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Yeah, if you're interested in P&A then a quick reminded from the archive might be useful after the Alien's Dad break. Just so you know.

Also, an idea has been floated for an animated version of Volume Three. What do you guys think? I could even farm out to some of you for voice talents if we get that far...

Shouldn't that be Beef®? :p

<3 this P&A! :D "You're not SUPPOSED to escape!" I love it!

*giggles* Hilarious P&A...so did Alien go to Arda Cup through the hole in the prison wall, and then come back and board it up? :p

....but I don't have a silly hat. Can I wear my pink and white Princess baseball hat instead?

On a more serious note, I think I shall read through the entire P&A archive, and the past issues of the newspaper as soon as I get a chance...as far as an animated version of P&A, it sounds wonderfully funny, though I'm afraid my voice is as high pitched as a little kids, so I would not make a good voice talent.

Alien SLEEPS?!?

He sure does. As was established WAAAAYYY back in episode three of the first ever volume!

It's the News you chose to lose!

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If you get the reference here, you've been reading P&A for a LONG time, my friend. Evil Mayo is back on the menu! Don't tell Morsul the Dark, though.

I made it into the newspaper...:eek: Yay! :D I promise not to shoot any of you guys, my family on the other hand.....

...now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hide from the Ents. In my defense, the shield was for a school project. :p Unless there's people other then me making paper shields?

.............WASN'T ME!!! *Runs and hides*

On a side note....EVIL MAYO!!! XD

Evil Mayo!

But the Evil Mayonnaise wasn't really such a long time ago. Because if it was, that makes me one of those ancient Downers. Huh.

Praise Eru! The News is just as true as it ever was...

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Sweet Baba Yaba! Phalian is getting to a sticky situation and no mistake! The plan unfolds. The digital watch of DEATH! It has... Powers... probably.

Hope and pray that the Time-Traveling Fish never teams up with the Dimension-Hopping Walrus.

In other news, in what variety of liquid would you drwon?

No, no, no! You've got it all wrong! I am a hobbit actually. What? You thought I had a beard? That's preposterous! No, I do not have a beard.

... Ah poop. Fixed. :o

wwA. I was rather looking fowrard to buying some awter.

Lies. You're totally a dwarf.

Not ancient, you're just of a certian vintage. Anyway, it was only recently that I have learned of the deplorable subastance known as "low-fat mayonnaise". Now I have a deeper appriciation for its powers of corrosiveness and tunnel-clearing.

Get your news coat on, folks!

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The Downer would like to assure the public that no phones were hacked into to get these stories. So, Laurinquë, you don't need to worry about those terrible rumours getting out.
...
Wait...

What a load of pants, give us real news, you're becoming a comic like that News of the World........ I'd like my pants hacked please............ pfffft.

Well, if ducks are being glued to everyone's pants, it's a good thing I have on a dress. :p

Also, that one story made my head hurt. Spell check is a gift from Eru, that should not be neglected...*

Especially when murder confessions are being made...

Whatever the BWH has in his hands looks very much like the BD mug I made for myself in art class when I was fifteen.

Well, boil my face and skin my shoes! It's time for the news!

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I'm not entirely sure what's going on in today's episode of P&A. Just some silly banter between our two heroes while they're in prison.
Next week there may be something of more substance. No promises, though. ;)

Joel, you are scary. It's like you knew that just a month ago, I was playing a Star Wars RPG with some friends, and we killed a Crate Dragon (or however it's spelled) and stole its eggs. The GM asked us if we wanted to try and hatch the eggs, or sell them.

I announced that I wanted to make an omelette out of mine.

And then I rolled to see how good of an omelette it would be, and I rolled a 20. It was deemed the best dragon egg omelette ever, and I fed it to my companions and we all got a +1 bonus for the rest of the "day" because of the lingering awesomeness of the omelette.

Hi guys!!

I'm going to be giving the Downer a rest for three weeks - mostly due to Finlandmoot. Also, I think I really need to get away from it for a while and come back to it with a fresh set of eyes and possibly a new layer of skin.
Feel free to post your own rival newspapers while I'm away, if you wish. ;)
THEY WILL BE JUDGED!

But, for this week only, here's a P&A!!

The Felagundion comes to this side of the Downs.
 

THE DOWNER DISAPPEARS IN A PUFF OF SMOKE

Barrowdowns, Eriador - The weekly newspaper known as the Downer has ceased publication after 256 issues, triggering a strong reaction among the community of wights.

Said one Oddwen: 'What will I use to clean up after my dog?'

According to the Barrow-wight Himself: 'This is preposterous! I just filed a libel suit against them!'

the phantom was quoted as saying: 'I finally get a rest from that highly fictional account of my life--Ah, blast, it's still there.'

Media personnel from other news groups, heretofore quashed in these parts due to the monopoly of The Downer, have converged at the scene of the disappearance, the printing press owned by one H. the Goomba, esq. Nothing was left of the said place, not even a crater or a brick, save for a note saying: 'Finlandmoot. Be back in three weeks.'

There have been rumours that the Barrowdowns Internal Revenue department has been preparing a tax evasion case against the aforementioned H. the Goomba, and that he has fled after hearing that a summons has been prepared and would be sent today.

According to Thenamir, head of the BIR: 'What tax evasion case? We don't even have a currency here! Unless you count barrels of ale as one.'

Reporters have contacted known citizens of Finland, but so far there has no response. Although a statement has been received from Thinlómien.

'Penguins, after him!'

Our field reporters shall continue this investigation after proper protection against penguins have been provided for. (Agence Felagundion Presse)

DRAGON ESCAPES

Due to a miscalculation by the orcs on duity a dragon snapped it's chain and flew off. Sauron himself flayed the orcs and sent a legion after the escaped Dragon. The Dragon left a mile of disturction through Mordor before exiting over the surounding mountains, leaving a little more then 3500 orcs dead. Warning: Sauron's not happy and the Witch-King has been seen.


MORGOTH RETURNS!

The Top Tower - A spokesorc has announced earlier today that the First Dark Lord Melkor "Morgoth" Bauglir has returned after a very long vacation. The Second Dark Lord has been noted to have said, "You [butt hole]! I told you not to announce his return! How dare you defy me, you [poop head]. I haven't yet figured out a way to get rid of him with out him knowing!" The spokesorc hasn't been seen since.

HE PLANS TO STOP THE PRINTING OF NEWSPAPER

805th floor - After the announcement of the First Dark Lord's return He has threatened Oddwen, the owner and editor of the Barad-Dûr Newspaper, that He will stop the printing of newspapers in Mordor if anything else is printed without His approval.
"What rubbish." Oddwen said, shaking, after meeting with the Second Dark Lord and God of All. "I have never printed anything that would suggest I don't support Him."


GOD OF ALL HAPPY AFTER ATTACK, DESTRUCTION
After an attack on a boarder city that left 115 dead and many houses burning the God of All is happy. God, silver, precious gems and an escaped Dragon were taken from the city earlier today. The Dragon is rumoured to be the same one that escaped yesterday. The town was up all night trying to evict the dragon an failed to see the oncoming legion that Our God sent after it.

This actually happened
 

Sure. :)

Once upon a time in a land flowing with beer and wurst, a stranger appeared. He was called Messy and his dress sense changed with the seasons. Quite often he would be observed window shopping in the most absurd manner possible.

This made Aganzir consider a new fetish - after all, she hadn't considered how attractive fish could be when skinned and boned - frying them though ruined it all. Nevertheless she strolled along until she met Hookbill who was carrying the phantom in his arms to the church. They had decided to get married and invited all the Barrow-Downers to the reception. Of course, this was a bad decision, in hindsight, as that included Thinlómien, who delighted in stealing the topper off the cake and generally causing an awkward silence broken only by Kath poking Shastanis Althreduin's guts with a stick.

Shasta, obviously, didn't quite approve, but having lost his arms and legs in a battle two years previously, there was little enough he could do about it. So Shasta was forced to join the guerilla gorillas, an infamous band of outlaws led by the fearless Redface Nogrod. Shasta soon became Nogrod's right-hand man and together they became known as the Terror Troop of the Wild West. Nothing could stop them until Sheriff Oddwen showed up and gunned Nogrod with her pink Kalashnikov. Nogrod died and was buried in the corner of the Central Park, right next to a playground. Five years later Lommy & Legate's child found his body and ate it, as she had been trained to do since birth by evil Auntie Aganzir.

Lommy howled at this and laid Legate's severed head at Volo's feet. Aganzir cackled in malicious glee and threw acid into the face of oncoming traffic!! It was so brutal that two exclamation marks were needed!! Both times. But not on the third time.

Anyway, people were getting bored and one by one they slipped away to play Apples to Apples. But it was not long till some of the ideas tossed around started to annoy morm, so we got nothing coherent out of him for quite some time. Not that we needed anything. Nogrod came up with the brilliant plan to make money by hiring the souls of his fellow Downers - those few who had souls obviously. He even tried selling Oddwen Malice's soul - for a ludicrous discounted price of two dollars and a cigarette, but Squatter had quit smoking years ago and got second thoughts almost the minute he made his offer.

Unfortunately for him, she accepted, and their baby was born nine months later. They named her Auschwitz-Birkenau because she was the most dreadful thing in the world. Well, right after Aganzir's twin sister Sharia, anyway.

**

Note: I didn't write this. Alone.

For some reason I thought you were satansaloser2005. Sounds like something she would write.

After an unexplained absense the staff of the Downer suddenly returned, telling tales of blackmail and threats to family members. But, all that really matters is that the news is here again!

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Thanks to Nilp, Blind Guardian and Aganzir for keeping this thread not-on-fire while the police investigated claims that none of the Downer staff had been involved in any hacking scandal. Obviously, we could not allow such accusations to go unchallenged. We hacked SO MANY phones, let me tell you!

It is rumoured that there are records of The Phantom and Alien's holidays in some obscure country. For what it's worth, I hold a document that provides pictorial evidence:

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Now a very special GERMAN version of the Phantom and Alien!! :o


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I think only Finlandmooters might appreciate this week's P&A. Sorry about that.

Hahaha! :D

No, just provide a link to the "I met a fellow BDer" thread and everybody will appreciate it... Although I still don't get where the joke came from... Everyone is just Wursting everyone else...

Oh, and -

++Skolo :smokin::p


By the way, how on earth do you pronounce the SCHWACHOPF word?

I'd rep you for the last two issues but I'd have to spread some reputation around first. In any case, I like flame throwers, cracked up at the picture of Legate and loved Phantom & Alien! :cool:

It began with Hookbill trying to impress us Germans by speaking in our native tongue, but his efforts didn't go much further than "Das ist (k)eine Wurst" (or so he claimed). How and why that developped into a running gag is a quantum level mystery that defies exact reconstruction, and experts are still divided on whether or not Jon Snow had anything to do with it; they agree, however, that Squatter was definitely involved.

'ʃvaxkɔpf.

As to the Mr Cool rivalry, I'm afraid I'll have to abstain from voting, having lost my impartiality together with my heart to a certain Swede on the ship back from Tallinn (sorry, Volo!). But I can safely say that whatever Volo's hat is made of, the hats of both contestants have been worn by an entire universe of people.

O-kaaay... *nods as if she understands* :D

I get the general idea, though, kinda, maybe.


Oh, and -

Shoes yes good to eat, says Mr. Chaplin. :p:smokin:

GET YER NEWS ON!!

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Oh my! The time travel hat!?! Do you guys even remember that thing? Even I barely do!

I am soooo confused. What is death about and why are you bringing up the Hat?

Moving on...

For some reason not all of the newspapers have been loading for me. That might just be the internet...

PS I love how phantoms eyes change.

PSS why is there a fake Alien and a real Alien?

PSSS nevermind I read back through the comic archive thingy.

Agh! Sorry I forgot to upload this at the usual time...

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Hope this is make you all happy! If not, please send your complaints to the Barrow Wight Himself. He'll deal with them, I sure won't. :p

The plot twists again!

So many hats!

SPANKYPANTS I hate you! Or love you, haven't decided yet. :D:D

♥

The previous issue was also terrific - it actually made me crack up at the uni library. I just never got around to praising it on the Downs.