Unfortunately, when Eru decided to make a new Arda, Mount Doom was once again given wheels. Even after Sauron gave specific instructions for the Orcs not to on the grounds that he didn't want the only place where the ring could be destroyed roaming around again. But it was too late.

Fortunately, Eru made the wheels square by mistake.

Unfortunately, Eru didn't get them to be the rectangles that he wanted.

Fortunately, Frodo was already climbing up it with the Ring.

Unfortunately, as Mt Doom jerked about with its square wheels, Frodo fell from the peaks of the mountain, plumatting to presumed death.

Fortunately, presumed death is much better than normal death and it meant that Frodo now had the element of surprise while Mount Zoom was being re-fuelled.

Unfortunately, Frodo wasn't presumed dead. He was dead.

Fortunately, it was only one of the Frodo
doubles that Gandalf had prepared
for just such an emergency, so Sam
was heard to call out: "Frodo lives!"

Unfortunately, that blew his cover.

Fortunately nobdy really cared anyways

Attempting to bring back something long-forgotten...
 

Unfortunately, Boromir the Disco King challenged Frodo to a dance contest over the Ring.

Fortunately, Boromir had neglected his disco dancing for so long that Frodo won.

Unfortunaltey, Frodo was getting a bit tired of this whole 'ring thing' and decided would give it to the first person he met.

Fortunately, Boromir refused it on the condition that he get remedial dance lessons.

Unfortunately this meant Boromir never regained his previous talent at dancing, and the Ring went to Sauron, who happened to be the next person Frodo met.

Fortunately during the dance-off competitions it was little known that Sauron had a career change and he gave the ring to charity, which was about a 300 trillion dollars worth.

Unfortunaltey, the charity had nobody to sell it too, because nobody had that much money. So even though it was worth 300 trillion dollars, it was really worthless. Because nobody could buy it.

Fortunately, they lowered the worth to the highest value that someone could buy it at, which was one BILLION dollars! Muhahaha!! *insert evil grin here*

Unfortunately, while all this maths was being worked out, the Ring had been stolen!

Fortunately it had been stolen by Sauron who's career change had been from 'evil ruler of the world' to 'petty thief' but then he donated it back to the charity as he didn't really have much use for it.

Unfortunately, he donated it to the Evil Impersonators of Sauron Club

Fortunately . . .
 

. . . he gave them the Impersonating Ring, not the real One.

Unfortunately, just as Sauron decided to be good and nice from now on (having just discovered the secret to world peace) he was run over by a speeding volcano. But what was more unfortunate was the fact that he had given them the Real One ring out of the kindness of his heart before he died.

Fortunately, Mount Zoom went on a rampage and destroyed all of Middle-Earth. Therefore, the new owner of the One Ring got run over.

Unfortunaltey, Minas Tirith strove against teh power of Mt. Zoom on the rampage and the strain proved to great and teh world burst assunder!

Fortunately, during the stife, a young Hobbit nicked off with the ring and took it to the Mountain.

Unfortunately for Mt. Zoom, the hobbit actually managed to drop the ring into the Cracks of Doom, causing the mountain to explode and making Sauron stay dead.

Fortunately, the explotion damaged the mountain in such a way that it could never again have wheels and therefor it was from that moment forth known as Mount Doom (or Amon Amarth, The Fiery Mountain, The Fire-mountain, Mountain of Fire, Orodruin)

Unfortunately, some strange creatures from the future came by and attached hover devices to the Mountain and it began to fly off into the sky, scorching birds as it went.

Fortunately, Gondor had been developing an anti-air missile to help with the Nazghul fell beasts and they shot down Mt. Doom, then they wielded it into place making sure it will not get wheels, hover-craft, legs, tracks or be carried around by any kind of living or undead creature

Good lord NO! ;)

Unfortunatley, the Lord Denethor passed a law that the ring, Mt. Doom or Sauron could never be mentioned again. ever.

Fortunately, this allowed Gimli to start eating what he had found originally and which started all this mess

Unfortunately, he was inexplicably transformed into a large cockroach.

Fortunately this meant he could now withstand a nuclear holocaust.

Unfortunately, he could not withstand the giant rock that fell on his head.

Fortunately, the Colnol(sp?) came by and stopped this sillyness and we commenced with the story.... uh... Johnny the Stinky Balrog was sitting by the lake one day and decided to vist Mirkwood!

Unfortunately, Johnny fell off a huge cliff. (And no, he doesn't have wings!)

Fortunatley, Johnny the Stinky Balrog is huge as well. actually huger than the cliff. so we wasn't hurt when he fell off.

Unfortunately he rolled into the lake
with the Watcher (who was really ticked off,
having to regrow some tenacles after disco
Boromir and his fellowship had passed by).

Fortunatley, they knew one another from the BSBBC (Big Scary Beings Bridge Club)