Middle Earth's Funniest Home Video's
 

Of course they didn't have TV in Middle Earth, and no Camcorders either, but let's just imagine they did...and let's just imagine that they had a TV show like the funniest video shows...what would Middle Earth residence see on this show?

*Arwen as a child*
Sitting on a little pony trying to make it ride, brandishing a plastic sword screaming, "If you want Barbie, (what would M-E girls play with? Elfie?) come and claim her!" at her brothers.

She then proceeds to fall of her horse and cries, but this is the moment to which the audience would say Awwww and laugh.

What scene do you see happening?

Yah, well I can see the many misadventures of Aragorn, taped by babysitter Arwen (who looks the same as she does now), when he was 2 years old.

Like falling down the stairs and crying for mommy (something I doubt he'd ever admit to, even AFTER the video was put on television).

Yes!

Aragorn: That wasn't me.
Arwen: Yes it was.
Aragorn: No, it wasn't
Arwen: Aragorn, I was there, I taped it 80 years ago when it happened! I think I aught to know!
Aragorn: No, it must have been some other kid you were watching.
Arwen: But I wasn't watching any other kid!
Aragorn: It's not me.
Arwen: Whatever!

Celeborn and Galadriel's casual day in the kitchen (filmed accidentally or as a practical joke by all the other elves)

"It's your turn to wash up."
"No it's your turn."
"No it's your turn!"
"No its your turn!!!"
"No its YOUR TURN!!!!!!"

*huge fight and divorce threats*

I would love to see Eowyn as a three year old. I bet she would be the most adorable petulant little brat in all Arda.

"NO! MY HORSIE!!!!" *drags Eomer off the horse and claws at her father trying to scramble up to his shoulders and into the saddle, as he tries to firmly prise her off and bribe her with sweets, but to no avail*

*Eomer just stands in the corner watching in amusement for a while, then feels left out and bursts into tears. He gets all the attention, so Eowyn begins to cry. It continues like this for some time*

Arwen is filming Aragorn with the camcorder.

"Hey Aragorn! Go back a bit further!"
"Aww, come on, Arwen! Haven't i gone far back enough?"
"No, no! You need to be close to the cliffedge so it makes you look so...so..."
"Danger-loving?"
"Yeh! Yeh! Thats the word! Just a bit more back...stop! Okay, make sure you dont step back again or you may fall!"
"What if i jump up?...like THIS!"
Aragorn jumps up. Arwen gasps, but Aragorn lands safely, but still very near the edge.
"Aragorn, don't do that! You scared the life outta me!"
"What, shall i do it more?"
"No, no!"
"Look Arwen! I'm just like a pogo stick! Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy! AAAAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!!!"
Aragorn disappears off the edge. Arwens voice becomes worried, but she stays where she is, with the camcorder still recording the grassy clifftop where Aragorn was.
"Aragorn!!!!! Aragorn!!!!! Are you there?!?!"
His voice comes from the cliff face, shouting.
"Yes! I'm still alive! Luckily this branch was sticking out of the rocks, huh?"
Suddenly, an arrow shoots from the left side of the screen. It arcs down, and too disappears as it flies down the cliff. There is silence, until Aragorn shouts:
"AAAARRRRRGGGGG! It...hurts..."
There is a *doumph!* as Aragorns dead body hits the cliff floor down below. Arwen is horrified.
"Oh my...someone has shot Aragorn! Who... who...?"
Arwen whips the camera left. There is Legolas, with a loose bow, in a position like he has just fired an arrow. The clip ends when Legolas says:
"Oh dear. My finger slipped."
(followed by an evil grin)

[img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

This may not count, as its not quite a home video. Its a documentary I wrote, from Aragorn's point of view. Its called Aragorn's Homemade Documentary- The Filming Of The Lord Of The Rings. Its a home video, just an on-set one. And its supposed to be humorous, but feel free to disagree [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] heck, you don't even have to read it...
And I know I'm babbling, so I'll stop...

Anyway, I made a mini webpage where it is viewable:
http://hometown.aol.co.uk/estelofgon...ftherings.html

As I said, it may not count as a home video, but its similar.

I can just imagine it:

Merry (filming a cornfield): "Now Pippin is supposed to be here soon, where is he? Man, I'm hungry. Pip! Where are ya? We're sposed to-OOOF!!"
*Merry is knocked down as Pippin comes flying out of a cornfield and crashes into him. The camera goes fuzzy and staticky, then a shot of the ground shows up*
"He's okay!!!"

aragorn is asleep as merry and pippin plot a very *mean* prank on him... [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
as aragorn is sleeping, merry puts a wad of toothpaste on his finger, then procedes to smudge it onto aragorn's right cheek. when he is done with that, pippin takes a feather and starts to tickle aragorn's cheek, just below the toothpaste and, *WHACK!!* aragorn smacks his face, thinking it was just a bug... laughter emmitts through camp, the ranger opens his eyes with fire in them and the camera goes fuzzy...

HA! Meela, that's great! Theoden taking a leak behind the stables!! Too funny.

Picture this one:

Young Legolas with his first bow. He tries in vain to shoot it properly. Each time his arrow falls, or flies crazy. Finally he makes one more attempt and he lets go with the wrong hand and the bow flies back and smack him in the nose.

How 'bout Sauron as a kid?
(Camera points to a evil looking kid, Sauron's mother is holding the camera.)
Mom: Oh, isn't he cute! Forgeing small rings in his own bedroom.
(Sauron turns around, holding a burning ring in his hand)
Sauron: Mom! Owch! Can't you see I'm taking over Middle Earth right now! Ow.......
(Sauron runs around the room crying and screaming as the ring meltes into his hand)

OMG! meela that is awesome!!

Boromir and Faramir as five-year-olds:

F: Hey Boromir! Look how well I can ride this giant horsey!
*Bounces up and down, but is unable to keep on the toy horse and falls over*
*Faramir runs to Denethor -Denethor is standing, looking amused, trying to hide a smile- and hugs his legs starting to cry hysterically*
B: Hehe! Daddy, look at Faramir! He can't ride the giant horsey! But I can. Watch me!
*Boromir puts his right foot over the horse, but leans over too far and falls after his foot.*
*Boromir starts crying hysterically*
B: D-d-dada! Daddy! Waaa! I can't ride horsey....
*Crying of Boromir and Faramir trails off, and we see Denethor standing with the boys hugging his legs. Denethor looks quite confused*
[img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Frodo and Sam as little kids in the rolling hills of the Shire:
Sam: Hi Frodo how are yah Frodo? You wanna play Frodo? Me Dad says I'm a fool Frodo! Hey Frodo! Frodo!
Frodo: Daaadd!! the lowly poor hobbit is stalking me!

Ok...that was awful...will never attempt humor again [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

I can see Legolas aged 3 and his mother sitting in from of his mothers mirror and him perched on her lap.

Mother: No Legolas, you brush from root to tip, and place the hairdryer on defuser... that way you dont damage your hair as much..

Legolas holding the brush attempting to do it like his mother..

Elf King walks in...
"what in Vala's name are you doing with my son!"
Mother: he's MY son as well
EK: I dont want some nancy boy as my heir!
Mother: well you should have given me a daughter!
EK: oh eru!

Oh, Tinuviel87, don't be so hard on yourself! I thought it was pretty good!

Good one, Everdawn.

Sam as a child playing in the garden, camera looking at his back as the holder slowly approaches.

Hmmm, what's this? This looks like taters. Mmm. And what's this? This looks like carrots. Mmm.

Holder of camera: What'cha doin' Sam?

Sam turns around, dirt ringing his lips.
"Eatin' taters and carrots!"

Hehe! The previous one was funny!

Another go, Gimli as a little kid:
(Gimli and his mother and Gloin, his father)
G: M-mommy! The other dwarves are stealing my midfril!
M: Now, honey, don't be greedy. HEY YOU KID GIMME THAT MITHRIL!
G: D-daddy! Mommy gots my midfril now! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
D: Why, Gimli son. It's okay! Be a good boy. As your mother said, don't be greedy!
G: GIVE ME MY MIDFRILL!!! WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAHHH!!!
D: Gimli, what happened to the OTHER mithril I gave you to play with earlier?
*(only Gloin knows that the mithril Gimli is playing with presently is fake)*
G: Hehe... I... rebuiried it. In... de deepest hole I could find. Daddy told me dat he would need to put it away, so I did it for him!
D: BUT IT WAS REAL!GRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Yes, that was stupid. I keep running out of ideas.

coool...how come I never noticed this board before??

Anyway, I can just see Faramir bouncing on a trampoline and then Boromir coming and trying to push him off but it doesn't work...so they both try to bounce on the trampoline and coz Boromir's heavier, Faramir gets bounced off and lands SMACK on the grass...starts to wail...Denethor's voice is heard laughing from behind the camera...(to Boromir) "Good, going son"
aww... [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] sorry, that was kinda rubbish!

HA! No, that was perfect!! I love it!!

Yah, that was funny! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Another thing I can see clearly is Legolas and Gimli as children(remember that they only started getting along in the second half of FotR):

G: Lemme twy shooting!
L: Why should I let you use my arrow? Why should your stupid dwarven fingers touch my pooooooiiiifect bow and arrow?
*Legolas crosses his arms, looks down on Gimli mockingly*
G: Because! LEMME TWY IT OR I'LL CALL MY DADDY! HE HAS A GIIIAAANT AXE!
*Crosses his arms, stomps his foot*
L: No! Stupid dwOrf. Stwupid. GO AWAY! STOP BOTHEWING LEGGILESS!
*Legolas turns away from Gimli with crossed arms*
G: Hehe, you can't even say your name wright! Hehe!
*Jeers at Legolas*
L: STWOP WRIGHT NOW OR ILL CALL MY DADDY AND HE WILL SHOOT YOU!!! WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
*Starts crying hysterically, the elves across the Sea can hear him*
*Gimli starts crying too*

*From behind a big tree, Legolas's and Gimli's fathers are almost dying from laughter. The video camera goes black, as Gloin drops it while laughing.*


Strange image. But yeah, I can imagine it. But guess what?

The camera is looking at a young Faramir holding a wooden sword. Denethor is behind the camera. Faramir is grinning proudly.

D: "What's that you've got there, Faramir?"

Faramir holds up the wooden sword with a bigger grin.

D: "Yeah, I see it. What is it?"

F: (kinda shyly) "A sword..."

D: "A sword? Wow. What's it do?"

F: "Well...."

Young Boromir comes striding in from the side behind Faramir. As he passes, he smacks his brother upside the head with his own sword, causing the youngster to stumble and finally fall to the grass. He starts whimpering as the camera flicks off.

LOL MORE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got one!

*Filmed in Valinor, by little Galadriel's father. Camera shows a pretty little girl with golden hair, bright blue eyes and gappy teeth. Aww ain't she adorable!*

Dad: C'mon honey, show us your new toy.
G: Ok! (Steps aside, to reveal a shimmering puddle in the ground.) Thith ith my mirror, and I can thee thingth with it! (little Galadriel has a lithp)
Dad: Aww what sort of things sweety?
G: (Smiles enigmatically. Even at a young age she was mysterious!) Oh thingth...

Feanor comes past and shoves her into her "mirror".

F: Hahahaha!
G: WAAAAAAAAAA!!! YOUR MEANANDIHATEYOU!!!!!!
F: Well what you gonna do about it hah? You can't even speak properly!
G: Well I thaw what happenth to you in the future and it'th not gonna be pretty...!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (wind starts building up and young Galadriel turns a scary shade of green, lightning flashes and moment passes. She skips off merrily tra la la la la.)

Dad: ooo.....k then.

LOL! That was funny, Tinuviel.

How about this...

Legolas: Hi, im Legolas Greenleaf and welcome to Orcass. Today we're gonna set some Ents on fire...

(cut to battle scene at Isengard, complete with flaming ents)

Hysterical Laughter, or whatever

(Cut back to Legolas)

Legolas: Now, we're gonna show what happens when a Balrog forgets it has wings...

and so it continues...

This was a lot funnier when i first thought of it, so if its not funny now, sorry! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Don't worry, Malcu Luinthol. That sort of thing seems to happen to me often.

Scene:

Little Denethor playing out side.

Dad: What are you doing, son?
Little D: Just playing, dad.
Dad: What are you playing with?
Little D: Matches! Muahahahahahaha!!!!

We always knew he was a pyro from an early age.

The camera pans around the waving grasses of Rohan. It pauses on Théoden who is standing there staring in the distance.

Camera worker: "Well? Where is he?"

Théoden: "Just give him a little bit... wait, there he is!"

Camera pans wildly to the right where a charger comes galloping up at full speed with a youngster on its back. The child is bouncing around wildly on the horse's back and finally falls to the ground, face buried in the dirt. The camera and Théoden run to him as he glances up, face tainted with dust.

Éomer: "Let's do it again!"

(Not horribly funny, but something to do....)

Camera turns to the right and pans out to reveal four year old Eowyn in Theodens armor and an ammused Theoden right next to her

Theoden: What's that you've got there Eowyn sweety?

Eowyn: I's arma!

Theoden: Who's armor is it Eowyn?

Eowyn: I's min arma!

Theoden: How did you get that armor Eowyn?

Eowyn: From you clostet!

Theoden: And what are you going to do with it when you're done with it Eowyn?

Eowyn: I won't!

Theoden: You won't what Eowyn?

Eowyn: be over wit it! I's min!

Theoden: But I'm going to need to wear it pretty soon Eowyn. How am I going to wear it if you're not done with it?

Eowyn: I know.(she dosen't know)

Theoden: Well how about you take it off and-

Eowyn: Nooooooo! *runs towards Theoden and kickes him in the shins* I's min arma, i's min arma!

Camera pans out and fades as screams of pain are heard from Theoden