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Estelyn Telcontar 02-04-2007 03:03 PM

The Return of the Entish Beings (REB III) Planning/Discussion
Did you really think that the adventures of Merisuwyniel and her companions were all over? Well, brace yourself they go on! Since a number of the original writers are now seldom active on the forum, I have decided to continue on my own. This will be a solo RPG with cameos by guest writers. I know thats unusual and hasnt been done on the Downs; fortunately, the Gondor RPG forum provides a location for new ideas and experimental stories.

After The Revenge of the Entish Bow and The Reunification of the Entish Bow, Merisus bow no longer exists as such, but has become the Ent-That-Was-Restored. For a time, he remains in Valleyum, probably hoping against hope that his beloved Entwife will be found someday. In the meantime, Merisu and Gravlox are on their way back to Muddled-Mirth with his squire Windsor Gummidge and with Halfemption (characters created by myself, Mithadan, The Saucepan Man, and Rimbaud and now handled by me with permission of the original writers). They have discovered that Halfemption is actually the missing king of Grundor and have taken up the task of restoring him to his kingdom and to sobriety/sanity/respectability/whatever necessary. Also sailing with them is Gateskeeper; Thenamir will be the first cameo author to join in, returning with his character.

The authorial team of the past two RPGs was fantastic, setting high standards for parody writing. Any past authors are welcome to contribute old or new characters, episodes, plot and storyline ideas, and to comment on this thread. In addition, other members of the Downs who have an idea or character to contribute are welcome to contact me by PM or e-mail [ estelyn(at) ]. Writing on the story thread is by invitation only!

The opening post of the RPG thread will be up soon; additional planning and plotting will be posted here.

Estelyn Telcontar 02-11-2007 11:22 AM

The first post of the (continued) story is up. It briefly sums up where Merisu is and what her situation is for those who have either not read the previous two RPGs or who have forgotten since then. If you'd like to reread them, they can be found here:
The Revenge of the Entish Bow
The Reunification of the Entish Bow

Estelyn Telcontar 02-12-2007 07:08 AM

Some may notice that I have chosen an avatar picture that possibly resembles a certain Elf...

Bthberry 02-12-2007 07:53 AM

Bu... bbbu....bbbuuu...ut. I thought MarySues had red hair, like your previous Asterix avvie.

Don't tell us you're taking a cue from Tolkien and confusing us about elven hair colour.

Bthberry 02-12-2007 08:21 AM

Oh, and, isn't it a tad early in the game for saves? :D

Estelyn Telcontar 02-12-2007 08:34 AM

But saves are an essential part of REB! It can never be too early! ;)

As to Merisu's hair color, I quote:

Originally Posted by Estelyn Telcontar
her waist-length, rippling golden hair

I know, rather clichd, but she does have exotic violet eyes...

Thenamir 02-12-2007 10:53 AM

Esty, do you already have a plan in mind for the Repair of the Ent-questors' Boat? And any specific place or manner you'd like me to jump in with Gateskeeper?

And since confusion is my normal state, I could not precisely judge where we are geographically -- as far as I could tell, we're still in Valleyum, having not yet departed for the Muddled-Mirth Mainland? Correct me if I'm mistaken. Thanks!

The Squatter of Amon Rdh 02-12-2007 11:04 AM

Squatter Revenant
I may have a solution to the boat problem, Thenamir. Estelyn's currently considering various wild ideas that I threw at her this afternoon.

Preparations are underway for my re-enlistment in the REB project, with just a few logistical details (my internet connection) and some storyline elements to be sorted out. This will be a new character, since Earnur Etceteron's agent is charging far too much these days.

Wait: Panacea looks like Merisuwyniel? Is this some diseased fruit of our temporal peregrinations in REB II?

Estelyn Telcontar 02-12-2007 01:23 PM

Oh my, Thena, managing to turn phrases in REBs could be a running joke here! The boat question will be taken care of, but for the first, the travellers have a Mission To Fulfil on the island. More soon - I'll let you know what possibilities Gatesy has. Check out the rhyme for whatever information you can glean from it - or try Malbeth... :rolleyes:

As to location, we are on our way home from Valleyum - see my last post on Part 2 for the boarding of the sailing ship and the farewell from Yawanna and the shores of Valleyum. However, we have not reached Muddled-Mirth yet. Just because you haven't heard of these islands in the Sea doesn't mean they're not there! ;)

Squatter, I'm happy that you will be joining us! We'll work out some of the plot ideas and get you guys into the thick of things just as soon as I finish Hal's post.

Panacea may not be exactly like Merisu, but the image seemed appropriate somehow.

Thenamir 02-12-2007 01:56 PM

Thanks for the clarifications, though I'm sure everyone else understood it perfectly.

One last loose end -- in re-reading the tail-end of REB2, I didn't see what happened to Pimpi and Vogonwe -- they're not on the passenger manifest for the boat trip. Was that an oversight, or are they intentionally honeymooning in Valleyum?

(What a lovely short FanFic it would make, to parody The Honeymooners using Pimpi and Vogonwe in Valleyum...)

Estelyn Telcontar 02-12-2007 02:05 PM

They stayed in Valleyum - when they were last seen, they were looking for some real estate and planning to settle there.

Thenamir 02-12-2007 02:07 PM

A sad loss for the Now-Poetless-Ship, to be sure. Thanks again.

Estelyn Telcontar 02-12-2007 02:27 PM

The save has been filled in - morning dawns, and the various characters will awaken to find the remnants of their boat gone. Could it be that someone has taken it for spare parts? But then, is there even someone besides them on this island? Stay tuned...

Thena, Gatesy could try to make a gadget that helps them to find their location - unfortunately, it probably will not work, without a satellite system. Are there any other gadgets that will help them survive here?

Oh, credit for the closing song in my post for Hal goes to the musical "The Man of La Mancha".

Thenamir 02-13-2007 09:45 AM

OK, now I understand why I was so confused by your first post -- I read the shipwreck of their current boat as if it was Merisu's recollection of the wreck upon their arrival in Valleyum. Now I get it. They've wrecked on a different island on their way back home. Being the over-analytical type is good for computer programming, but bad for most of the rest of life.

In addition to Repo Man gags, hopping from island to island is going to open up the possibility of Gilligan's Island, Tom Hanks' Cast Away (what would be Gormlessar's "Wilson"?), and several other running jokes. I can see Gateskeeper as "the Professor", always trying to invent stuff using only bamboo and coconut shells...

I'll have some time today to work on a Gateskeeper post, and should have it up...on second thought, every time I've made a commitment to a timeframe in REB's past, I've always missed it. Suffice to say it will be up as soon as humanly possible.

Estelyn Telcontar 02-13-2007 12:24 PM

Squatter, what an absolutely smashing (ahem!) post! It's wonderful - my favourite line has to be "boldly going where theyd quite often been before." There are way too many parodic references to mention them all - marvelous stuff! You've created a great new character, plus his intrepid crew. I look forward to whatever comes next.

The Squatter of Amon Rdh 02-13-2007 12:51 PM

Many thanks, Estelyn. I only hope that I haven't used up all the jokes in one post.

I've left Meanderin and his crew out of touch with Merisuwyniel and her companions so that other players can come upon them in whatever way they see fit. I notice that I haven't described Meanderin in any detail, so I'll give you a brief run-down here.

Meanderin is short, skinny, badly shaven and worse dressed, with ungovernable mousy hair, watery eyes and various Homeric accoutrements that don't suit him or, indeed, fit. His crested Spartan helmet keeps falling over his eyes (or dropping off his head entirely from time to time); there is a large gap between his impressively muscled breastplate and his actual breast, and his moth-eaten scarlet cape is ragged at the hem from trailing on the ground behind him. His crew are basically going to be a pastiche of the Argonauts, the sailors of Odysseus' fleet and anyone else from mythology or maritime fiction who can't get out of the way quickly enough. There are enough of them to allow plenty of latitude for names and personalities.

Incidentally, I'm all at sea with Gilligan's Island. I don't think it's ever been broadcast on this side of the Water, and if it has I missed it. I haven't followed Lost either for that matter. I suppose that there's enough fiction about people stuck on islands that even the most remote must be getting crowded by now. What horrors would result, for example, from Treasure Island having to share a mile-square atoll with The Island of Dr. Moreau? Heaven forbid.

Thenamir 02-14-2007 11:38 AM

First Gateskeeper post is up. It's relatively short, and not up to my perfectionist standards, but I didn't want anyone to wait for me. I just couldn't come up with a decent parody episode yet, so it's rather bland. Hopefully, I'll be better inspired as the story progresses.

Estelyn Telcontar 02-14-2007 12:25 PM

It's a great post, Thena! I enjoyed reading it very much - length isn't everything, and sometimes less is more.

I laughed over Gatesy's fishing method and over your descriptions of the crab and fish - fun stuff! I do like his adding McGyver gimmick qualities to his already present PC abilities.

Thenamir 02-14-2007 03:59 PM

Credit where credit is due
Likewise, Esty, what an inventive way to watch TV (Tele-Velour). Will we be seeing more of Clint of the Eastern Wood? Or of the scantily clad warrior princess? Perhaps Xena could be Halfie's temptation on this Isle of Chastity?

And Squatter, Laetninrod of the Red Tunic! My guffaw generator burned out! Well done!

Estelyn Telcontar 02-15-2007 02:17 AM

We're off to a good start! There may possibly be other players joining us; negotiations are taking place behind the scenes. We have some time to explore the island, to meet Squatter's crew, perhaps to meet additional characters, and for Hal's test before we sail on to the next. I have not planned how much RL time this will take; we shall see how inspiration (not lightning, hopefully! *quickly changes her red sweater for a less susceptible color*) strikes us.

"Clint of the Eastern Wood" - now that's clever, Thena! Sounds like a character that should be played by Underhill! I had actually thought of that image as being the Marlboro man, but I like your idea much better.

I don't suppose I need to tell anyone here that the ending of my last post owes a great deal to Tolkien's own words in "The Breaking of the Fellowship"...

By the way, speaking of "Fellowship" - as I see it, the "Fellow/Galship" ended in Valleyum, breaking up when the majority of the members parted. (Of the original cast that started out at the beginning of the first part, only Merisu is left! :eek: ) I'm open to suggestions for a new name; you may have noticed that I cunningly avoided using a moniker for the group so far...

The Squatter of Amon Rdh 02-15-2007 07:56 AM

Into the East with Westwood, or something
We can't ask Underhill to take time out of his busy schedule just to write some comic homage to a Hollywood icon. Surely he would never wear such an imposition. Anyway, I'm glad to hear that others mean to join us in our bumbling progress through these mysterious islands.

I've discovered that my order for an internet connection was somehow lost, but I'm now assured that the equipment is on its way. I'm also working on some ideas for a temptation, at least for my lucky lads. Incidentally, I've been considering the earlier versions of the Hiding of Valinor, where a belt of enchanted islands bars the path from the Hither Lands. What I was trying to say in chat last night was that we could have stumbled on just such a defence, and be negotiating it in entirely the wrong direction. It seems typically REB to go through the cunning magical defences after having already visited the kingdom they protect. I think they call such dumb luck 'the Beren factor'.

I'm glad you liked poor Laetninrod's brief moment of fame, Thenamir. Somehow I get the impression that you organise an interesting fishing trip.

Thenamir 02-15-2007 10:15 AM

Re: New blood -- some random synaptic firings
In wandering around and refamiliarising myself with more of the forum and its various nooks and crannies, I noticed that our new venture here has not been advertised at The Seventh Star -- nor has anything else for the last several months. Perhaps a new posting there might attract some attention.

Additionally, while I have no idea how the process works, perhaps it could be time to consider some new admissions to Gondor from Rohan?

The Squatter of Amon Rdh 02-19-2007 10:37 AM

Stuck in pre-recorded limbo
Good point. It always pays to advertise.

Anyway, apparently even in a world sub-created for the purpose of escape from everyday irritations one can still be put on hold. I'll leave it up to someone else to find a way to release the crew from their predicament.

Now I know that strictly speaking old Mogul was defeated in the last episode, but even the most comprehensively defeated evil corporate CEO must have the odd forgotten auto-responder. I can remove the reference if it looks to be causing trouble.

Estelyn Telcontar 02-19-2007 10:55 AM

No, please don't remove the reference, Squatter - it works out very well! After all, the end of the main baddie nevers means the end of the evil he perpetrated, and a forgotten answering machine is a most horrifying evil indeed!

Your post is great fun to read! My favourite line here is the byname of the beach leader, "He who rides at night". Apparently these characters have been in close touch with the gods and goddesses of Valleyum, for they appear to speak that language and live that lifestyle very well!

Now the question is, shall I write Hal's testing first, or would Thena like to have the male questers find the remains of their ship and meet Squatter's crew next?

Oh, and the idea of reviving the Seventh Star to advertise our presence is good - anyone want to tackle the task? I won't have much time for any but the most necessary posting in the next days.

Thenamir 02-19-2007 12:12 PM

Squatter, I have to admire your ability to come up with names. I bow to your comedic brilliance.

I will post over in the Seventh Star for our new venture, and see what may come of it.

I will also drag our band over to the sailors on-hold, after having dealt with my own suitably geeky sensual temptation, and attempt to hack the auto-responder.

Estelyn Telcontar 02-20-2007 07:53 AM

Saucy, what a wonderful post! I can't believe that we have gone through two RPGs containing a city of that name, and no one had yet come up with the idea of using toothpaste brands in a post - brilliant! (I do have vague memories of a newspaper invented by Diamond called "The Daily Floss", IIRC.)

It's great to have you in the game with us - what would REB be without at least one loyer?! Our legal eagles have had a vital part in shaping the story, and no one is better suited to writing the bad guys. Thanks especially for taking over Denimthor, who's basically been an NPC for the previous games. He has great cosmetic potential - after all, isn't he a Proctor who Gambles? ;)

I am currently working on the men's search for the ship - that post should be up within the next couple of hours, perhaps sooner.

Thenamir 02-20-2007 09:47 AM

Wonderful posts, Saucy and Esty! Great fun with the references to the dental processes and products -- the "Ceremony of Bhrsh-n-Grgelh" practically caused me to spew coffee on my monitor. And I don't think I've seen anyone write Gateskeeper quite so well. Great posts, all.

At Esty's request, I have held my aforementioned post until her latest was up, which is now the case. At the risk of self-defeating goal-setting, I will probably be able to post before the end of the day today.

The Squatter of Amon Rdh 02-20-2007 10:24 AM

Another recruit to the legion of the damned
Cool. I didn't want to get any work done anyway.

Welcome to the story, Saucepan. I've been saying for some time that we can't seem to get our portrayal of the evil and corrupt quite right without some sort of legal representation.

I can't believe we didn't use all those toothpaste jokes either, but that just goes to show what a stroke of genius it was to think of it. I thought the bridges quite evocative too. I see that Denimthor dresses like the 1980s rock legend his name suggests, although you can't get much more korprat than that shirt.

The Saucepan Man 02-20-2007 12:25 PM

Thanks for the welcome, folks. :D

Having returned from holiday to see the third instalment of the trilogy underway, and in such style, I could not resist getting in on the action. I will be posting intermittently, as there is no hurry to get the villains underway on their chase. It seems that the Castaway-ship(less) will have enough to contend with in the meantime.

Credit to Wikipedia for the list of toothpaste brands, without which my own memory would have stretched to two or three at most. :rolleyes:

Credit also to Bee-Dubyah, of course, for his conception of Denimthor, which inspired much of his introduction as a main character in this story. The legend on his t-shirt, while dreadfully cliched, just seemed to fit somehow.

Anyway, wonderful stuff so far from all concerned, and I'm looking forward to much more of the same.

Who knows? Maybe some others will be tempted back to the long, tortuous path that is a REB RPG.

Oh, and ...

"He who rides at night"

Classic! :D

The Saucepan Man 02-20-2007 12:31 PM

Ps ...

Originally Posted by Esty
... after all, isn't he a Proctor who Gambles?

Bah! You beat me to it ...! ;)

Estelyn Telcontar 02-20-2007 12:42 PM

I too am finding Wikipedia an invaluable reference source for popular culture - since it's been longer than I can remember that I last played Battleship, I brushed up on the proper terminology there.

Oh, and Denimthor's T-shirt seems to foreshadow his mental condition...

Announcement: I will be away from home for several days, internet connection hopefully possible, but probably quite limited. I shall attempt to finish Hal's post - anyone want to write one for Gummidge? I have an idea, but will have to see how my scheduling goes - and then leave the rest of you to write up the two groups meeting and to leave the island and arrive at the next while I'm away.

Thena, I will put up a save, just in case my post fits in better before yours. If it works better afterwards, I'll delete it and post later.

Thenamir 02-21-2007 02:19 PM

My save is filled. We may have a new, if a bit robotic, character.

Estelyn Telcontar 02-21-2007 03:50 PM

A great post, and a fabulous new character, Thena! Merisu will surely be glad of female companionship - or something, I hope...

I loved the sportsmanship Gatesy shows at the beginning, and the very apt descriptions of Tara :eek: - oh, and the lovely alliteration!

Unfortunately, time is running short before I leave, so my save will be filled as soon as I have the opportunity to do so from afar, hopefully within the next couple of days. I'll sneak in as often as I can!

Thenamir 02-21-2007 04:46 PM

Gnawing the ends of old plots
Consider the following from near the end of REB2:


At any rate, Gravlox chuckled, theres no doubt of our Elven marital status after this night! Now we should consider whether we wish to have a family.

Merisu blushed again. Not necessary, she whispered. We already are...
:eek: :eek: :eek:

Let us not forget that our heroine is expecting. Do elves get morning sickness? And just how long is the gestation period?

The Saucepan Man 02-21-2007 05:43 PM


Drool ...!

Er ... I mean, cool! :rolleyes: ;)

The Squatter of Amon Rdh 02-22-2007 04:16 AM

The silly who never sleep
Nice one, Thenamir. Who else but the Plunderer of Sepulchres would appear to one so versed in the arcane arts as Gateskeeper? Of course, this raises the question: how many different geek sex symbols can we write into this island? Unfortunately I don't know which pulp TV and video game characters most appealed to my nerdy female counterparts, so I suppose Esty's on her own with any temptation that Merisu encounters. I wonder if the Music of Holding could be used as a siren song, or whether lift music is more appropriate.

That unexpected epic back-story is going to be a tough act to follow, Saucepan. I'm glad that you've been inspired to join in. I like the Liquidator, meaning that he sounds like a decent enough sort of chap if you get on the right side of him. I just hope that my crew left their business affairs in good order when they set sail.

I'll see if I can do some sort of meeting between Gatesey and my sub-par mariners by the end of the week. It's great to see the steamroller of misadventure that is REB once more set brakeless amid the priceless terracotta warriors of world mythology.

Thenamir 02-22-2007 04:19 PM

Thanks, all, for the kind words on my latest offering. For those who might like to use Tara in upcoming posts, here's a bit of background on her character.

I envision Tara as being something like a combination of traits found in two characters of Star Trek fame -- Data, and Seven of Nine. She's not quite human, though she aspires like Data to be more than she is. She was created, not unlike Saruman's Uruks or Borg drones, to serve her master (in this case, Mogul) with the purpose of "recruiting" (read: tempting unto damnation) unwary souls into Mogul's service. Hence, while she is well versed in the arts of temptation, she is a bit unsophisticated in most other areas of social interaction.

As mentioned in the post, she has special access to the odd forms of communication in Muddled-Mirth -- O-mail/GPS, and a "network" of sorts that connects these servants of Mogul, not unlike the Borg Collective. Gateskeeper has "rewired" her now so that she is no longer beholden to the ISN (Incubus-Succubus Network, coming soon to an earring-channel near you!), but she is now dependent on our intrepid band to help her integrate back into what passes for "normal Muddled-Mirthian society."

Aside from the obvious Star Trek references, I could see connections to Eliza Doolittle/My Fair Lady, with Gateskeeper as Professor Henry Higgins?

The Saucepan Man 02-22-2007 07:05 PM


Originally Posted by Squatter
I like the Liquidator, meaning that he sounds like a decent enough sort of chap if you get on the right side of him.

The right side being solvent and free of any debt. But Emu help anyone who owed any money to Mogul Enterpises LLC. Hmm, I wonder who that might implicate ...


Originally Posted by Thena
For those who might like to use Tara in upcoming posts, here's a bit of background on her character.

Although it tends not to be her character that interests those who are interested in her, if you get my meaning ... :rolleyes: ;)

I would, however, note that the character upon which Tara is based is of the English aristocracy, was born in Wimbledon and educated at Gordonstoun (Prince Charles' Alma Mater), is a seasoned explorer and artifact collector and an athlete extraordinaire, likes scaling dangerously precipitous cliffs and jumping rivers of molten lava, and is pretty handy (with both hands) with munitions of various types.

She also tends to shoot dumb animals, along with the odd villainous henchmen, rather a lot.

Not that I know much about her ... :rolleyes:

Thenamir 02-23-2007 08:34 AM

Thanks for the added info, Saucy, I never played much video in my ill-spent youth, and none of the Tomb Raider series. Good to know.

Estelyn Telcontar 02-24-2007 04:25 AM

A brief "hi" from the land of Far Far Away - it's fun to read the posts on both the game and discussion threads! Detailed comments would take a good deal of internet time and expense, so please accept a simple "thanks" to all. I shall do my best to finish writing and to post for Hal soon.

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