my opinion) R&R. Hopefully, we can finish this bit of nastiness and move on to the happily ever after before then...

Great posts!! Center stage still belongs to Diamond and Mith...

Ah, me. What fools these (im)mortals be.

Wonderful posts, Diamond and Mithadan!! Truly touching and moving scenes there! Squatter's save is filled in as well, so check it out if you haven't read it yet - it's great!

I am writing the next Merisuwyniel post now - it should be up today or tomorrow. After that, you are all free to write your final posts. Merisu will be going to Minus Teeth, the Wight City, after mourning the death of Gravlox - and her mother. You are welcome to come along, but you may conclude in any way you choose. When each has posted, the thread will be closed.

I hope you will all want to join in the second part of the adventure; however, we all deserve a good break after this much work. Writing humour is definitely more difficult than writing seriously! I will let you know when Part Two begins.

OK, we are awaiting final posts from: Squatter, B-W, Kuruharan, Diamond, and if possible, Child/Sharon (not necessarily in that order). Please let me know by when you intend to post, so that the story thread can be closed after that. Thanks!

Lord Etceteron's manly decision is made. He will accompany Merisu. The dreaded Black Sword remains somewhere near the grave of Vinaigrettiel, put there by Earnur's First XI trained arm; a dangling plot thread if ever there was one.

Oh sob and alas that Vinaigrettiel's too, too solid flesh did melt and pass from this dark vale. And why is it that in Merisuwyniel romances good guys are recognized only in retrospect?

What a great name, Squatter: "Houses of Bettifordeth," and "Motorless City" also!

Diamond and Mithadan, a terrific denouement. It works so well given the opening dynamic of your characters.

Estelyn, imagine the wardrobe you can take with you to the Wight City. Congratulations on running a fabulously creative game of license if not licentiousness. Will we ever be the same again?

Bethberry

[ April 06, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

I shall be esoteric and say I'll post "very soon". I know what I'm going to write, I just have to write it, you see. Later today maybe. Or not. Soon, anyway.

Kuruharan and Chrysophylax have flown off into the sunset of Part One.

I have enjoyed the story immensely and am looking forward to Part Two.

Most excellent fun all!

By the way, has anyone seen Halfullion? There's a group of Pun Wraiths who have been asking about for him...

Halfullion is semi-filling the belly of a large cat at present, as his name indicates.

He has enjoyed reading very greatly.

Well done, everybody. And thanks for letting me participate in a small way.

Looking forward to "The Itship - Part Tâd"!

Sorry, couldn't resist! [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Esty, do you want this thread and the RPG locked down in preparation for Elvenhome?

Who said it was over? [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] If you lock it up now we won't be able to fill in our saves.

Sorry about my delay—obviously "soon" and "later today" don't quite mean what they used to... But I've been a bit...dry in the funny department and I didn't want my last post to be as lukewarm as it was shaping up to be. Excuses, excuses! Tomorrow maybe I'll wake up funny.

No problem. I'll move my "credits" post as needed.