Unfortunately, it was an Exploding Pencil of Doom.

Fortunately, it wouldn't explode until Tolkien pulled out the pin and counted to five.

Unfortunaly, the pin was too loosly attached and fell off itself and Tolkien, not knowing how to count to three, counted 1, 2, 5 and the Pencile of Doom exploded.

Fortunately, Tolkien misread the manual and it was infact the Imploding Pencil of Doom. so basically it went up like a puff of smoke and his hand ....yep...

Unfortunately, it incinerated the only manuscript of The Lord of the Rings before it could be sent to the publishers. :(

Fortunaly, Tolkien didn't lose heart and rewrote the book, well, just twenty pages of it, he didn't remember the rest.

Unfortunately, poor Gollum found out and
decided to finish the manuscript telling the
"True" story of the Precious and how poor
Smeagol (who only wants to help) was misunderstood.

Fortunately, this manuscript was incinerated with Gollum when he fell into Orodruin.

Unfortunately, since the only manuscript for "The Lord of the Rings" was incinerated, Gollum couldn't fall into Mount Doom, since that happens in "The Lord of the Rings", and the paradox caused the fabric of space-time to get all crumpled up, coffee stained and beset with static cling (which, in turn, caused me to think night was day :eek: ).

Fortunately, the collapse somehow restored everything to normal, with Frodo five feet away from the Cracks of Doom.

Unfortunaly, those five feet were Shelob's

Fortunately, she was too interested in playing a fifth game of chess against The Witch King that they both ignored Frodo.

Unfortunately Shelob won by using an (unfair) ruse she had learned
from watching the Westley/Vissini duel in The Princess Bride and
grabbed Frodo.

Fortunaly, Sam was there to save Frode, with his Fender Stratocaster pulled out of course.

Unfortunately, Sam did not know what a Fender Stratocaster was. (For that matter, neither do I.)

Fortunately, the reader decided to skip a couple pages to Sam and Frodo's burial at sea

Unfortunately that part was left out of this particular book.

Fortunately, Tolkien added it in his revised posthumous edition that comes out next month.

Unfortunately, "next month" is relative, as there are no Gregorian calendars in Middle-earth.

Fortunately,even in Middle Earth, there were the Sun, moon and stars to go by and therefore a calendar of sorts was theirs. :D

Unfortunately it became really cloudly for about 4 months and everyone lost track of time

Fortunately, Manwe cleared that up rather quickly.

Unfortunately, he did so by causing a gigantic tsunami to destroy Middle-Earth.

Fortunately, Ulmo stopped him.

Leeroy Jenkins!!!!
 

Unfortunately not till only 33.7% of M-E remains, but those were good odds. and Ulmo got a buckey of chicken out of it too.

Fortunatley, this was only a temporary set-back, thanks to Sam and his mad Stratocaster skills!
He broke-out the Steve Miller and fine ales, and the remaining 33.7% joined in a Middle-earth-wide re-population festival.

Unfortunately, the festival turned into a riot, thus destroying the 33.7% of Middle-Earth that was left, and preventing Frodo from ever reaching Mount Doom.

Fortunately, the destruction of Middle Earth, in an oh-so-original plot twist, turned out to be a dream; and the entwife who was dreaming it was rudely awakened by Faramir Took swinging on her branches.

wow...
 

unfortunately he died

Fortunately, he died heroically in saving Frodo from the Nazgul.

Unfortunately, he was not able to, not having been born yet at the time.

Fortunately nobody really pays that much attention anyways

Unfortunately, important people, namely Death and Eru, did notice and wanted to know right away what the Angband they thought they were doing.

Fortunately, Death and Eru had been drinking together till 3:00 AM last night and had a huge hangover which caused them to forget the whole thing.

Unfortunately, the video posted on youtube.com helped them remember... and also explained why there was a goat on top of the roof...

Fortunately, Gimli, who was still starving, ate the goat.

Unfortunately, it gave him heartburn, and the drugstore was out of medicine.

Fortunately, Mark_Dollarsky kindly offered his patented voodoo heartburn cure...

Unfortunately, it didn't work.

Fortunately, it did cure Gimli's hunger. forever.