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-   -   101 Things Barrow-Downers Would Never Post (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=5150)

Lush 04-07-2002 12:25 PM

101 Things Barrow-Downers Would Never Post
 
I'm sorry, I just had to rip off the Books Forum here. If I'm breaking any rules, please feel free to smack me upside the head. Once again, keep it clean, for those that want to participate!
*Disclaimer* This is in no way meant to offend or to hurt anyone's feelings. This is just for fun. If you want to really rant on someone, go somewhere else.

The Barrow-Wight: "Lookie, here's an off-topic thread about badgers! Great fun! Keep going, guys!"

Sharku: "Guess what everyone? I have a bootleg copy of the TTT preview! If you want it, come and claim it!"

Mhoram: "Orlando Bloom discussion in the chatroom tonight, 8:30 sharp! Major topics: cheekbones, eyes, lips, and the Christina Ricci rumour. See you there!"

Kalessin: "Whoa, you guys are way too deep. I'm going to go watch MTV now."

red: "Welcome newbies! Make yourself at home!"

Rinurion: "Everyone, meet my best friend, red."

Squatter of Amon Rudh: "Keats? Who the hell is Keats? Ah, yes, you want an on-topic, relevant thread? Sure thing, lads!"

The Barrow-Wight 04-07-2002 04:21 PM

This topic is not Tolkien-related. I'm shutting it down!

Just kidding! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Lemme think of one or two.

Thenamir: "Who gives a &$@#! Keep your &#$@ and &@$# and just have fun! Yee haw!"

Kate: "J.R. Tolkeen is my favrit arthur ever. He's even gooder than uther arthurs."

Kate (again): "Dave Matthews Band is the worst."

That's all I have time for.

Sharkû 04-07-2002 04:50 PM

'The line "the shadow about it reached out like two vast wings" is pretty straightforward.' -- Underhill

Rinurion 04-07-2002 07:05 PM

Thanks lush... it really lightened my day. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img].

Dwarin Thunderhammer 04-07-2002 07:18 PM

Barow-Wight: Sure I'll make you an op. all you have to do is ask!

Thenamir: Cussing isn't all that bad.

Thenamir: All truth is relative

Sharku: English really is a superior language.

Underhill: Shouldn't we just say things clearly and not go off on rabbit trails.

Gilthaion: Oh yeah I have plenty of time to do another RPG.

Mhoram: I love all those off topic discussions.

red: Undeerhill nyeah, whatever.

Kate: Orli is soo hooot.

Kate: I loved my color theory professor.

Twinkle: I HATE ZIFNAB HE IS SOOO MEAN [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

Rinurion: I think that the the personification of the Balrog. Is an alligorical representation is equoivicall to demons and other apporitions. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Lush 04-07-2002 09:25 PM

Aralaithiel: "Elves are Tolkien's most idiotic creations. Stupid immortal gits!"

The Barrow-Wight: "I tell you chaps, what we really need is another Bible thread!"

Zones: "Geez people, learn how to write in complete sentences! It's not hard, you know!"

Mhoram: "Silma-what???"

Mayla Took 04-07-2002 11:07 PM

Here is my five sence to add.

muffin_goddes~ "What kind of moron cryes in a LOTR film. Tsk, I would never...."

Samwise~ "I have decided that Sam can lick my boots! I don't see what I ever saw in him! Now Legolas on the other hand, theres a hunk of burnin' Elf! Oh yea, and I am seeing somone about that spilt personality...."

Lush~ "Viggo Mortensen? What a sorry excuse for an actor! I wouldn't be caught dead with seen whith him!"

Gilthalion~ "Awww! I can't think of anything good to write for my fan fiction. Boo hoo! Pleaase, will some of you nice people help me think of somthing?"

Ha ha, that is fun! Thanks Lush.

[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: Mayla Took ]

Estelyn Telcontar 04-08-2002 12:29 AM

What a fun thread, Lush! Here are a few more:

Lush: Orlando Bloom? Oh, puh-lease, who's interested in some punk actor - he doesn't even look good!

Maril...: The movie is just awful - that director whatsisname didn't show Frodo looking at the ring often enough! But who cares, there's nothing we can do about it anyway!

Sharku: Welcome to the Downs, bunny-wunnies! Please post often!

Glenethor: Movie? What movie?? They made LotR into a movie???

zifnab: You want a source quote for that? Nah, too much bother for me to look it up!

Mhoram: I'm a newbie - please don't eat me!

Numerous participants whose names I will not mention:
Why should I post an answer? I have nothing of significance to contribute to that topic!

[img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

ElfRayor 04-08-2002 05:50 AM

did I say that? [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

Lush 04-08-2002 03:12 PM

Nah, Zones, it's something you WOULDN'T say. That's the point of the thread. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] All in good fun.

Mithadan: "Traveling is for cheapskates who can't afford to get the Travel Channel. Why both with jet-lag, when you can see it all on the tube?"

The Barrow-Wight: "The exectuive committee of this site, or, to put it more plainly, me, myself, and I, has decreed gloom, doom, and rotting corpses to be no longer fashionable. Therefore, we are changing the theme to Lothlórien..."
Sharku: "Ooh! Ooh! Does it mean I get to be Galadriel?"
The Barrow-Wight: "No, you prat, white is not your colour..."

Glenethor: "Yeah, I saw FotR, like, once. Not too shabby of a flick, but sitting through a three-hour movie again is simply beyond me."

Mhoram: "Who are Led Zeppelin again?" *scratches head*

Turambar: "Eh, William Wordsworth, what an idiot."

Aralaithiel: "Yeah, I'm writing this fan-fic, but I have a Kafka-esque approach to these things. I really don't want anyone to read them. They are totally private, you know."

red: "All you need is love! Doo doo doo doo doo..."

The Barrow-Wight: "Boromir was the most tragic of all Tolkien's characters. Poor guy never wanted to hurt no one, he just needed to protect his people! Whenever I read that part, I cry like a little girl." *sob*

Turambar 04-08-2002 03:23 PM

Lush - "Abstinence is my guiding principle." [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Mithadan - "$%&^*#@ you, you &*(%%$-ing &^&*#$%%.

Bruce MacCulloch - "Edward I - a good historical model for Theoden."

red - "can we go over thant balrog-wing question one more time?"

Eve - [insert any reasoned, intelligent comment]

[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: Turambar ]

onewhitetree 04-08-2002 03:43 PM

Estelyn: All these long words are getting to be too much for me. I think I'll lapse into chat pidgin from now on. l8ers!

Barrow-Wight: You know who I really miss? That Borthand guy. He was a real asset to my site.

Underhill: dident u no? Iam speelcheck Man!

Lush 04-08-2002 04:10 PM

Hahahaha, Turambar! If you only knew! (I'll be taking that one as a compliment [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] )

Maril...: "...And then I saw Richard Gere, and was, like, 'OMIGOD! It's Richard Gere!!!' I threw myself down on the ground before him, started screaming his name, and begging him to sign my chest. Then, security came and began to drag me away, kicking and screaming..."

Turambar: "No thank you! I don't need to know what any of you look like!"

Kailmac: "Orc-women? *Yawn* Who gives a damn?"

Rosa Underhill: "Bible? What kind of losers read the Bible these days anyway?"

[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: Lush ]

Thingol 04-08-2002 07:15 PM

red: It's Red, not red

Lush: Bear? Who drinks alcohol? I could really go for some apple juice right about now.

The Barrow Wight: This board is has too much Tolkien talk on it, we need an off topic section. As of tomorrow 'll be starting a Nascar section.

Mhoram: What type of a loser watches Nascar?

Sharku: What kind of a freak takes quotes and life advice from some strange poem with a name like The Havamal?

Kate: Well I've tabulated the points and it looks like Sharku has won. Sharku please send me your home adress, the grand prize is 1 million dollars.

Kate: Did you all see me on MTV's spring break? I'm gonna be in this new video, it's called Girls Gone Wild VII

[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: Thingol ]

Belegfanaion 04-08-2002 09:43 PM

Here's a couple!

Jake: Orlando Bloom?! Who the @#$% would like a guy with POINTY EARS? That's like lovin' a @#$% VULCAN!

Andrew: {BURPP!}

Dannette: YOU SHALL NOT BURP!!!!!!!!

Andrew: Falls off bridge, dragging Dannette down with him.

Rinurion 04-08-2002 10:24 PM

Heres my poor attempt at joining in [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]...
zifnab: can som1 pls be my friend? pls... im so lonely...

Dwarin: Elves are far, far better than those stinking dwarves

Dwarin: Why would you want to hit them with a shovel when you can impail them with the aeglos?

Kate: Bloodless rain is such a wonderful contributor to the barrowdowns...

Mosco Baggins/Nevilinion: The ops are so fair. Why would i want to be an op with these wonderful people around?

Gilthalion: Of course you can be manwe, my dear. In fact, you can take control of the entire rpg [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img].

Mhoram 04-08-2002 10:28 PM

Quote:

The Barrow Wight: This board is has too much Tolkien talk on it, we need an off topic section. As of tomorrow 'll be starting a Nascar section.
Hah, don't put it by him. But then again, with me beating him so bad, he probally wouldn't want to talk about it at all. *nudge* *wink*

Quote:

Kate: Did you all see me on MTV's spring break? I'm gonna be in this new video, it's called Girls Gone Wild VII
Yeah, umm, I had planned to comment on this, but it just isn't worth loosing those eight Kate-points i've accumulated.

psss, guys, let me remind you, be careful not to say anything that could be taken offensively. The last thing we need is someone taking a joke too far and really hurting someone's feelings.

Orald 04-08-2002 10:42 PM

BW: "Borthond was a cool guy, but I really miss Salavas"

Sharku: "Where the heck did you get that quote from?"

Tar-Elenion: "It's from HoME XIII, Myths Transthorned"

"well, my favorite would have to be pippin..."


Lindil: "Why don't we have polls for threads like "who is your favorite member of the Fellowship?" anymore? I loved those."

Mithadan: "I agree"

Kate: "I'm taking the position of round earth which is verified from many sources, yes. But I am ALSO taking the intent and statement of Tolkien established in ANADUNE and carried forth in subsequent revisions (accompanied by letters of the time and afterward) that it was always round.

They go hand in hand.

If you choose to call that revisionist, then I stand with Tolkien in his 'revisionism' with pride.
Although it seems to me that in trying to piece information in, and disregarding text that doesn't fit the old models, the term revisionist is backflowing to the originator.

Examining an oft quoted text such as OF DWARVES AND MEN gives a perfect example.
They will cite information selectively from it, but hold the text as unacceptable because it damages too much of the old text.
Who's truly revising here really?

They are trying to window dress old text that in places has been abandoned or altered as shown clearly from the (to them) unacceptable sources they are pulling from. These are the creators of differing mythologies, not Tolkien.

By exemplication of comparison: they are trying to hold the text of HISTORY of LOTR as canon (RETURN OF THE SHADOW, TREASON OF ISENGARD, WAR OF THE RING, SAURON DEFEATED), while pulling information from the finished LOTR, and rejecting passages that contradict this 'established' canon.

As for what is published in LOTR concerning elvish orcs, the conclusions are stated as only assumptions by the elves.
Look again.

Concerning the 'Bad ol days', this could have valid applications several ways.
1 They were present. (Possible if the corruption of fea/hroa is strong enough to have been rendered unnatural and against Eru's law; see sorcerors, wizards, deadmen of dunharrow for other examples of extended time in Arda)

2 They were not present. (Also possible, as statements are made that are carry-overs or references to/from bygone eras. See 'those were they good ol days', 'in the days of yore', 'once upon a time' etc.)

This does not examine the possible applications from learned speech patterns (beasts), orcish mythology, possible references to a time of indirect control of a dark lord, or other scenarios."

[ April 09, 2002: Message edited by: Durelen ]

Orald 04-08-2002 10:54 PM

And I think we all know twinkles inevitable reply to Kate's statement which will lead to a very deep thread on Orcish Fear in which Estelyn and a few others will throw themselves into.

Marileangorifurnimaluim 04-08-2002 11:09 PM

Mr. Underhill: "Look. This is a simple fairy tale. Stop reading into it."

Kalessin: "Post-modernism? Khalil Gibran?? Let's stick to quoting the books, shall we?"

Lush: "Haurumph. This is a serious discussion, not a Hobbit walking party. Take your tomfoolery elsewhere."

LadyArwen 04-09-2002 03:11 AM

Haha! This is a great thread! How about:

Mhoram: Aw c'mon ... give the newbies a chance ... they just need to prove themselves in time, that's all ...

red: Under-eighteens. Such a pleasure to meet you all.

red: Elijah? What ... Elijah Wood! Oh Elijah, take me, take me!

Sharku: *rubbing hands* Right now, time for some serious Orly discussion time!

Estelyn Telcontar 04-09-2002 04:02 AM

Shadowfax/Facsimile: Why should I be interested in a topic for a serious book discussion - I'm only a teen! I just want to know if you think Orly is hotter than Elijah! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Bruce MacCulloch 04-09-2002 04:06 AM

Any one of the hormone-driven Orlando-droolers: 'I agree. I think that in order to gain a proper understanding of the question at hand, one absolutely must refer to the Letters for clarity. The next best place to look for a possible answer would be HoME XII, Peoples of Middle Earth. Either way, I'm not going to answer it for you - Look it up!'

ElfRayor 04-09-2002 05:50 AM

my self: ohh! look my cow is flying!
BW: hmpf! i wanted to close that topic!,
we r sorry ,we have to close this topic .........

Mithadan 04-09-2002 07:13 AM

Scandalous! Libelous! Entirely undignified and insulting!

*Admin looks about quickly to ensure no one is looking.*

Mhoram: I had an invigorating discussion on Chat last night about heroic archetypes in the Silmarillion.

Legolust: Indeed, fascinating discourse.

Rimbaud 04-09-2002 09:29 AM

Myself;
1) any post where my second point doesn't utterly contradict my first
2) any post where my second point isn't a mere copy of the first

Ops; There are 'other topics'? *Scratch heads and look round confusedly*

Pre-pubescent Legolas fans; So, I just got back online after translating the first volume of HoME into Sindarin when a thought about the relationship of the Legendarium and the Silmarillion occurred to me...

twinkle 04-09-2002 10:55 AM

zifnab: tax-returns.....whatever would i do with those?

Sharku: lederhosen are uncool.....

Thenamir: ebay? you can sell stuff online?

Kate: painting still lifes is such a wonderful pastime....

Miriel: chatting is too boring to me, i'd much rather continue working on my assignments [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Orald: Kate? who's Kate?

Mhoram: i just bought the new Backstreet Boys cd....best band to ever hit the planet...anyone care to discuss?

Bruce: heraldry is dead...

Telchar: i'm switching to water....permanently....

red: Belle just had two puppies [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]...i named them Elijah and Orlando, aren't they just the cutest?

Dwarin: chat bots are overrated....

Estelyn: i'm tired of sensible discussions...

Mirkgirl: mountain dew is for sissies!

ElfRayor 04-09-2002 11:44 AM

My self: HMPF! i wanted this topic to close! [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]
Dwarin: i think OP´s r stupid!ill will never be 1!
red: ill change my name to Red......
My self: red? well then ill be blue or.... black?orenge?red does not like Red so ill be Red!
[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
B-W: oh! god we even did not have 1.000.000 forum members!
My self: who is member nº 1? was it j.r.r.tolkien got in the internet before dying? [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Niere-Teleliniel 04-09-2002 02:00 PM

(I think RKittle was no. 1)

The-elf-herself: Sindarin? Why would anyone even consider learning such a common language? Gimme a break!

Airetalathwen: You know, this whole LOTR passion was just a fluke, I'm going back to horses....

Lush 04-09-2002 05:01 PM

LadyArwen: "Chatting at 5:30 in the morning is for losers. No offense!"

Kalimac: "Slavic languages...bleh."

Lush(me): "Sorry guys, April Fool's jokes are not my idea of fun, I find them immature and distasteful."

Maril...: "All my life I wanted to be just like everyone else!!!"

Sharku: "My favorite has to be PJ's interpretation of Arwen. I daresay she looks might tasty on that white horse, with that big sword!"

Bruce MacCulloch: "If it's not Scottish, it's crrrap!"

mordor136 04-09-2002 05:54 PM

almost anyone: "WHAT, no way. Aragorn gave them their swords not some dude named Bombidail and who's Tolkien?

Bruce MacCulloch 04-10-2002 05:16 AM

Quote:

Bruce MacCulloch: "If it's not Scottish, it's crrrap!"
But I do say that. http://www.plauder-smilies.de/yellows/twirl.gif

dragongirlG 04-10-2002 02:59 PM

Scandalous! Fun! Lovely!

Lush: Who's Orlando Bloom?

I Luv Frodo: I hate Frodo!

Kalessin: oh, who cares about intellectual debates? They're too hard for me. Everyone here is so much smarter!

Sharku: I admit it. I sell pirated merchandise. I just didn't want any competition.

No offense to ANYONE for this post.

[ April 22, 2002: Message edited by: dragongirlG ]

Lush 04-10-2002 06:51 PM

Quote:


Bruce MacCulloch: "If it's not Scottish, it's crrrap!"

But I do say that.
*slaps herself on the head*
I meant to add that you probably would say that. Oops! Alright then.

Bruce MacCulloch (doing his best Longshanks impersonation): "The trouble with Scotland is that it's full of Scots!"

(Bruce, don't get offended, believe me, I get stupid movie references about Russia thrown at me on a daily basis)

Turambar: "Gee, I miss Eve. What a friendly gal!" *sigh*

Glenethor: "Man, do they absolutely have to include that silly poem in TTT? It sounded ghastly in the preview!"

Airetauriel: "Why is every fan of PJ's movies acting like they're a heroin addict going through withdrawal? It's only 8 more months! You can wait! Sheesh!"

Marileangorifurnimaluim 04-11-2002 02:40 AM

*Maril gets a naughty gleam in her eye and can't resist adding..*

Mr. Underhill: Well, the homoerotic subtext of the LotR is obvious..

Gilthalion: Hobbits? They're a bit, er, twee don't you think?

Mhoram: Gee. I'm not sure.

Mithadan: !!@!%&@e!! chatting orli fans and rpgers i've had enough of this, if the ops don ban any 1 4 evn saying the name orli im oughta hre! do u understnd me??????!!!!!

B-W: I have come. But I do not choose to do what I have come to do.
The Site is Mine!
All of you, get out.

[ April 11, 2002: Message edited by: Marileangorifurnimaluim ]

Lush 04-13-2002 10:04 AM

red: "Have some pity for Morgoth, you heartless twits!"

Zones: "Turambar, young man, I am 82 years old, my name is Henry Louis Gates, and I teach a class in Harvard entitled The Metaphysics of Language. Why the sudden curiosity?"

Mhoram: "Why be blunt when you can dance around the subject for a week?"

Nevtalathiel 04-16-2002 08:17 AM

Lush: Me, drink alcohol? You must be mistaken, I would never do something like that!

Mhoram: A difference of opinion? Don't bother to quote to support your view, I believe you!

Turambar 04-16-2002 12:43 PM

BARROW-WIGHT: I wish this thread would go on and on.

Araen 04-16-2002 02:07 PM

These are really too funny, and rather true from what little I have gathered from my short time at the BD. I however can't thik of anything to add.

Lush 04-16-2002 03:35 PM

(Ha! Turambar gives me the best ideas)

The Barrow-Wight: "The thread goes ever on and on/Down from the lush where it began..."

Airetauriel: "I just joined the Official Liv Tyler Fan Club! Go me!"

Mhoram: "...And then we sat around and listened to some Michael Bolton."

Nuranar: "Eh, Galadriel...I'm not that keen on blond hair colour and silly rings."

Araen: "Well now, let's see, since I know you all so well by now and everything, I believe that Turambar would never post that..."


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