Duel of Doom!
 

I don't know how many of you saw davem's thread about the other Lord of the Ring's films by John Boorman. Now, one of the changes he suggested was this...

This amused me, and I thought it would be interesting. It'd make me wet myself if in a Lord of the Rings film, but I think it belongs in mirth!

I propose a game, of sorts. A little like Fortunately / unfortunately in format, the game goes as shown above. Playing as Either Saruman or Gandalf, we have a little duel of words in this sort of manner. Make sure they get nicely ridiculous (while remaining Middle Earth related).

So, here is an example...

One Downer-
Saruman: I am the slug that eats your garden!

another -
Gandalf: I am the salt that dissolves the slug (and flavours my food).

Another-
Saruman: I am the vinegar that neutralises the salt!

And so on.

So, lets get started...

Saruman: I am the fire that burns your hat...

Gandalf: I am the trickster who placed my hat on your head.

Saruman: I am the wind that blows the hat in a tree.

Gandalf: I am the wall that blocks the wind.

SARUMAN: I am the team of giant moles with paramilitary training that undermine the wall.

GANDALF: I am the owls that eat the paramilitary trained moles.

SARUMAN: I am the sun the blinds the Owl and sets it on fire!

Gandalf: I am the beach bag containing shades and sunblock that protects the owl.

Saruman: I am the bum on the beach who steals the bag.

Gandalf: I am the weird snake that jumps out of the bag and eats the 'bum's head.

Saruman: I am Thorondor the Eagle, who swoops down and eats the snake

Gandalf: I am the arrow piercing the eagles heart.

Saruman: I am the doctor who heals the poor thing.

GANDALF: I am the waiting list that cripples the NHS.

SARUMAN: I am the team of paper-eating locusts that destroys the waiting list!

Gandalf: I am John the Baptist, the mighty eater of locusts.

Saruman: I am the Guillotine that cuts off the Baptists’ head.

Radagast: I am not supposed to be here… I’ll go now.


Ignore the Radagast bit, just a joke. :p

Gandalf: I am the Crazed Yodeling Axman that chops the Guillotine into splinters.

Saruman: I am the splinters that fly into the Crazed Yodeling Axman's eye.

GANDALF: I am the team of termites that eat the splinters!

Saruman: I am the pest control that destroy-eth yon termites!

GANDALF: I am the flesh-eating beetles that devour the pest control technician! RAWR!

Sharuman: I am Yoko Ono, who causes deep phsychological rifts between the beetles

Gandalf: I am the relationship counselor, who cancels out Yoko Ono's rifting effects.

Saruman: I am a malpractice lawsuit, who puts the relationship counselor out of business.

Gandalf: I am the Congressional Bill that puts a cap on malpractice lawsuits.

Saruman: I am a filibuster that postpones the Congressional Bill indefinitely. :p

Gandalf: I am the mosquitoes that give all the congresspeople malaria so that in their delirium they break the filibuster.

Saruman: I am a small tree frog that eats the mosquitoes

Gandalf: I am the Balrog that, on its way to Khazad-Dum, accidentally stomps on the tree frog and squishes it.

Saruman: I am the Dark Lord to whom Balrogs bow!

Gandalf: I am the ring that falls into Mt Doom to get rid of the Dark Lord.

Saruman: I am the psychic scars that cause Frodo to leave Middle-earth!

Gandalf: "I am Miss Cleo, who heals Frodo's psychic scars & he reconsiders. Wait...I might want to take that one back." :p

No likey eating mosquitoes... :o

Saruman: I am the black widow spider that bites Miss Cleo.

Gandalf: I am a Boot Wearing Leprechaun that crushes said black widow spider.

Saruman: I am Artemis Fowl who outwits LEPRecon and steals its gold. :p

Gandalf: I am mercury to melt your gold.

Saruman: I am Venus, one better than mercury. :p

Gandalf: I am Vulcan's net, which traps Venus and makes her look rather silly.