I assign 100+ mph winds. They're scary! :eek:

Procrastination that gets out of hand. If you have several months of time to write a 2500-word paper, why oh why do you leave it till the last night, and even then spend three hours chatting with a friend?

I have 32 words.

Oh I know how that feels, Aganzir! Perhaps you should blame your computer, it should have summoned you to write more often :D

Somebody should just have disconnected my net once I had all the necessary web pages opened in my browser... Although I suppose then I would've resorted to solitaire. :rolleyes:

Oh and did I forget to mention that it's 4.38 am?

Oh, man, that's brutal! I hate it when I procrastinate that long...not that it keeps me from doing it. I still haven't finshed the literary analysis that was due almost a month ago, but I'm homeschooled, so I just don't remind my mom I was supposed to finish it. :p

I assign forgetting to print the Works Cited page. Not that I plagiarize--hell no. It's just that I use parenthetical stuff whenever citing, and I often forget to pile all authors and works up on a separate file (so as not to include it on the page numbering) once I'm done with the main body. I just got chewed again. :o

Blargh.
 

Not getting the job you applied and were hoping for. The job(s) I have now are great and all, but...dangit! Twelve dollars an hour...dangit! Working regular hours...dangit! Working hard every week to make sure everyone else gets what they're supposed to do done and then rushing to get done what you need to get done only to have to start all over again in a never ending cycle, and getting in trouble when it's not done in record time every week is extremely wearing. And then dealing with the everyday Other People's Drama can just...stop already.

I assign eight and a half years of retail exhaustion to Mordor.

Ono! You're reminding me of my trip to the North Slope last summer. It was great . . . except for the biting insects. Mosquitos aren't really that bad at all; it's tiny biting flies that EAT you, chewing holes and such.

I'm so sorry! :( I do this all the time. Like right now for instance, I should be working on my current events journal, it's due in a couple of hours and all I have is the articles--which I have not read.

I assign backing into a car parked behind you and causing $500+ in damage. Not that I personally did this, my mum did (a am a FAR BETTER driver ;)), but it has made me late to school today and made the owner of the car call the police.

Well, it's not like you missed anything anyway. We just argued a lot.

Having your blood sugar tank right before you have to leave for work.

Flaking out while driving and managing to go past the driveway to your workplace.

Getting stuck behind traffic at a red light when you go to turn around.

Having a cop car blocking the entrance to the parking lot you intended to turn around in.

Finally getting turned around in the right direction and getting stuck behind a tractor. One that was towing another tractor. Really slowly.

Hitting three red lights.

Having more cars than you've ever seen on that road decide to come down the hill while you're waiting to turn left.

Getting to work five minutes late.

Sheesh.

Fail. To Mordor, with ye!

Your work place fail, if it is a major problem that you turn up five minutes late. . .

I assign people who under the pretence of changing furniture in your student flat not only change your furniture, but steal your lamp! How wicked!

Oh yes, such swine really belongs to Mordor. I remember one morning back in my dormitory days, someone stole my bread, which was all the food I had left before my mother sent me my allowance. To top that off no store that accepted credit cards was open at half past five in the morning. :(

The sketchy conversation hearts that taste like chemical death.

I think I just ingested rat poison. :(

Philosophy of Law exam. Pure evil, considering our professor never taught us, but only had "reporters" who merely summarized articles, and whom I bet half the time didn't understand what they were talking about... The professor ought to be burned in the Ninth Circle of Mordor!! :mad:

When you bite or somehow otherwise damage the side of your tongue and then keep biting it and/or otherwise injuring it in the same place over and over again.

So not cool...

I'd like to assign mean kindergarten teachers who think you should already be totally awesome at teaching, when you've explained to her like 80 times that you've had no actual training on how to teach and your school sucks by putting you in the wrong grade range with little instruction and that this is a learning experience and learning experiences involve mistakes and the wonderful 4 year olds don't seem to really see the difference anyways....

To continue on that I'd like to assign my university, who even after I told them that I want to teach grades 4-10 and don't want a french placement, they decide that I must have been lying to them, or perhaps they think they know what I want better then I do, or something, so they put me in a french kindergarten class.

*sighs*

oh, and homework that I don't have enough time to do because of the aforementioned placement...

Don't freak out too much, I had 10th grade English for my first placement, and you know I'm Social Studies...granted there are lots of similarities between those two subjects, and at least it wasn't Math. :p The teacher didn't expect much besides looking through some of her lesson plans, and checking out classroom management stuff. Although, in her theater class I played a hyper-emotional pirate for one of the groups :rolleyes:. Talk to your teacher about what you're comfortable doing, he/she should understand. :)

Interesting :D

Even though I was doing secondary I had to spend a week's "observation" in a primary school and due to staff illness I had to spend four days with a mixed year group of 6 and 7 year olds helping with their science project (obviously really helpful for a trainee language teacher). On the friday morning I was feeling the strain a little and ended up raising my voice to stop the naughty kid doing something naughty - not shouting but just not the calm voice I had so endeavoured to maintain thus far. I felt terrible but an adorable little moppet gave me a hug and said "I think you will be a good teacher!" "Because I shouted at Keith?" "Yes" she said solemnly "It's what teachers have to do...".

I thought this was really funny but when I related it in the staff room my mentor was very po-faced and said "well I think that reflects very badly on us as a profession". :cool:

Moppet was dead wrong and I was a useless teacher or at least useless at riot control which prevented much teaching from actually happening... if you want useless teacher training - I'll nominate my old college. We had two hours of lectures on classroom management which consisted of "don't use yellow chalk or green board markers, don't wear short skirts or low cut tops... " Not a great help when you end up in a school where the kids try to set fire to your hair and you have to have the classroom windows screwed shut to stop them climbing out..

But don't let me put you off.... :D

No, I'm doing all out lessons, and she helped me out a bit today and said I was doing a good job, but she freaked out at me when I wasn't prepared for her split grade class because I was planning to teach the 4 year olds and 5 year olds the same thing. :rolleyes: Since that would just be so aweful...she doesn't understand anything, it's like she forgets what it's like to be a student. And today I found out that her older sister was my kindergarten teacher, and lets just say that I hated kindergarten and this relation makes a lot of sense. :rolleyes:

Haha, I'll try not to let it. ;)

The manner in which my bank account mysteriously shifted from, "Deny her the use of her card if the money isn't there" to, "Let her keep getting fined $33 for every sandwich, cup of coffee, donation to charity, etc until not even a biweekly direct deposited paycheck will cover the overdraft fees she will incur! Mwahahahahaha we are bankers!"

In England that could be cockney rhyming slang...as this is a family site I'll leave you to work it out.

Having really good books for months but not the time to read them. :confused:

Getting up at 7:30 to go to a class that you expected to be an important exam review, since it's the last lecture of the year, only for it to be "let's look at odd psychology related comic strips" time. *is bored and tired*

I assign my old, mostly worn out car hood release, which most of the time I can't pull hard enough to get the hood open. It's not good to be rattling because I'm out of oil for days at a time. :(

I can commiserate... I have an oil leak, and my dad talks to me about it like I understand car-talk. I hate the rank scent of dripping oil burning on my hot engine... It makes me seriously worried my truck's going to burst into flames or something.

Large amounts of snow falling in April. Common but unpleasant. :mad:

You don't like snow? I thought that it was wonderful; a fresh layer of snow to cover the grime of break-up. :)

I very much concur with this perspective. Remember your Gandalf:

"For even the very wise cannot see all ends."

I definitely assign your doctor's nurse leaving a message on your answering machine four days after you've had a mammogram, and all it says is, "call me back" -- this late on a Friday afternoon, so you can't call back until Monday, and you know that last year, they left a message that said everything was normal. I may lose my mind before Monday....

It's probably nothing, though, Ibrin. My mother had a false alarm like that earlier this year.

Oh, I know that the odds strongly favor it being nothing, but I am a chronic worrier, and though my therapist and I are working on that, the imps of the perverse are hard to shut up. I know that at the worst, it's probably a cyst, since I am already a cyst-y person, but... My mom spent nearly two years painfully deteriorating and dying from breast cancer. It leaves a mark. Thanks for the vote of confidence, it's appreciated.

And.....

Just got off hold with the doctor's office -- and it was a screw-up. They'd misread my permissions and thought they weren't supposed to leave messages. Everything's fine. Now I assign to Mordor idjits who think they aren't supposed to leave messages who leave cryptic and ominously uninformative ones instead. :p

Wow that's a long answer to ask for!
Well, I would start with sexists, racists, teachers who teach for the bloody MONEY, corrupt politicians, people who judge others based on their religion (including atheism), people who judge others on the basis of which college they went to, people who just think they are SO the cat's whiskers, people who are incredibly ungrateful for what they have and just keep saying 'my life sucks' when it actually rocks compared to most people, Stephenie Meyer (she killed literature), snooty people who think anything unrelated to science is useless (or vice versa), people who don't care about the environment...
Phew! There are also a few people who deserve to be cast into Orodruin, but that's a but too personal, so I wont say any more :p May Iluvatar burn their souls.

Galadriel, as your alter-ego (points to screen-name), it's only fitting then that I should assign: looking for a present for my cousin, and finding that the "young adult" section of the bookshop is now wall-to-wall vampire romance.

*sigh*

Well, as Simon Cameron said: "An honest politician is one who when he is bought, will stay bought."

Politicians are like a baby's diapers: they should be changed often, and for the same reason.

Arise, arise, Riders of Theoden! We must unite against evil! As I did stand my watch upon the stairs, anon methought there were sparkling vampires on the shelves! HENCE, HOME, YOU IDLE CREATURES! Get you home! Oh, you blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!
Sorry :p

Yeah, because they're full of...

The first daughter of Hurin and Morwen.