Fortunately, a Balrog sneezed on him.

Unfortunately, Balrog snot burns off hedgehog prickles, leaving him bald as a naked mole rat.

Unfortunately, he actually sneezed on Frodo who gained super human abilities from Galadriel. Secretly of course.

Fortunately for Frodo, he passed a daughter of
the fox who was still trying to work out what happened
to those hobbits that had passed her father by in the
shire, and Frodo thought it would be cool to give
superpowers to a fox, so he did so, and then finally
was able to go rowing to catch up to Gandalf sailing west.

Unfortunately it was an EVIL FOXY LADY VIXEN CREATURE!!!! And now it had Super-Powers!!

Fortunately, the most ugly creature in the universe picked up the Ring and so the fox creature was so horrified that it melted.

Unfortunately, I used the Ring to make myself beautiful and everyone else look like a partially melted evil foxy lady vixen creature.

;) :rolleyes: :eek:

Fortunately, Luthien and Arwen, on a
girls only holiday away from the
Halls of Waiting (their mates were getting
really antsy after a few thousand years of
non-orc slaying) convinced the
evil foxy lady vixen creature to come over
from the Dark Side (they'd been watching
the good first three made Star Wars movies
at a metroplex in Valinor.
(The valar were having some licensing
problem with dvds).

Unfortunately, though the evil foxy lady vixen creature wanted to come, she was melted three or four posts ago and stuck to the floor. She let Pippin go instead.

But fortunately, the melted fox was only an
experimental clone, so now
the evil foxy lady vixen creature
had to go with Pippin, who of
course couldn't go without Merry,
and they of course couldn't go without their
wives, all of whom needed horses,
which got so complicated that Luthien
and Arwen told them to forget the
whole thing and convinced Manwe
to take away any foxes superpowers and give them to,
IN an amazing plot twist........
THE SON OF GOLLUM!
(would he be good or evil?) :cool:

Unfortunately, he was evil. And ugly. And angsty. But he did like Star Wars.

Fortunately, in case you forgot, the most ugly creature in the universe still had the Ring.

Unfortunately I'm beautiful now, and have claimed the world, and me and Son of Gollum decided to hold a All Hail the Master--(oops, pardon me) MISTRESS of the Universe Party.

Wait. The beautiful bit is fortunate. It's just the Mistress of the Universe bit that has people worried.

Fortunately (for those desiring Middle-earth domination)
only characters derived from the legendarium can
aspire to Middle-earth dominion (although other
areas such as Hogwarts or Narnia are open to control)
so Son of Gollum, also known as Smeagol Jr./Gollum the Lesser,
convinced the ugliest creature in the universe to give him
Ring Five (or is it Six :confused: ) which had just
a dash of the power of the original ring, but enough
for him to open a giant fish factory in Osgiliath
(financial backing provided by Elessar and
their silent partner Shelob, hey, a giant spider's got
to eat).

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...oomba/Zoom.jpg It's back!

Unfortunately, the self-proclaimed master (sorry, mistress) of the universe was squished by a mysterious volcano with wheels. She were buried in the lava that was left by the Zooming Mountain.

Unfortunately, convinced suddenly of my own non-existence, I (what's left of me)disappear in a puff of orange smoke to pursue my dreams of world-domination elsewhere.

Canada...anyone have dibs on Canada?

Fortunately, Eru who had been taking a coffee break on the veranda was suddenly struck with a memory that Arda had been brought about somehow, by himself, and soon returned to place Middle Earth, in what it always has been, Arda. The one ring was included into this reboot by means of a sneaky virus, which just happened to be an unfashionable creature called Gollum. Who soon took upon a rat-race with a orc, a few oliphants, and Frodo ( with or without Sam).

~ Aesthete

Enough of that. . .
 

Unfortunately, at the same time Elrond the Swindler was stealing candy frome hobbit children.

Fortuantely, every hobbit child that he met was having its birthday celebration. He only thought he was stealing. But that works out just right. It satasfies Elrond's need to dominate those weaker than himself, without really hurting anyone.

Unfortunately, all the candy gave Elrond a stomachache, and a large cavity.

Fortunately, The Mouth of Sauron's dentist was in Rivendell for a visit and he fixed that cavity up right away.

Unfortunately, the dentist went a bit mad and tried to cut Elrond's lips off.

Fortunately, religious aliens came by and turned Middle-Earth into a big ball of glass, killing the dentist before he could attack Elrond.

Unfortunately, the attacking aliens decided to attack Elrond, anyway.

Fortunately, Elrond was not known as the Swindler for no reason. In a cunning way he got the aliens to surrender all their weapons to him, change middle-earth to what it used to be, give him 10.000 barrels of coal and go home.

Unfortunately for the aliens, Eru got ticked off
that they had tried to mess with Middle-earth
and sent them to the most horrible
place imaginable, the movie remake of The Pink Panther. :eek:

Fortunately, the dentist forgot all about Elrond and went back to Mordor and Elrond went for a walk in the countryside.

Unfortunately Elrond's dental hygenist (the only one
resident in Rivendell) had recently
married Strider, thus revealing the true reason
movie Elrond was opposed to Arwen's going to Gondor to live.
(Boy, is that guy one selfish elf! Like they don't have
toothaches in Gondor!)

Fortunately, Elrond was so desperate that he hired the only other known dental expert in the area: Saruman. He ain't called "the White" for nothin'!

Unfortunately, Saruman's dental hygenist is Wormtongue. :p

Fortunately, Wormtongue actually did have a great deal of knowledge about dentistry, much more so than it would appear

Unfortunately, Arwen mistook Wormtongue for Glorfindel and she knocked him off his horse, hid him in a bush and stole his horse. She was in a rush to get to Gondor because of all the poor dental hygiene.

Fortunately, a passing Oliphaunt gave Wormtongue a ride.

Unfortunately, it insisted that Wormtongue give him a ride after 10 minuets! :eek:

Fortunately, it was a very small Oliphaunt and it's name was Iggy.

Unfortunately, this meant it couldn't carry Wormtoung very fast or very far.

Fortunately, it went through osmosis and turned into a Nazgul.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . osmosis-formed Nazgûl has a lifespan of two seconds. After that, it explodes.

Fortunately, the Nazgul caught a ride on an ATP stallion and headed for the Golgi Apparatus highway of Rivendale...


~ Aesthete

Unfortunately, Gondor was calling for help because of the dental hygiene disaster and the ATP got spent while activating an Enzyme that would catalize the production of a chemical messegner, turning the ATP into ADP

Which it all means the ATP was no more and the REALLY soon to explode Nazghul had no longer a ride.