I have ended up in Pennsylvania for the week with very shoddy internet access. I will catch up on Friday or Saturday (if we still have power). Once again Orogarn is late, and I apolgize.

You are not as late as I. I currently hold the record for the longest unfilled save, but it is unfilled no longer. I fear it has little humor, but does serve to advance the plot in some ways.

Mithadan, I have done as you asked, and Grrrralph is unhooded.

In the interim, I thank everyone for their patience, and hope that it was worth the wait.

I have added a bit onto Thenamir's post to explain the purpose of Grrralph's unhooding. I then noticed that Squatter had edited his post and mine is not entirely consonant with his.

Squatter, if you could please edit the one line to change the timing of the opening of the music box, I'd appreciate it. I needed to get Grrralph's riddle in.

The Great Thighs of Improvas are part of the Ent-That-Was-Broken? Those will be horrifically hard to carry with us on our quest...

It's not the Thighs that matter ... it's what you do with them. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Just a thought. I wonder if Mith's post might be best suited to appearing in the middle of Squatter's post. It occured to me that the final words of Thenamir's post provided a bit of a cliff-hanger and so it might therefore work quite well if events in Improvas were interrupted at that point by the next instalment in Soregum's journey, Kuru's disk swapping announcement and Squatter's Translator's note, before getting back to the explanation of what the hood lowering involves. Mith's post would fit in well, I think, between the two sections of Squatter's post.

As I said, just a thought ...

Excellent posts all, by the way. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Right: I've edited my post to allow for Grrralph's routine and tried to bring it back round to that well-loved Elven ballad of Diamond's. Personally I think that Saucepan's idea about the order of events makes a lot of sense. The translator's note does tend to break up the action (actually that was originally going to be an elaborate save, but I couldn't bring myself to delete it), so perhaps it would be worth migrating that section to some other point. Anyway, that's really up to Mith.

As requested, I have plugged my post into the middle of Squatter's and deleted it from Thenamir's, thus utterly confusing all readers and appropriately disrupting the flow of the text. I anticipate a troop of rabid placard bearing REBfans to protest these revisions for at least three minutes before becoming bored and seeking their true purposes in life (likely something to do with beer).

At any rate, who will take up the tale now and disconnect the King, steal the Thighs (causing the hall to fall upon all), and figure out how we are going to carry two such monstrous hunks of pulp along with us as we depart our beloved Improvas?

I will! I will! Just give me until the end of the afternoon!

Kuruharan, you do surprise me! I would have you the least likely candidate for filling in the next part of the story, being as it involves a collapsing Hall ... [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

A plot point that I intended to make more clear in my last post, but which came out weakly if at all, is the idea that Sauerkraut is no longer in league with Mogul, but is in fact trying to accumulate the pieces of the Entish Bow for himself. Which is why Gateskeeper is assisting in the disconnection.

While Mogul is busy putting up billboards and other low-tech advertising, Sauerkraut is attempting to undermine the old ways of advertising by using the power of The Net. Hence the stage-ad for Dorka-Cola (from Dorktank) as opposed to the Pukel-Cola on the billboards.

Taking the Great Thighs will be quite a disaster for Sauerkraut, as they are the main cell-antir tower for his competing Net-work in Soreham. Expect him to be less than pleased.

I will make some minor adjustments to bring this plot point out in the next day or so.

Grralph did a bump and grind routine on stage? I'm shocked. I'm also having a great deal of difficulty picturing it, but that's probably a good thing. Sometimes I have trouble beliving that this RPG exists on the same forum as the "outrage" threads. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Heh. At any rate, though, it's not nearly as shocking as Kuruharan volunteering to write the filching of the thighs.... [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

I have added a paragraph to the middle of my last post making more clear the plot points I mentioned earlier. Carry on!

There. I've done my half-hearted Monty Python lampoon.

I've also abandoned the plot at a rather awkward moment.

Have fun getting the Quester's out, whoever decides to take up the burden.

Kuruharan, nicely done!

I wood (pun intended) suggest that it is not a good idea to saw directly on the thighs, since they are after all sentient pieces of the Ent-That-Was-Broken. Perhaps a hacksaw to the bolts supports holding them in place...

There! The Itship, plus one, is on its way! Great posts all! Someone call Bird. Her little friends will have some visitors soon (plus Grrruff is technically a creature and therefore within Bird's jurisdiction if she so desires).

Hmm, good point. Will fix.

[Edit] Done.

[ September 23, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]

Sauerkraut weighs in, and his cabbage is boiling now...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that our next stop in this little ramble is the Forest of Canned Corn. After that, should our valiant band survive the encounter with the inhabitants of that wood, we will be paying a visit to Dorktank.

At some point thereafter, we should be enjoying the company of Leninia, though I have no clear idea where she might reside or how we should be encountering her. Nonetheless, we need to acquire a certain guitar. Lush? Any suggestions?

However, the most immediate concern would be getting a wagon so that the poor Nazgul and dragon don't have to carry the Thighs throughout Muddled Mirth. Grrralph's horse, Puff, would be available to draw the wagon, but we may need more beasts of burden. Has anyone seen Gravlox's warg, Shagoff? He's unemployed...

At any rate, this should provide some direction for the next several posts, at least. Anyone who wishes to do so may move us along.

It's just a thought, but the Thighs could make the most mythic set of stilts ever...

Oh, the indignity...

Well, there are a lot of wagons knocking about in Soreham right now, what with all those wagon parks being redeveloped ...

Have we decided en masse to hold off posting until Esty's return? I've done my part...

She is not due to return until October 7. I doubt that she would mind if we continue to advance the tale a bit. However, I've posted a bit too frequently recently and want to give everyone else a chance to contribute. So I'm not going to be posting in the next few days, at least. If everyone else wants to wait, that is fine as well.

Hi, fellow Muddled-Mirthians! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] I'm having one of my rare online opportunities and, after my personal e-mails, this is of course the first place I look! I've enjoyed those posts very much and have no objections to your carrying on with the plot or whatever passes for it. Since when has anyone allowed even my presence to influence the surprise twists and turns? [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] So why is my absence inhibiting?? I'll be back next week, as Mith said, and am looking forward to jumping into the action again. Till then, have fun... [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Saucepan Man, please check your PMs.

I'm back! While I review the past posts (I enjoyed reading them all - thanks to those who posted during my absence!) and figure out what to write, is anyone planning a post soon? Please let me know so that I can plan mine to include any new developments.

The Quest...Thing...Whatevership is now on its way to see the Hornyburg and Glitzy Caverns of Ham Steep. Will they find something relevant to their journey there? Will the indestructible fortress remain undestructed? Will Pimpi get a chance to do truly heroic deeds? Will the Nazgrrl experience True Love's First Kiss? Tune in - no, write posts, and let's get this show back on the road again!

Doubtful.

No.

Who knows?

Chrysophylax may kiss her, but that might not have anything to do with True Love's First Kiss.

There. I think I answered those questions quite well. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

And now, I solemnly swear on ruined fortresses everywhere that the Hornyburg shalt not be destroyed...

...by burning.

Um, right.

I haven't given much thought to Leninia lately, but as I have discussed with Esty back in days of yore, she is a good girl underneath her bratty persona. These are all my thoughts on Leninia at the moment. After you've digested them thoroughly, I'll be back with more.

* burp *

So... I guess that means you want us to refrain from killing her?

Ah, hey, being a good girl doesn't necessarily let you off the hook. I'd say killing was still an option. As long as it was done in good taste.

I think that the chances of anything being done in good taste on this quest are slim to none. Perhaps only moderate bad taste would be a more realistic condition: something like being crushed to death by a giant cartoon foot.

We now have a genuine celebrity in our midst.

Lord Dimli from the famous Mono-gendered-ship of the Thing.

I am sure that you will all treat him with the respect that a person of such eminence deserves, and spend lots of money at his casino. (Of said money, Kuruharan will naturally have his take).

[ October 11, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]

Oh, indeed. I am sure.

Something tells me, though, that the Itshipers aren't going to be the ones getting fleeced.... [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

No, I don't want Leninia to die. Just look at the first five letters of her name. How can you desecrate them? Filthy capitalists.

Seriously, I actually think that her dying would be rather repetitive.

If Earnur can't control himself, we could always get him a punching bag. Or a blow-up doll. Or...something.

There is some background plotting going on for this part of the story. As I am planning a development that possibly involves a guest cameo, I request that you writers check with me before doing anything drastic with the characters and location. Go ahead and do business with the Dwarves (to their or your advantage [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] ), discover the beauties of the caverns, whatever you like - just don't destroy the location or have the Itship leave, please! Thanks. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Old save is filled in now, and a new save is in to allow Sauerkraut's "cable repairmen" to get roughed up by Mogul's minions. Enjoy!

Oh good, you named Môgul's "cat", Thena. I was drawing a blank on that. We likes it, my preciousss. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Colin ... er, I mean Sauerkraut can rest easy (well, as easy as gifts like that allow [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] ) for the time being though. Môgul does not have sufficient armies to take Dorktank ... yet. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

I've filled in my save. Voggy and Pimpi's actions are pretty par for the course.