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ArcusCalion 06-29-2018 07:24 AM

Concerning Gandalf, Saruman, and the Shire
 
This is the first draft of the chapter Concerning Gandalf, Saruman, and the Shire.

This chapter uses two sources: the next of the same name from UT and the various notes that follow, as well as Of the Rings of Power. I note when any addition is made for convenience.

The markings are:
FY-HL-xx for all the headlines for the Fading Years.
GS-SL-xx for all expansions and changes to the narrative.

Some conventions of my writing:

Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalized text, normally only used for general changes, as well as changes which are a part of replacement that is not grammatical.
Underlined Text = text changed for grammatical reasons in the process of combining and inserting and removing.
<source example> = additions with source information
...... = This section of the paragraph is unchanged from the source.

Quote:

FY-HL-14 <CONCERNING GANDALF, SARUMAN, AND THE SHIRE>

GS-SL-01 <ORP Now the Shadow grew ever greater, and the hearts of Elrond and Mithrandir darkened. Therefore on a time ..... And returning to Elrond he said:
‘True, alas, is our guess. This is not .... if they live still on earth.’
And Elrond answered: ‘In the hour ..... that Sauron should return.’
‘Yet the One was lost,' said Mithrandir, .... strength and tarry not too long.’
Then the White Council was summoned; .... to wait yet and to watch.
‘For I believe not,’ said he, ..... broken and the deeps are removed.’
Therefore naught was done .... and he said to Mithrandir:
‘Nonetheless I forebode that ..... deliver us that my eyes cannot see.’
‘Many are the strange chances ..... hands of the weak when the Wise falter.’
Thus the Wise were troubled, but none ..... when the Ring should appear.
He set a watch upon the Gladden Fields; ..... this was but part of the watch upon the Enemy.>
GS-SL-02 <CGS
Saruman soon became jealous of Gandalf, and this rivalry turned at last to a hatred, ..... setting a watch, so far as he was able, upon all his movements.
It was in this way that Saruman came to give thought ..... but he took heed nonetheless.
Seeing then that Gandalf thought the Shire worth visiting, ..... So when long after he learned something of the finding of GS-SL-03 {Gollum's}the One Ring by the Halfling, he could ..... That Gandalf's mistrust of him was merited and just in no way lessened his anger.
Yet in truth Saruman's spying and great secrecy ..... had mistaken him for Gandalf.
After that Saruman went no more to the Shire, ..... victory to within a nail's breadth of his grasp.>
GS-SL-04 <CGS
Now because of his dislike and fear, in the later days Saruman avoided Gandalf, ..... your toys of fire and smoke, while others are in earnest speech.’
But Gandalf laughed, and replied: ..... perhaps, in your high policies.’
Saruman was little appeased by this answer ..... and I have no time for the simples of peasants.’
Gandalf did not laugh again; and he did not answer, ..... and his face was dark with doubt and displeasure.>
GS-SL-05 <CGS
{This story appears in half a dozen different manuscripts, and in one of them it is said that} Saruman was suspicious, doubting whether he read .... people as the Halflings for their own sake merely.>
GS-SL-06 <CGS
It was a strange chance, that being angered ..... Saruman would conceive: to gain possession and to forestall him.>
FY-HL-14: This headline fits best for what we are discussing in this chapter. Originally, there was a great deal more unrealted information used at the end of this chapter, but when you split The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel into two chapters, I realized that the same should be done here. Therefore,the next chapter will be composed of all the information unrelated to this subject that had formerly been included at the end.

GS-SL-01: We start our chapter off with Of the Rings of Power, with the information about Gandalf's discovery of the identity of the Necromancer. This sets up the White Council and Saruman's treachery, and leads in perfectly to the UT narrative.

GS-SL-02: Here we begin the narrative with the same name as this chapter given in UT at the back of The Hunt for the Ring. It details the tensions between Saruman and Gandalf, as well as their interest in the Shire.

GS-SL-03: Personally, I think to say 'Gollum's Ring' is not the best term, so I would say we should change it. Also, I know that this chapter jumps forward a bit in the future, but I think it is ok, since it is doing so in order to examine the relationship between Saruman and Gandalf.

GS-SL-04: This story about the pipeweed is given separately, but I think it fits best here.

GS-SL-05: This additional note contains more information.

GS-SL-06: This note also contains more information.

Findegil 07-01-2018 03:43 PM

I am not against using the arrangement ArcusCalion made, but I tried out an alternative given below. My goal was to keep more in line with the chronology. This goal I reached, but only by fragmenting the sources more. So we must discuss what the better arrangement is.
Quote:

GS-SL-02b<CGS Saruman soon became jealous of Gandalf, ... so far as he was able, upon all his movements.
It was in this way ... but he took heed nonetheless.
Seeing then that Gandalf ... So when long after he learned something of the finding of GS-SL-03{Gollum's}the One Ring by the Halfling, he could believe only that Gandalf had known of this all the time; ... in no way lessened his anger.
Yet in truth Saruman's spying ... had mistaken him for Gandalf.
After that Saruman went no more to the Shire, ... bringing victory to within a nail's breadth of his grasp.>
GS-SL-02.5<CGS Now because of his dislike and fear, ... though it was afterwards remembered in a different light.>
GS-SL-01b<ORP Now the Shadow grew ever greater, ... And returning to Elrond he said:
‘True, alas, is our guess. ... if they live still on earth.’
And Elrond answered: ‘In the hour ... that Sauron should return.’
‘Yet the One was lost ... tarry not too long.’
Then the White Council was summoned; and Mithrandir urged them to swift deeds, but Curunír spoke against him, and counselled them to wait yet and to watch.
GS-SL-04.5<CGS The Council met in Rivendell, and Gandalf sat apart, silent, but smoking prodigiously (a thing he had never done before on such an occasion), while Saruman spoke against him, and urged that contrary to Gandalf's advice Dol Guldur should not yet be molested. Both the silence and the smoke seemed greatly to annoy Saruman.>
GS-SL-01.5<ORP ‘For I believe not,’ said he, ‘that the One will ever be found again in Middle-earth. Into Anduin it fell, and long ago, I deem, it was rolled to the Sea. There it shall lie until the end, when all this world is broken and the deeps are removed.’
Therefore naught was done at that time, though Elrond's heart misgave him, and he said to Mithrandir:
‘Nonetheless I forebode that the One will yet be found, and then war will arise again, and in that war this Age will be ended. Indeed in a second darkness it will end, unless some strange chance deliver us that my eyes cannot see.’
‘Many are the strange chances of the world,’ said Mithrandir, 'and help oft shall come from the hands of the weak when the Wise falter.’>
GS-SL-04.7<CGS{Both the silence and the smoke seemed greatly to annoy Saruman, and before}Before the Council dispersed {he}Saruman said to Gandalf: ‘When weighty matters are in debate, Mithrandir, I wonder a little that you should play with your toys of fire and smoke, while others are in earnest speech.’
But Gandalf laughed, ... perhaps, in your high policies.’
Saruman was little appeased ... I have no time for the simples of peasants.’
Gandalf did not laugh again; ... and his face was dark with doubt and displeasure.>
GS-SL-05<CGS{This story appears in half a dozen different manuscripts, and in one of them it is said that }Saruman was suspicious, ... for their own sake merely.>
GS-SL-06<CGS It was a strange chance, ... to forestall him.>
GS-SL-01.7<ORP Thus the Wise were troubled, ... when the Ring should appear.
He set a watch upon the Gladden Fields; ... and deeming that this was but part of the watch upon the Enemy.>
Respectfully
Findegil

ArcusCalion 07-01-2018 11:32 PM

This is a much better structure, thank you Fin, but I have some slight changes to make in the middle for a smoother narrative flow. Keeping the beginning the same as yours, I would change the middle thus:
Quote:

GS-SL-01b <ORP Now the Shadow grew ever greater, .... And returning to Elrond he said:
‘True, alas, is our guess. This ..... if they live still on earth.’
And Elrond answered: ‘In the hour .... Sauron should return.’
‘Yet the One was lost,' said ... and tarry not too long.’
Then the White Council was summoned; .... them to wait yet and to watch.
‘For I believe not,’ said he, ... and the deeps are removed.’
Therefore naught was done ..... and he said to Mithrandir:
‘Nonetheless I forebode that the One ...... that my eyes cannot see.’
‘Many are the strange chances .... weak when the Wise falter.’>
GS-SL-04.5 <CGS
{The}When the Council met in Rivendell, {and} Gandalf had sat apart, silent, but smoking prodigiously (a thing he had never done before on such an occasion), while Saruman spoke against him {, and urged that contrary to Gandalf's advice Dol Guldur should not yet be molested}. Both the silence and the smoke .... while others are in earnest speech.’
But Gandalf laughed, and replied: .......
And the rest proceeds the same. I found the insertion of the CGS narrative into the middle of the council speeches to be somewhat awkward, and I think this solves that problem. I removed the bit of the sentence to avoid redundancy. What do you think?

Findegil 07-03-2018 10:54 PM

Agreed. But I would not remove ‘and urged that contrary to Gandalf's advice Dol Guldur should not yet be molested’. It is a repetition but since we now describe the scene in retrospect, it makes the time and setting very definite, while other wise it would be vague.

Respectfully
Findegil

ArcusCalion 07-04-2018 09:25 AM

Agreed.


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