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-   -   What do you assign to Mordor? (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=11894)

The Saucepan Man 05-07-2005 10:54 AM

I would send ...
 
Intolerant people who would assign minor irritations to the most miserable, dangerous and evil place in the world without a moment's thought ... :p ;)

Happily, though, having assigned me to Mordor, it seems that people are now sending some of my favourite things there. So maybe it's not so bad after all. :D

littlemanpoet 05-07-2005 11:13 AM

Yes, I find it somewhat affrighting
by the speed most blighting
with which various among us Dead
do find ourselves so led
as to "swat a fly toward Mordor".
But if Tolkien will deplore
a Siamese Cat,
are flies better than that?

What else did Tolkien so deplore
as to assign to Mordor?

Formendacil 05-07-2005 11:19 AM

To be a bit more "real-life" and less "not-so-real-life" than my last contribution:
 
People who go up to you at work and ask "Do you work here?"

People who come in to the library at the same time of the same day, every week, and look at the same books, which are then left around to be picked up and reshelved for them to come in and look at in a week's time.

Kids/teens who come in to the library for something like eight hours a week to go on the computers and play the SAME internet game each time. Get a life, people! No wonder obesity is on the rise. Internet use I can understand, eight hours I can understand (easily), but on the SAME game in the PUBLIC LIBRARY????

Lawnmowing: it's pointless. It never stops. ;)

Lathriel 05-07-2005 06:00 PM

One no-brainer Britney spears.
Also I agree with Encaitare that AP exams should fit in nicely.

Math should also go to Mordor. Its evil. Luckily this will be my last year ever taking math. Can't wait till I'm done.

Nuclear bombs should go to Mordor and STAY there never to bother us again. Although we might just run out of room.

peopl who snore should go to Mordor untill they stop.

mormegil 05-07-2005 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man
Intolerant people who would assign minor irritations to the most miserable, dangerous and evil place in the world without a moment's thought ...

Happily, though, having assigned me to Mordor, it seems that people are now sending some of my favourite things there. So maybe it's not so bad after all. :D


I must correct you Saucepan Man I gave these exactly a moments thought no more no less :D ;)

Lalwendë 05-08-2005 05:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lmp
Yes, I find it somewhat affrighting
by the speed most blighting
with which various among us Dead
do find ourselves so led
as to "swat a fly toward Mordor".
But if Tolkien will deplore
a Siamese Cat,
are flies better than that?

What else did Tolkien so deplore
as to assign to Mordor?

I'd like to see more posts written in verse! :)

I think I'm with Tolkien on motor transport. Like him, I drive because there's not always a lot of choice, and it would be restrictive if I could not do that. Cars are fine when you are in one, but when you are standing by the side of a stinky road they most definitely are not. On May Day we were halfway up a local hill (a mountain in English terms ;) ) and some kids roared past on scrambling bikes, ruining it for everyone else.

I still can't get my head round why he didn't like Siamese cats though! That seems arbitrary so I too can be arbitrary. Today my pet peeve is going to be people who rush everywhere and tut when you take your time, e.g. getting in a huff when I chat to shop assistants while I pay, which I think is only being pleasant - but then I think Tolkien might agree with me on that one. :p

Mithalwen 05-09-2005 06:49 AM

Well I don't object to chatting to shop assistants per se but it can be maddening if the gossip for ages and you are debating whether you really have to get back to the office this instant or can hang on for another 5 minutes without incurring too much wrath. And I do find it baffling that people queue for half an hour to get their car tax and then look suprised to be asked for their MOT and Insurance docs and start rummaging in their handbags... but I wouldn't necessarily condemn tem to Mordor for their lack of forethought.......

Leylandii must go there though.... and slugs my poor hostas look like ... well very holey things indeed... Boromir maybe... ;)

Bęthberry 05-09-2005 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet
Yes, I find it somewhat affrighting
by the speed most blighting
with which various among us Dead
do find ourselves so led
as to "swat a fly toward Mordor".
But if Tolkien will deplore
a Siamese Cat,
are flies better than that?

What else did Tolkien so deplore
as to assign to Mordor?


Did Tolkien order
more to Mordor?

Yes and some not so blithely meant
as the Siamese Cats he sent.

First, some of his own side in war
who succumbed to bullying evermore;
And that blasted confraternity
who offended Chris in the army.

Modern life he also placed
in Mordor with disgrace
for its noisome, loathesome
fume and stench,
which daily, goodness it would drench
with uninhabitable pestilence.

Doggerel hath its uses
for allowing abuses
of poetic rhyme and sense.
Time always giddily spent.

Lalwendë 05-09-2005 07:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mithalwen
Well I don't object to chatting to shop assistants per se but it can be maddening if the gossip for ages and you are debating whether you really have to get back to the office this instant or can hang on for another 5 minutes without incurring too much wrath.

Oh I don't hold long discussions, just "Ooh, in't the weather nice today?" kind of chats while I pack my bags up! It does have advantages, as today I was able to purchase a breakfast even though I was outside stated times and got free bacon into the bargain, all because I was 'a regular'. :)

Today my thing for Mordor will be the nanny state, something else I think Tolkien would agree with. By this I mean the sanctimonious government initiatives which have led to almost constant news stories prying into people's personal lives and there is too much criticising and trying to modify our behaviour. I don't care what people give their children to eat, it's up to them frankly. I'm sure Tolkien would have agreed with this. The Shire was filled with happy Hobbits, smoking, drinking and eating to their hearts' content; they'd get roundly scolded for this today. ;)

Mithalwen 05-09-2005 01:35 PM

While on the whole I am for minimal government interference, people should be aware of what they are doing - and the government has responsibility for school (and hospital ) food... so many children are malnourished - my form group had 27/31 on free school meals, which should to my mind mean that a child is guaranteed one nutritious meal a day regardless of parental housekeeping skills. However the food offered was disgusting -I did try and persuade one of my group (aged 13 looked about 9..) that a lunch consiting entirely of jelly might not be the best option..... but I cannot say I blame him given the alternatives....

I think hobbit children despite their natural build and substantial food requirements were realtively healthy and active - and it was all natural and organic I bet. I am sure that Tolkien would not have approved of children so hyped on sugar and additives that they can't concentrate and so obese they can't move.... in the words of the "Now Show", children who just sit there and fizz.....


As for smoking - smokers more than fund themselves with the tax they pay so as far as I am concerned they can puff away to your heart's content.... :D

Bywaters 05-09-2005 03:03 PM

Mithalwen posted:
Quote:

And I do find it baffling that people queue for half an hour to get their car tax and then look suprised to be asked for their MOT and Insurance docs and start rummaging in their handbags...
... and when you finally get to the counter, you get told that it has gone up five pounds! :mad: With no explaination or apology.
I think the whole British public transport system and the way it is funded should go to Mordor.

Lalwendë posted:
Quote:

Today my thing for Mordor will be the nanny state...
I live in quite a green area with some parks and fields, literally acres, but you never see anyone use it! When me and my mates go for a "kick about" we're usually the only ones there. No wonder kids are getting obese if they never do any exercise. I think it is partly to do with the "nanny state"; parents not letting their kids out where they cant see them.

Mithalwen 05-10-2005 06:11 AM

There isn't actually, as far as I know laws against letting kids out - it is just that people are paranoid that they will be abducted, run over etc and councils etc are terrified of being sued... all very depressing really... little patches of Mordor everywhere.... People are very bad at realistically assessing risk.... and the media is partly to blame for that.

Celebuial 05-10-2005 06:45 AM

More stuff to send shipping:
 
Chavs: I live in a place particularly full of them, they just play loud music on their mobiles, spit swear, loaf around annoy passers-by and vandalise things. I hate to classify people but when you're surrounded by them it becomes easier.

People who use the phrase "It's not rocket science": Well, rocket science isn't really that hard.....

People who assume that I'm a fan of Star Trek just because I'm starting an Astrophysics degree.

Feanor of the Peredhil 05-10-2005 07:01 AM

Um... what's a "Chav"?

One thing that can certainly be sent with no return... computer viruses. And spyware. They can rot there.

Anguirel 05-10-2005 10:11 AM

I'm also going to Mordor over the vote. There's the Emily-Davison-in-front-of-the-King's-horse angle, and the oh-my-God-40%-that-could-have-mangled-Blair-has-been-wasted angle. Both seem pretty convincing to me. And the BNP are Uruk-Hai, so they're there in any case...

Celebuial 05-11-2005 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peredhil
Um... what's a "Chav"?

A chav is the kind of person that wears Burbery( sorry can't spell that!), or Von Dutch when they can't afford it, or imitations of these. Their mecca is the JD Sports shop chain.They live in tracksuits and wear their trousers tucked in to their socks; they have those really vulgar trainers with the huge soles and springs and stuff; they hang around in large groups and harrass people; they spit; swear constantly; don't tend to do well at school/college; use lots of slang; they hate any one who is different from them; and most important, they only liked LotR when it was 'in' and then they only liked the special effects and fights scenes in the movie. As soon as the films were over anyone who liked LotR was 'out' and they now hated the film's because they couldn't understand them and because they were 'too long'. They haven't heard of Tolkien and prob'ly don't know whaty a book is.

I'm not going to appologise to anyone for insulting them because I know that none of you guys could be chavs (you're too nice and 'Tolkieny'). Perhapp's it is now apparent why these foul creatures should be assigned to Mordor?

Celebuial 05-11-2005 02:30 AM

Oh, corsets should go too.

Mithalwen 05-11-2005 11:29 AM

Chav /chavettes here are a few examples.. but not sure of the US equivalent is trailer trash maybe? ... there are rich chavs too for whom money has not bought taste... ;)

Mithalwen 05-11-2005 11:37 AM

Chav /chavettes ... here are a few examples.. but not sure of the US equivalent is trailer trash maybe? ...

http://www.littlebritain.tv/characters_vicky.htm

http://www.siglamag.com/blaggersguide/0412/Chavs.php

http://www.chavscum.co.uk/celebrity.php

littlemanpoet 05-11-2005 07:59 PM

Chav /chavettes ... Ug. I guess we Americans finally have something to feel sorry for you Brits about. Yeah, I noticed a few Americans on that scum site, but it still seems to be a Brit phenomenon (I hope I don't meet up with any of it when I go this Autumn). We have another name for the same thing, I suppose: Hollywood.

Eomer of the Rohirrim 05-12-2005 04:55 AM

By looking through the thread, a logical conclusion?
 
With a cheery misanthropic wave of my hand,
I assign people in general to The Black Land.


(no offence guys, mais l'enfer c'est les autres.) :D

Celebuial 05-16-2005 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim
With a cheery misanthropic wave of my hand,
I assign people in general to The Black Land.

Quite understandable. I'm sure we deserve it! There are probably countless reasons why we should all be made to burn in the pits of Sammath Naur or to starve on the Plains Of Gorgoroth. What evil creatures we are!

Oh well, I s'pose it might be fun, but maybe only for the sadistc portion of our kind.

Just one question... If we were all in Mordor who would be enjoying a human free world? Other than animals (excluding the ones already assigned to Mordor), and tree's nearly everything has been assigned to Mordor. Maybe we already live in mordor with only a few glimpses of the star's shining through the cloud's after all.

Anguirel 05-16-2005 08:04 AM

The opposite conclusion
With goodwill and collusion
Would be to spare us all
From where the shadows fall.

These evils are subjective
Or, one might say, elective
Should you wish to smoke or drink
Is it Mordor in a blink?

The Siamese discerning
Still doesn't deserve burning-
Nay, even my Alsatians
Should give no such reparations.

Mordor was by the King purged
For good reason-cease to urge
Its all too quick repopulation
Can only lead to detestation.

Eomer of the Rohirrim 05-16-2005 09:04 AM

Celeb, whomsoever finds his or herself in the position to assign something to Mordor should enjoy the human-free world. If anyone, I hope it's me! Or maybe if you look closely enough, I am comparing our own world to Mordor. How cynical of me.

Ang, very nice poem. You should have a rhyming face-off with Kransha. I think that would entertain the whole Barrowdowns. :smokin:

Elonve 05-30-2005 11:45 PM

People who cut Q's! Can't you wait your turn??

Pervs! get a life!

Dentists...ugly vile evil...inhumane creatures!

when you are waiting for the doctor to see you and they break for Coffee! cant the caffine wait??

I.B exams!

Republicans,(i.e. George W. Bush)

Bible thumpers

cheerleaders and jocks

VECTORS and ALGEBRA!
________
Digital Vaporizer

Elonve 06-06-2005 11:26 PM

thongs
________
Glass bong

Gil-Galad 06-07-2005 07:06 AM

My Math teacher...

Orominuialwen 06-07-2005 02:37 PM

Quote:

Republicans,(i.e. George W. Bush)
This forum really isn't the place for political comments, if you don't mind. Not all of us have the same views, and there are other places to discuss such things...

Final exams

Bad weather

Mosquitoes

the phantom 06-07-2005 02:41 PM

Quote:

This forum really isn't the place for political comments
I agree. But what's done is done, so now someone needs to balance out what Elonve said for the sake of fairness.

Therefore, I declare that all people who think Republicans should go to Mordor should go to Mordor themselves. :p

Anguirel 06-07-2005 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orominuialwen
Mosquitoes

This forum really isn't the place for biological comments, if you don't mind. Not all of us have the same views.

Oh, wait, it's mosquitoes. They do.

Lhunardawen 06-08-2005 12:20 AM

To Mordor they will go...
 
Seven o'clock classes, especially if you live 2 hours away.

Upperclassmen who think freshies are "just freshies" so they don't have as much right. Who do they think they are? :mad:

And budget cuts on my university. Oh, for crying out loud. As if we're not facility-challenged enough.

Then again, there's always hope for all these to redeem themselves...

Eomer of the Rohirrim 06-08-2005 09:22 AM

I was going to post those sentiments after (I think it was the second) post, when someone said Communists should go to Mordor. Why are we talking about stuff like that? I thought this thread was for things like 7 o' clock classes (Amen, Lhuna!) and other such nonsense and fun.

Anywho, I assign mobile phones. Evil, evil things. On that I have no doubt JRRT would agree with me. Not that I'm living in the past or anything...

Orominuialwen 06-08-2005 10:22 AM

Geometry -- I just completely bombed my final. :mad:

Flash -- Everything I do with that software comes out all messed up, no matter what I try.

Elonve 06-08-2005 11:42 PM

sorry about the comment i made before. i now realize it was politiclly incorrect and was quite rude. i would like to make a formal appology to all who were hurt by my comment... i would like to personally thank the phantom for coming to my aid.

one thing i know that should go to mordor is war.

embarresed el
________
Design Host

Lathriel 06-09-2005 10:31 PM

I agree with thongs. Especially when the girl who is wearing one is also wearing low pants, thus showing off her thong. SHUDDER

And if a guy wears one...that is just wrong. He should be sent straight to Barad-Dur

Child of the 7th Age 06-09-2005 11:58 PM

Quote:

I personally assign to Mordor people on the road who race 15 or more over the speed limit only to end up at the red light, waiting, because they haven't enough sense or patience or both to go the speed limit and catch the lights green, which are all timed to work out right. Oh, and tailgaters too.
Whoops! Littlemanpoet, I do believe you have been spying on me as I go about my errands at a too hasty pace.... :eek: I will try to do better.

Here are a few of additions of my own. In the context of the modern world, it's not the Saurons that bother me as much as the Sarumans. There are too many of the latter running around making our lives miserable, and I would like to see them packed off to Mordor en masse. A few prime examples....
  • The geniuses who created all the picky details of the IRS tax code and then wrote these down in words that no one--well, almost no one--can understand. I think Saruman in particular would have loved poking into people's lives this way!
  • Those who trumpet the SAT and SATII tests as the one true barometer to gage a young person's mind and intellectual potential for purposes of college admissions (all the while vociferously maintaining that they are not doing that).
  • The modern Sarumans who run about with a superior attitude looking down on the Hobbits of the world without really understanding who those Hobbits are or what they face in their daily life.

Lalwendë 06-10-2005 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathriel
And if a guy wears one...that is just wrong. He should be sent straight to Barad-Dur

Ugh! Thanks to that I have a horrible image in my mind and think I will have to go and scrub my brains clean with some carbolic soap and a stiff nailbrush. :eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Child
The geniuses who created all the picky details of the IRS tax code and then wrote these down in words that no one--well, almost no one--can understand. I think Saruman in particular would have loved poking into people's lives this way!

What? Civil servants?! The secret is that even they cannot understand what such codes and forms really mean.

Lathriel 06-10-2005 09:15 PM

My pleasure Lalwende! :D

I would also like to send the Wendy's guy a.k.a Wendy's unoficial spokesman to Mordor plus the Canadian Tire couple. (Just love what airfarce does with them)

the guy who be short 06-11-2005 08:41 AM

I suggest that all people who try to speak Old English when they can't be packed off straight to Mordor. It's not really hugely different from English, nor is it difficult to learn when to use "thou," "thy" and "thee." And please, learn your verbs. And why do I see people adding "-eth" to the ends of nouns? And...
*TGWBS mumbles on for a few more hours as less pedantic people leave one by one.*

littlemanpoet 06-11-2005 07:13 PM

My dear friend, tghbs, thou speakest not of Old English nor its descendant, Middle English, but Jamesian English, otherwise named Shakespearian, for the speech of the great poet's plays and that found in holy scripture. Have a care, young sirrah, to know of what thou speakest before thou displayest thine opinions. ;)

And I do believe that all of my usages are grammitcally correct.


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