Fortunately, Sam and Pippin had been searching for the Gaffer to ask him to settle a dispute over the best way to grow taters. They were therefore in the vicinity when the ring was dropped and Pippin picked it up before the Orcs noticed it lying on the ground next to the Gaffer's abandoned garden tools.

Unfortunately Pip thought the Ring was a butterscotch lifesaver and put it in his mouth.

fortunately he spit it out after almost choking on it

unfortunately he spit it out right itno same liquid hot Lava

Fortunately(?!), it fell into liquid hot lava lamp instead, therefore not burning up.

Unfortunately, it was Sauron's lava lamp.

Fortunately, a lava lamp was just was Boromir needed for his disco party, so he took it and headed for Minas Tirith.

Unfortunately Boromir tripped and the glass shattered.

Fortunately the ring was only half-melted after the glass broke and only the evil things were half-destroyed etc.

Unfortunately, they could still run on one foot, fight with one arm and see with one eye.

Fortunately Sam found the half melted Ring and brought it back to Frodo who had now washed his hair.

Unfortunately, Frodo was still ring-possessed.

Fortunately he was only half-ring possessed so he only wanted half of the half of the ring...and a new car

Half of a half of a ring....that's a quarter. Unfortunately, Frodo used that quarter in a gum machine and got...Hey! a plastic novelty one ring!

Fortunately, the other quarter of the ring sprouted legs and started walking along beside Tom Bombadil, who gave it a "Ring Biscuit" and it followed him home.

Unfortunately, again, Tolkien realised that he'd been smoking his pie too much and went in search of his tip-ex (I don't know if you have an American equivalent, but do inform me if you do) to correct his now hole ridden plot.

Tip-ex = White-out ?

Fortunately, Tolkien changed "Fortunately the ring was only half-melted after the glass broke and only the evil things were half-destroyed etc." to read "Fortunately (?), the lava-lamp and ring landed in an ice bucket, instantly cooling the lava and enclosing the unmelted ring in solid rock."

Unfortunately it was the Witch-King of Angmar's Ice-Bucket

Fortunately, the Witchking of Angmar brought the ice bucket with said rock encased ring to Bilbo Baggin's birthday party.

Seems close enough.

Unfortunately, the party had long since finished and so he kept it for himself.

Fortunately he only got to keep the bucket as one of the gardeners charged with removing the drunk hobbits used the ice to wake up some of those too heavy to get into wheelbarrows.

Unfortunately the Ring's evil contaminated the ice and the corrupted hobbits were now trying to get at it.

Fortunately, *yours truly* came and set the hobbits staright, in some nice Rugby teams...you got the Shire Hobbits, and the Buckland Tooks, and the Rivendell Half-elves...and etc...

Unfortunately, a gaping plot hole appeared, destroying the entire storyline.

Fortunately, this meant that the ring was destroyed.

Unofrtunately, with the plot line destroyed, the only availbles character was Duck Dodgers of the 24th and 1/2th century!!!

Fortunately, Christopher Tolkien saw his fathers work being sucked into the plot hole and decided he'd better rite some good stuff before "That blasted duck gets in and ruins it!"

Unfortunately, Christopher failed miserably and the duck escaped and ate him anyway.

Fortunately, John Ronald Ruel, who had been out to find some more weed for his pipe, found the duck running riot and the plot hole sucking his work into oblivion. It was further fortunate that he had just photocopied some of it and managed to write,
"Fortunately, the ring was re-forged and given back to Frodo. Gandalf turned to Frodo and said 'Now, no more of this nonsense, just destroy the thing. But first take a short holiday... Did you enjoy it? Now get on with it!'"

Unfortunately, Frodo had neglected to study maps while on vacation and became lost in Mirkwood.

Fortunatley the same thing happened to the spiders of Mirkwood, who were now lost in the Old Forest

Unfortunately, Frodo fell in the enchanted river! :eek:

Fortunately, that gaping plot hole from a while back had been centred in the middle of the river so there was no water in it and the only ill-effects suffered by Frodo were damaged pride and some bruises.

Unfortunately Frodo was now stuck in a gaping plot hole. :D

Fortunately, after Tolkien’s editing, the hole was not very big and so Frodo was able to get out.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of plot-holes, Frodo was turned into a rather large toad.

fortunatley gandalf appeared and turned him back into a hobbit.

Unfortunately the Ring had been turned into a toad also, and Gandalf forgot to turn it back in to a ring, so it was now hopping away. :p

Fortunately it was captured by some Frenchman in a nearby caastle and threatened to taunt Frodo a second time!

Unfortunately for the Frenchman, Frodo (who does not like to be taunted) whopped him over the head with a frying pan and sneezed.