Neither was the creature that actually wrote that particular poem. ;)

Elrond: Come on, is it that much of a chore to take a nice family picture to send to Celebrian? Elrohir, you get rid of these things immediately, that was not amusing. And Estel, stop pretending to pick your nose, please.

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

...Elrond notices the 'poop' on his best armour: "I'm gonna kill that dirty pigeon".



Sorry if you were eating your tea... ;)

What!? How did you...wow you're amazing :eek:. ;)


Elrong begins to zone out in the midst of battle as he compiles "Ode to a Lump of Green Putty I found in my Armpit this Morning" (to quote an earlier caption :p).

Jusr relecting on how I feel Right now...
 

Elrond: I hate Mondays...



~A Very Saaaad Ka~ :(

Aragorn confers with Elrond regarding Arwen . . .
 

Aragorn: You see! *points at the picture* You were a dirty (literally) old man like me, too.

Elrond: Once. Just once I tried the greasy look. Never again. *to self* I knew I should have burned that picture . . .

After the final tomato was thrown, Elrond decided that he would never put on a kabuki play for the Orcs again.


OR

Elrond: *Watches Legolas in the distance* How does Legolas manage to stay so sparkly clean after fighting an army of blood-filled orcs in a mudhole? I swear that guy is made of Teflon or something!

Neither was the creature that actually wrote that particular poem. ;)

True but it has been a while ( I read the Hitch-hikers as they were issued..and my hardback first edition of "So Long......" is treasured not only because it is one of the few presents my father ever bought me :P

"Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Asgoths of Crea. During a recitation by their poetmaster Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in my Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the mid-galactic Arts Knobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain."

*Elrond thinks * Lucky for Elros that we are separated beyond the end of the world... he chooses mortality, gets to be king of a nice little island for five hundred years then DIES and leaves me with a crowd of useless realtives.. alienate the Valar, trash the island, come crawling back and its "Uncle Elrond this and Uncle Elrond that and you find you have all their wives and children eating their heads off at Imladris and not lifting a finger while you have to fight in yet another war .. then ask them to do a little thing like chuck something on the fire ....and will they do it? Will they ..."

Legolas meets Advertisement!!
 

Legolas (Answering over a long distance...): The secret is... AquaNet! For three easy payments of 4.99 you too can have perfectly flawless hair, with extra EXTRA hold!!! and If you call right now, we will throw in our free AquaNet smooth comb!Garenteed to get the job done! FREE from US to YOU!!! :D <--- Fake corporate grin...

Heh. Yes, I know. You are amazed by my dry humour... You may throw trinkets now...

~Ka~

*throws small strange looking shiny things at Ka*

AH! Polyphonic glass Ponies and clowns! Don't fail me AquaNet! * Ka spray's its "Robert Smith" hairdo...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally, at the six minute mark, Elrond calls to order AquaNet with a free comb included.

Elrond: I hope this works... *applies gel with caution

Legolas: *Sniff, sniff I smell... AquaNet! Another happy Minion, er....I mean Customer!

Six hours later...

Elrond: Hmm... i wonder how long this stuff lasts? i might as well add more...

That night:

Elrond: Ok, time to wash the fabulous hair. This stuff is great! Not a hair lose... i wonder what it's made o... AHHH!!!! MY HAIR! MY HAIR!!
Elrond suddenly notices that by washing and tugging his hair, and with the amount of AquaNet applied, he reached a new level of pain... and baldness.

Hope you like. :)

After winning the battle of Dagorlad, Elrond and his buddies got drunk. They got a massive hangover and woke up three thousand years later.

Elrond: Not again . . . this is the last time I let Men do the after-battle stuff!

At Dagorlad...
 

Elrond: "Blimey! The Sun came out just like that...

;)

Tommy Copper esque!

Elrond: *thinks* Hmm, I'm not sure about burying the dead in those marshes ...

Elrond: Ooooo. Indigestion.

Elrond: Watch where you're pointing that bow, Glorfindel!

Elrond: "Ha! That Sauron doesn't look so tough. Why, he's not even as big as .... oh wait, that's just another Orc, isn't it?..."

Elendil: "Er, yeah. You see that monstrous figure over there, yeah? That's Sauron."

Elrond: :eek:

Elrond: Did I...leave my stove on? Or was it...the Iron! *slaps head* I just had to have a crisp tunic, didn't I?

Pardon my oddness
 

New pic!
 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...ffireworks.jpg

Gandalf: OK, who ordered the supergiant Balrog burrito?

Gandalf: What happened to my sausages???

Gandalf stared in horror as he realised that he had, in fact, brought WMDs disguised as fireworks to Bilbo's party...

Gandalf's unfortunate fondness for playing with fireworks soon led to him being served with an Anti-Social Behaviour Order.

During a visit to the doctor's office, Gandalf exclaims in unbelief:

"What did you say, Doc?" "I have to insert these new-styled cotton-tipped applicators where?!!"

*Gandalf finally cracks during Pippin's recital of The Merchant of Venice and prepares to assault the Hobbit with some feather dusters.*

Gandalf begs to differ as Boromir says he could disco on the moon.

hey Mannnn!
 

Gandalf becomes confused...

Gandalf: "i thought this was the Cheech and Chong's movie premiere?"

Pippin to Merry: Who's Gandalf talking about?

Merry: I have no clue man... Want another pipe?

Pippin: Sure! Smells good to me!

Pippin in question: Hey, where did you get this leaf any way? It's different from southfarthing...

Merry: Eh, i found it in the back of Gandalf's caravan, next to the fireworks. It was in a box with a picture of a big headed-red faced guy smoking leaf on top. Had to try some before the others got to it.

Pippin: *takes a puff well, you've done well my friend!

Hee hee... I hope i don't get into too much trouble.
~Ka~

When Sam's tinderbox failed, Gandalf was pretty sure he would be able to light the barbecue.....

:mad: hey... That's funny! :D Better than mine at least... I am really starting to wonder now if the Disco King could strut his stuff on the moon... But, he would proably get in the way of Tilion. Like Tilion ever does stay on course for that matter... ;)

~Another Annoying ka Post~

At the Council of Elrond
 

Gandalf: Pshaw! 'Tis folly to send a halfling into the heart of Mordor with the very object that Sauron seeks. I say we go for an all out missile attack. Who's with me?

*Stunned silence*

MallornCard Ad.
 

A trip to Hobbiton: $ 5 000
Fireworks: $ 200
Realising you left your lit pipe back on the fireworks tent: priceless.

Gandalf feels slightly nervous as he turns up for his first rehearsal session with The 4th Hobbiton Baton-Twirlers Group.

*Gandalf was desperate for funds to finance the trip to Mordor. He had been reduced to selling eel meat on sticks for pennies.*

Gandalf: I'm sorry Frodo, for you to get to Mordor before the second Tuesday of next week, we're gonna need to make some adjustments.

Gandalf walks over to cart and pulls out giant bottle rocket.

Gandalf: Just duck tape this to your back and you'll be there faster than a fish out of water.

Frodo: But Gandalf I don't want to....
Gandalf: Oh Frodo quit being and sissy and get over here.

Brain not working today
 

Darn. I need a Nazgul pic, but my computer isn`t working very well at the moment. Any help? :confused:

Gandalf: Hey look! I found the weapons of mass destruction! :eek:
Frodo: Uh... Gandy? Those are marshmellow sticks.
Gandalf: Darn!

Snapshot!
 

http://kefkaproductions.s5.com/nazgulspeedcamera.jpg

Sorry I couldn't find a bigger version of it...

The Nazgul cursed as the hobbiton speed camera caught it...

*Frodo runs into internet difficulties?*

:smokin:

It is rare to catch the black blanket in its natural state. Here we see it riding. Fascinating. Watch as the blanket approaches the apparatus. Next week, don't miss - pillow riding sheep towards microphone.

Smile! You're in candid camera!
Black Rider: dang it! Again!