The Hobbit Survivor
 

Welcome one and all to the third season (game) of Survivor!!! This game will have almost all the characters that were in or were named in The Hobbit (I think there were only one or two name I left out). I've been asked by a few people that I return to how the game was run by Boro and I will do exactly that.

Rules

1) Can't vote for more than one person. Retractable votes will be allowed until the final five.

2) You have to come up with a funny excuse for you reason to vote that person out. It can be an inside joke or something that everyone will get. It doesn't matter as long as it's comedic.

3) Lastly (and most importantly I might add), HAVE FUN!!!!!

The tribes are as follows:

Hobbits
Belladonna Took
Bilbo
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Bungo Bagins
Old Took

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bofur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Durin (The first King under the Mountain)
Dwalin
Fili
Fundin
Gloin
Kili
Nain (father of Dain)
Nori
Oin
Ori
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thorin
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Chief of Guards
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others

Gandalf
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer

Well, it's Day 1. Vote away!!! :D

Ps: I added Necromancer and Gollum to the Other tribe to even it out, or try to anyway. :rolleyes:

Pss: Just to let everyone know that end voting time will be at around 10pm Est time, -5GMT (if that's wrong Wilwa, correct me, or anyone else who is in my time zone)

++Bilbo

He's a liar and a thief. His most heinous crime is of course stealing the ring from Gollum and lying to Gandalf about it then stealing the Arkenstone.

We need no such miscreant on this island.

++Bombur

He's a fat sluggard, rather useless, eats more than his alotted rations. Must I remind everyone of his dismal performances at the challenges?! He's a disgrace to his tribe!!

++Smaug!
 

His tribe needed to make fire yet he wouldn't even sneeze for them

Well, the Hobbit team seems a little up against the ropes for the start of the game, so I'll leave them alone.

Keep all the Dwarves for now, cause they're gonna win.

Let's get rid of The Master. He's just gonna end up swaying everyone in the wrong direciton later on. Better to get rid of him now.

++The Master

++Galion
For being a terrible butler, to a terrible elf.

Too many Dwarves in this game. Let's even things out a bit...

++BOMBUR ...
...for sleeping through challenges, thereby forcing the rest of his team to pick up his tasks, stealing food from Bilbo, and generally whining far too much to be in a Survivor contest.

I say, let the axe fall on Thorin. He is vain, pompous, arrogent, and sullen most of the time. All he does is brood about bygone misdeeds done to his ancestors.

++Thorin

I say

++Bombur,

as we really need to conserve food around here and he'll just be hogging it all. Plus, he's absolutely useless...unless everybody's really starving and desperately needs some extra meat. ;)

I will be voting and my votes will be biast, for the most part. :p So, my first vote will be towards

++Thorin

He's such a pompous arrogant little... GRR!!! Everytime they have a challenge, all he thinks about is himself!! He wants to win it, but he forgets that he has to work as a team with the other Dwarves to do it!!

With Thorin gone, the Dwarves will have no right to Smaug's treasure. Besides, he's essentially a decent type. He appreciates Bilbo when the burglar shows his quality, and he fights valiantly in the Battle of Five Armies.

I quite like Bombur, too, with his amusing dreams, so I shall vote for

++BOFUR

because he sounds like something out of Disney.

I'm all for being contrary, as usual.

I recommend thinning out that Dwarven tribe: it's far too large to be fair.

And no, by "thinning", I do not mean Bombur (although that would be an appropriate choice). Nay, I be thinking of Thrain, son of Thror, Last Keeper of the Ring of Durin.

Seriously, if Thorin was an arrogant old dwarf, then Thrain was worse. Where do you think Thorin got it from? Really, old Thrain was crazy. I mean, leading an attack on Azog et al simply for revenge? For YEARS? Not to mention stupidly falling into the Necromancer's hands...

Finally, we have Gandalf's word that he was nuts. Not just nots, but blitheringly, stupidly, insane.

It can only be:

++Thrain son of Thror

Unquestionably, a Dwarf should go. There are too many of them by half. But let's keep in mind what this show is about - entertainment.

Bombur may be hopeless at the tasks, but he is great entertainment value. The way he huffs and puffs and grumbles his way through tasks. The way he falls asleep at amusing times and then has to be carried everywhere, giving rise to resentment and precipitating arguments. The way he surreptitiously scoffs all the food when no one else is looking (and we surely all know how much better these shows are when the food runs low). He is undoubtedly one of the large characters on the show, in every sense of the word, and should not go yet.

Thorin and Thrain are admittedly stubborn, obstinate and argumentative but the situations that these characteristics provoke, particularly with the Elves and Goblins, have given rise to some great viewing and will do so time after time. Again, they have character and should both stay for that reason.

Of course, most of the Dwarves are characters, to one degree or another. But there are two who have almost no character whatsoever. I don't think that I have even heard them speak, let alone say or do anything remotely entertaining. Indeed, I would be hard pressed to recall their names had Glirdan not kindly listed them above. I speak of none other than Bifur and Bofur. What is the point of these guys? Does anyone know anything about them at all?

It's difficult to choose between them, but since Bifur has the slightly more amusing name and because Bofur already has one vote against him, Bofur edges it for me.

++ BOFUR

+ + The Bullroarer

Is there a more stupid game around then golf?

++Golfimbul (that creep)

He is a "great" Orc who gets killed by a Hobbit.

Is there anything more imbarissing than get killed by a hobbit in a very silly way?

Thorin is a honey. Bombur's dreams are indeed amusing and his size actually disadvantages the dwarf team rather than the opposite so I see no point turfing him out yet.

++BOFUR

I don't think Bombur should get anywhere near the final five, however, on further thoughts placed by others it is fun to have him about for entertainment value.

Did you see the looks on their faces when Bombur was describing his fanciful dreams of feasts and there is no more food won from the reward challenge because he ate the rest while the others were gathering wood?! (Of course, the only reason the dwarves won the challenge at all is because they made him sit out on account of uneven numbers).

So I change...

--Bombur

++Bofur

I still think we need to thin out the dwarves.

Very interesting Saucy, I am swayed.

--The Master
++Bofur

But mark my words: The Master will wreak havoc before the end!

Hmm, quite interesting arguments have been presented for Bofur. I too am convinced.

--BOMBUR
++BOFUR

I still think that Thrain is more worthy of death than the others, being certifiably mad, but I do so want to see the Dwarven tribe thinned that I will recast my vote for that nameless menace, the dreaded Bofur... Who knows what he actually does in the story? Is he along for any good purpose, or is he a nefarious criminal, the real burglar of the expedition, intent on restoring the fortunes of Belegost and the renewal of his house with the gold Erebor?

-- Thrain ++Bofur

In addition, Bofur is the brother of Bombur. Perhaps his disappearance will transform Bombur into a vengeful warrior...

As Mr. Spock would say:
"Anguirel, your logic is impeccable". So...
- - Bullroarer
+ + Bofur

Well, just because of Saucy's awsome point on how useless those two are...

--Thorin
++Bofur

I see you all being stewed in SpM's Webs of deceit. I have no opinion on Bofur myself but come on let's think about what else Bilbo did. I really didn't want to pull out this weapon this early but I am now forced to soas we can get discussion about Bilbo underway.

He is the blasted person that wrote about Elves singing Tra-la-la-lally. Is this the kind of person we want on our Island here? He's obviously a slanderer and bigot. Then after this debasing writing he goes and lives with those whom he defaces, he's got a lot of nerve. He won't hesitate to back stab anyone to get to the top.

++BOFUR

I want to join in but had little time to formulate an argument, so I'll go with the crowd today. Saucepan 'brainwasher' man made some good points, and we need to get rid of some Dwarves straight off anyway.

Oh, I do hope so. All the more reason for him to stay for now. :D

I can see that mormegil and I are going to cross swords on this thread before very long. Such slander ... :rolleyes: ;)

Well, it's the end of Day one and everyone decided to thin out the tribe of Dwarves. The first Dwarf to suffer the onslaught of the voters was Bofur the Untalkative. Here is some things said be the Swarven tribe: "I say, he is too quiet! We need someone who contributes positively to the tribe with ideas!! Not some quiet old fool who does nothing!!" one said. "Agreed!! Sure he helps out with the camp and the challenges, but that's it!! We need stratagey here people!! He doesn't contribute like that. Plus, his name sounds like it comes from Disney!!" (and this is where the other Dwarves look around confused and say "What in Eru's name are you talking about!?") It was an almost unanimous vote. Here's exactly the amount of votes:

Bilbo - 1
Bombut - 1
Smaug - 1
Galion - 1
Thorin - 1
Bofur - 10
Golfumbul - 1

As you see, he was quite unnumbered. Then, they all got a shock. Bofur actually spoke!! And this is what he had to say: "Good night!!" That's it!! Oh well, at least he spoke! :rolleyes:

Contestants voted out:
Bofur

The remaining contestants:

Hobbits
Belladonna Took
Bilbo
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)
Bungo Bagins
Old Took

Dwarves
Balin
Bifur
Bombur
Dain
Dori
Durin (The first King under the Mountain)
Dwalin
Fili
Fundin
Gloin
Kili
Nain (father of Dain)
Nori
Oin
Ori
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thorin
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)

Men/Elves
Bard
Beorn
Chief of Guards
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
The Master
Girion

Bad Guys
Azog
Bert
Bolg
Golfimbul
Great Goblin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Others
Gandalf
Eagle Lord
Roac
Carc
Gollum
Necromancer

Vote away!!!

++Bert
 

I'll have to go with Bert. He will not participate on the challenges during the day because "The doctor said he might be petrified :rolleyes: "

Hope I'm not making a fool of myself, Bert is the Troll, right?

I say we keep Dwarf mangling for a while. And I certainly wouldn't hurt one of the endangered Trolls.

Down with Fundin! He wasn't even on the Quest and is only shakily mentioned in genealogies! Nobody will miss him; Balin's much too old to have some ancient repressive father watching his every move...

++FUNDIN

Have Thorin and Company left Bagend yet? if not,
you don't want to eliminate too many dwarves
since that would make Bilbo much less agitated
(less pillaging of his pantry- especially his cakes :( )
and hence less easily persuaded to go on the quest.

And shouldn't Galadriel and Saruman be in the game?
They presumably participated on the attack on the
Necromancer. Not to mention the nazgul.

I'll say + + William
He seems too nice, he doesn't even like to eat burrahobbits!

lets go with ++Gloin.

while his name does not sound quite Disneyish, it is arguably worse than Bofur's (which i quite liked, by the way :mad: ).

Only if you pronounce it incorrectly!

News just in-Fundin stands for Fund in Nurn. This Dwarven blackguard is clearly accepting subsidies in a dark pact with the Necromancer himself!

Oh, com'on! Bert is like the most loveable bag guy ever! You can't vote him out yet! ;)


I still say The Master should go, but I don't think my campaign has enough steam to go the distance.

But another dwarf will go, so let's see what we've got:

Balin - sounds like a crybaby. (<-----bad puns abound.)
Bifur - a bumbling baffoon.
Bombur - an ever-hungry bumbling baffoon.
Dain - who is this guy? Some town-maker or what?
Dori - put him on hinges in a doorway. (<------bad pun again.)
Durin - could endure to the end. (<------oh, another groaner.)
Dwalin - talks funny.
Fili - a 76er's fan, no doubt.
Fundin - I bet he's fun. (<-----bad, bad pun.)
Gloin - makes me think of groin....?
Kili - he's a killer, let him stay.
Nain - ????...?
Nori - blameshifter. [nor I] (<-----bad puns abound.)
Oin - just got hit in the groin. (<-----still abounding.)
Ori - what kind of name is Ori anyway
Thrain - well, he might have sthrain for victory. (<-----okay, that's the last one.)
Thorin - pompus windbag
Thror - what a boar. (<-----sorry, couldn't resist.)

So after that 'in depth analysis', I will go kick out the most fun/friendly/caring/peaceful dwarf and leave the bloodthirsty/offensive/deadly/egotistical/grumpy/stupid(/entertaining). With that in mind, I narrow it down to three.

Dain
Nain
Ori

That's tough, but I think I'll go with

++Ori

because he loves himself too much.

++Durin

Though they call him the deathless his corpse is stinking rather badly and is distracting all.

Though I will be going for Bilbo soon!

Nain....

A homonym of "neighin' ", which clearly suggests that his name means "Old Horse Face" in Khuzdul. Clearly, an unsavoury character, and we have too many Dwarves as it is. And he ought to be dead by the time of The Hobbit anyway. Let's help him fulfill his destiny!

++Nain, son of Gror

I guess, but were they mentioned in The Hobbit?


Hmmm. Who to go for. There's a long list gathering up here.

I think I'll go for

++Great Goblin

If he's so great, why did he go and get killed by a measely wizard?

++Ori

Was there even a point to bringing him along? He contributed absolutely nothing to the Quest, as did quite a few other Dwarves on it. Come on, we need to get rid of some of these redundant characters!

I dont know why I didnt notice this was here but I will vote for a random.
++william
I picked a random villain I want the villains to lose.

To save William I will join Gurthang's campaign against the fairly nondescript Dwarf

++ORI

I feel rather sorry for William myself. Poor little blighter. I suspect he's really not such a villain after all, just misunderstood and lonely.

++ORI