Middle Earth: The E True Hollywood Story
 

We all know that movie character's aren't real. Because let's face it, if there really were mumakil that roam Africa and Fell Beast controlled by the government, J.R.R. Tolkien would be a non-fiction writer. But what is real, are the actors. Yes, they may play people, but in real life, they aren't any different...unless it's some kind of autobiography...but that's beside the point. Now here's where this thread is going: What if the charaters in the story were actually realy, and they played themselves in PJ's LOTR movies? Would there be any difference? This thread will find out the truth behind the mystery. This is the E True Hollywood Story, of Middle Earth


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What I just wrote is the basis to start a post on. The main idea of this is, just make up what the characters would act like if they were playing themselves. Feel free to use stereotypes. I know I will :D So better show you, here's an example of what it should be:

Legolas: The Uruks turn northeast! They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!
Peter Jackson: And....cut! That's a wrap!
Legolas: Peter, I'm having a problem with this script! Why are they going North East, when Isengard is in the opposite direction?
PJ: Uh....don't worry we'll fix it in post production!
Legolas: That's it! I'm calling my agent!

In that example, it shows that Legolas actually knows which way he's running. It wasn't a very good example, but it works. Just show how characters act after PJ says Cut. Any questions? No? Yes? Maybe? Well ready or not, because here it comes!


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And now we take you behind the scenes, of Lord of the Rings!

Galadriel: Will you look into the mirror?
Frodo: What will I see?
Galadriel: Not even the wisest can tell! Things that were, things that are, and some things that have not yet come to pass.
PJ: And...cut!
Galadriel: Someone get these lightbulbs off me! Peter, I don't know why you have these here in the first place. It's not like people really think I glow like this! They can even see the wires!
PJ: Don't worry, it works. We did it for Gandalf's staff and it worked fine!
Galadriel: Where is he?
PJ: Uh...he's in the hospital. He went swimming and forgot to take the battery pack off his belt.
Galadriel: That's it! I'll be in my trailer!

(cave troll tries to kill hobbits)
(legolas kills cave troll)
PJ: And....cut!
Cave Troll: Man that hurts! At least I have a good dental plan....right?
PJ: Your a troll. You don't get dental!
Cave Troll: No dental? Why you -
Legolas: Peter, I need more makeup. I think I need more hair products.
PJ: Just give me a minute.
(Frodo comes in without hair on his feet)
PJ: What happened to your hair?
Frodo: It's called wax. Duh!
Cave troll: What about my dental?
Legolas: What about my hair!
Frodo: What about my feet?
PJ: That's it! I can't take it anymore! If y'all don't stop, I'll hire actors to play you.
Cave Troll, Legolas, and Frodo: Sorry Peter

People Issues
 

This is the point where the Cave Troll growls, Legolas frowns and Frodo does his classic look of horror. Also, some random person on the set yells "Black mail! Should I call their attorneys?"

Anyway here's another behind the scenes look:
It happens to be Frodo's first day on the set. He walks out of his trailer to see a Ringwraith walk by with a coffee in his uh...sleeve. Frodo screams and runs. Then the Ringwraith chases him trying to tell him that he's "off duty." Unfortunately all anyone can hear are screams. Peter tells the camera man to roll the film. When the chase ends, Peter calls "cut!" Frodo hides in his trailer again.

Hobbits jump onto the ferry
PJ: And cut!
Merry: Oww! A splinter! ;)