Aahh!! It burns!!

Sort of inspired by Morsul's inspiration from Hookbill's post...


Pippin: This is an ex-Merry!!

Pippin: Aragorn! You know that elf you were going to marry but weren't sure you wanted to stop her from losing her immortality?

Aragorn *off screen*: yes?

Pippin: Well, you don't have to worry about her anymore. Mr. Olyphant has... well... you know...

No one was more shocked than Merry and Pippin when Frodo slipped on the wrong ring, and instead of turning invisible, turned into a dead oliphaunt.

------

"Oh no!!! The Oliphaunt crushed my Barbie Dreamhouse!!!"

------

Merry was so excited that Fido learned how to play dead, that he glued himself to Pippin. He immediately wished he had found some other way to express his joy.

The Olyphant ate Aragorn! But it died of food poisoning. Pippin was dismayed as Aragorn cut his way out to return, smellier than ever.

Planes, Trains and Oliphaunts
 

M: Pippin, hy are you kissing my ear?

P: Why are you holding my hand?

M: Where's your other hand?

P: Between two pillows.

M: Those aren't pillows!!

Both: AAAARRRGH!

Merry: Pippin, this isn't an opera - I'm injured, when someone is injured you get help... you don't sing a de capo aria while they die...

Pippin: "Ahg! What is that behind us Merry!?"

Merry: "Don't worry Pip, it's just a blue (or green) screen."

Merry tried in vain to tell if Pippin had died from sheer shock, but he couldn't for the life of him find Pippin's heart in his throat...


~ Aesthete

Merry didn't like having his picture taken.

Pippin: Wow! That Olyphant was scary... But what is THAT?

Merry: Oh calm down! It's just a new picture...

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images...book/11211.jpg

It seems that the Eye of Sauron was putting on too much weight.

Sauron: Uuurrr... I knew that last muffin was a mistake...

OR

Ah, slave labour; you get what you pay for.

Sauron's morning workout

Sauron: You do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around... and that's what it's all about

The leaning tower of Barad-dur.

"Are your eyes dry and irritated? Are they red and puffy? Then you need Clear Eyes It'll clear your eyes up in a jiffy."

The termite problem in Barad-dûr got really bad.

Sauron's punishment for breaking the No Smoking rule. He couldn't help it, being a ball of fire.

OR

Sauron: Those Orcs are literally eating me out of house and home!

Sauron: "I am all powerf-arrrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sauron never really got the hang of the barbecue...but would he give up and use the perfectly good grill in the kitchens of Barad Dur? No ..... of course not... he might be a Maia .. but he was a male Maia... :p

*slaps forehead* ooh, I didn't upgrade to earthquake protection.

Whoever said a chocolate tower would be better than a stone tower was clearly mistaken.

Which leads to...

"Aaaaggh! I'm meltiiiiiing!"

Some Mordor Maths...

1 Drunk Witch King + 1 Mount Zoom = Smash!

OR

Sauron: Noo! I didn't pay the insurance on the tower!

To everyone's amazement this tower was alive and loved to dance to the macrena

Going off Morsul
 

In the dance-off Sauron found Boromir's moves were too much for him to handle.

This is what happens is you leave the iron on.

YOu know that story about pking your eye out with scissors? its true :eek:

or

Sauron- o look a penny.....darn my no arms

This gave me an idea!

Sauron really suffered when he had an itch!

Eye'm on fire today
 

When Sauron found out that someone had destroyed his precious ring, he looked a bit down and said: What is the point of that'

or

Eye'm popping out for a bit.

The Gondorians revealed themselves as the bad punsters that they were by handing out complementary bottles of eyedrops on the day that Sauron fell because, after all...the Eye had dropped. :rolleyes:

Sauron's balancing act didn't last very long.

OR You knew it was coming!

Necromancer, Dark Lord, Evil King, whatever your title, it won't save you from the horror of Gandalf the grey uncloaked!

Stealing from Nilp again...
 

Flint: 2 silver

Fuses: 8 silver

Blasting powder: 37 silver

Having the satisfaction of single-handedly causing the destruction of the tower of Barad-Dur: Priceless

There are some things money can't buy; for everything else, there's MallornCard.

Sauron: I can see my house from heeeeeeeerrrrrreeeee... *splat*

OR

Sauron: I could have had the dark cottage of Barad-dûr, that wouldn't have been such a bad fall... But NOOO! I had to go with the fancy tower.

Sauron leans over to chat to the cute little palace next-door.

This new post-modern architecture just didn't seem to hold up under pressure as well as the neo-classical style.

Despite being a very powerful flaming eye, Sauron was no match for the giant saber-toothed worms that sometimes haunted the plains of Gorgoroth.

Sauron: "Okay, this is the last time I let the Gondorians build my tower, no matter how helpful they appear to be."

Sauron always regretted trying to crane his neck to get a better view of those eagles.

Just as Sauron's new Tower of Evil Cubism was nearly complete, Picasso fell into another blue period...


~ Aesthete

Sauron: Aaahh... I'm so bad at this...

OR

Sauron: I did it... MY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY *Splat*

All the orcs gathered around the tower:

Orcs (in unison): Ring around the tower, our pockets full of bread.... ASHES Ashes..... The eye falls down....


Sauron: Darn kids.......


~~~~~~~~~~~OR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frodo and Sam playing hide-n-go-seek...... Sam hides behind the "large stack of rocks"


Sam: Ok Frodo come find me.....

Frodo forgot to put on his glasses and runs into the tower......

Sauron: Who did that???

Frodo points at Sam: The old lady did it!!!!!