Just a really big rat.

Who REALLY is Tom Bombadil?

A: my father.


Q: what is Golem

A (v. 1.0): "Golem" would have been the great-great-great-great-great-great-granduncle of Deagol, had he lived.

A: (v. 2.6): What is Gollum? Gollum wasn't. He was merely a figment of Bilbo's (and everyone else's) imagination.

Q: Why didn't Bilbo just keep the ring?

A: gandalf was going to cut his fingers off


Q: why didnt frodo keep the ring???

Stupid Question.
 

Why are you guys asking stupid questions.
Answer- You have to much time on your hands.

OrcLeaderalpha, I suggest you read the first post of thread before you post yourself.

A: The tax on magical rings was going up.

Q: Why didn't Galadriel turn Gimli into a rat?

Disclaimer: This only applies to movie-Gimli
A:Because not even rats would accept a plot-line that includes them burping.

Q: How long is the Straight Road?

A: Not very. But it's really wide.

Q: What kind of elf was Legolas?

Q: What kind of elf was Legolas?

Homo Elvis Heartthrobius

Q: What kind of dwarf was Gimli?

A - The bearded kind.

Q - What is the best way to stop Aragorn in a battle?

Q - What is the best way to stop Aragorn in a battle?[/QUOTE]

A: Offer him a lollypop, he's always been fond of them...

Q: How many teeth did Glaurung have?

A: None. He had to stare at his prey until it liquified.

Q: Do Balrogs have fins?

A: Of course. How else could they swim? :p

Q: What is the story of Beren and Luthien about?

Kind of like Romeo and Juliet... they both die eventually.


Why does Shelob like to eat people?

A - On the contrary! She hates it! But, due to racial stereotyping everyone assumes she does. When she chased Frodo she merely wanted to give him a potato. But did Frodo believe her? NO! He made an assumption based only on appearances! She accidentally knocked him out and, to stop him from hurting himself, she wrapped him in a nice warm blanket of her own making. She thought Sam was after her new guest! :eek:

Q - Why did Saruman use the Palantir?

A: He tried to watch Monty Python's Flying Circus, but accidentally put on the wrong channel.

Q: Why did Sam call Bill the pony Bill?

A: To always remember his first love, none other than the (in)famous Bill Ferny

Q: Aragorn is given the name Estel and also Elessar and a plethora of nicknames. Didn't he ever get confused with everyone calling him a different thing?

Q: Aragorn is given the name Estel and also Elessar and a plethora of nicknames. Didn't he ever get confused with everyone calling him a different thing?

A: Yes. That's why it took him so long to remember he was the king of Gondor.


Q: Why did Gollum call the Ring his 'preciousss'?

A: because he was stuck in that cave all alone with the ring he fell in love with it.

Q:HOW MANY FELL BEASTS ARE THERE LEFT

Thirteen. They are feasting on the shire.

Why did Frodo not join Sauron? (he should have)

He would have, but on his way to Sauron's little home he stopped by Mt. Doom and accidentally tossed that little ring of his on to the fires. Needless to say that Sauron wasn't impressed, he was so dissapointed he left Middle Earth for good.

Q: were the spiders in Mirkwodd under the command of The Necromancer (aka Sauron) when Bilbo and the dwarves were there?

A: Yes. Sauron paid them per traveler eaten.

Q: Why didn't Eru just smite Melkor down where he stood?

A: Because he lost his Smiting-Banjo-of-Smiting-ness somewhere in the Void.

Q: Why do elves like archery?

Because they can make fun of dwarves for getting splinters.

How come everyone likes Legolas?

A - He has a good PR manager.

Q - How long did it take to build Barad-Dur?

A product warning
 

A: Three days. It was constructed in prefabricated sections built by Messrs Bodgit and Leggit, engineers to the evil and mysterious. Aside from selecting the appallingly constructed Five Minute Fortress (since withdrawn from sale on safety grounds), Sauron's mistake was to entrust the final assembly to those Orcs deemed unfit for other duties. Since 'other duties' meant anything from raiding into Eriador to sewing buttons onto the Mouth of Sauron's third-best tunic, the modules were assembled in the wrong order and not properly secured. What caused the collapse described in The Return of the King was not the destruction of the One Ring, but an ill-advised scouring of the guttering. This removed centuries of moss and weeds that had been doing rather an effective job of holding the entire structure together.

Q: Who was the tallest ever hobbit until SR 1419 and the inventor of golf?

Q: Who was the tallest ever hobbit until SR 1419 and the inventor of golf?
Well, that would clearly have to be Deagol, of the River Folk;
who was approximately four foot three. He did, however, have delicate little hands, which may explain his inability to strangle his shorter, but larger-handed cousin.

Did hobbits ever crossbreed with humans, elves or dwarves?

A: Of course. How else do you think Santa's elves were created? Or better yet the Keebler elves?

Q: Why did Arwen give up her immortality for Aragorn? Did she really love him?

A: no she wanted his money


Q: can hobits die ???

A - This is a common misconception. There was, in the early third age, a competition held by the Bree landers to see which race could make the most colourful clothing. The Hobbits lost and so the term flew around Middle Earth, "Hobbits cannot dye".
This has been mistranslated some times as Hobbits cannot Die. Which they can.

Q - How heavy was Tom the Troll?

A: He was as heavy as bom the troll.


Q:HAVE DWARVES EVER CROSSBREED WITH MEN

A: Of course, what do you think Hobbits are?

Q: Why wasn't Celeborn given a Ring of Power?

A- He was, but he dropped it and broke it. :(

Q - Why did Smaug travel to the Lonely Mountain anyway?

A: He heard it was a really nice vacation spot.

Q: What were Frodo's parents out boating for anyway?

Q: What were Frodo's parents out boating for anyway?
A: They were trying to reach the Undying Lands by rowboat - and they did!

Q: Why did Aragorn and his buddies bother to protect Bree?

A - Because they were the only ones that knew that underneath Bree was an abundance of Gold beyond the dreams of men! :eek:

Q - What's 'Taters'?

A: Taterss, preciousss, nassty, nassty things that that nassty hobbit likess to eatses. Even threatened us with them once, he did.

Q: Why can't dead orcs move?

A: because it hurts too much


Q: WHAT IS AN ORC??

A: 21st century (of our age) angsting young people that have been doing strange rituals and somehow got themselves into the past. The prosess had a side-effect that turned them into Orcs.

Q: How do Dragons manage to fly?

A: Using fairy dust, of course (yes, it does exist). :p

Q: Where can fairy dust be found in Middle-earth?