A Hobbit in every pot
 

Here in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, like much of the United States, we've entered the "silly season" that precedes elections. As our state is blessed :rolleyes: with the task of choosing one of our two senators next Tuesday, we've been inundated with campaign commercials ad nauseam regarding the two candidates. I will, of course, perform my civil duty and vote, but will not discuss my choice (or lack thereof) here. Note that, in our current two party system, I feel a lot like Treebeard, wondering if anyone is truly on my side. Anyway, that being said, I recently learned that at least one of the candidates is a Tolkien fan. He let the world know this as well when he made the comments documented here.

Not sure what to think, and I wonder if the LotR books or movies had more of an influence.

Anyway, just thought that, for fun, we could come up with the 'next' campaign commercial, as surely neither side will let this issue go (and note that stances on all other issues aren't to be discussed here as, well, this is a Tolkien site ;) ). And to make it even easier, we can call our two candidates A and B or something appropriate.

Any ideas?

I like him and say to vote for him.

Note that I'm not asking for help with my voting, as I'm already getting plenty.

More like...

"I'm candidate X and I approve this message.

Candidate Y, seen here, shook hands with Bruce Spence at the Lord of the RIngs parade in our fair city of Philadephia. Who's Bruce Spence you ask? None other than the Mouth of Sauron. Do you really want to elect someone to the Senate that's friends with the Mouth of Sauron?

And we all know who HIS boss is...

Vote for me this Tuesday."

(anyway, not my best work, but maybe that helps. Also note that this was posted in Mirth, and everything is considered to be fantasy...)

I realize that and said it merely in jest.

As one candidate said of the other -- "He's as strange as news from Bree."

Or, "The ideas of my esteemed opponent are like balrogs--if they had wings, they might fly, but as we all know, ... " etc ;)

Or, "Build a better bonfire, and my opponent might jump on it."

Or, "Win one for the Gaffer."

Or, "Don't expect the elves to show up and win this one for us. That only happens in the movies."

There's got to be lines about reforging strength and determination, but I think they'd be too terrible to contemplate. ;)

Sorry, should have known that, but lately I haven't seen enough jest to remember what it looks like.

hehehe...jest sounds like something I should keep in my spice cabinet.

Fresh ground jest, a little goes a long way.

Tee hee. I misread this quote:
[I thought it said "12-year-old Republican senator.."
It was quite an amusing mental picture it conjured up...William Pitt the Younger had nothing on it...

Let's try to shift this back on topic with a good example

I am Ugluk, I command.... you to vote for Candidate X


Or
*Background: An orc raiding party razing a village to the ground*
"What happened to Candidate Y's promise of a safer neighbourhood?"

Thanks everyone for the feedback. I'm still not sure if I whould have placed this thread elsewhere, as I'd like to comment on the Senator's use of Tolkien to describe the world. For instance, if the Iraq War were somehow the Eye of Sauron, exactly who would be Denethor? Wonder if the honorable Senator thought that one out? ;)


Anyway, I also came up with a few more of my own, inspired by the ones above:

• He eats orc flesh, I warrant!

• Ask yourself: What will you do when the wild woods are suddenly at YOUR door?

• Candidate Y actually *laughed* at the Gimli drinking scene...:rolleyes: Is this the kind of person you want in Congress?

• Elect me, and I will commission a blue-ribbon panel (made up of my relatives and other rogues ;) ) to get to the bottom of the Gandalf versus the Witch-King question. No dollar will be left unturned in pursuit of the truth.

• I found a Silmaril, helped Fëanor in his works, defeated Melkor in single combat, counselled Manwë, sent Gandalf, pushed Gollum, ...

Leaving aside the (very) questionable portrayal of Iraq as a "diversion", it seems to me to be a curious comparison to liken the goal of diverting the attention of terrorists away from the US with the goal of saving the entirety of Middle-earth from unremitting and irresolute evil. :rolleyes:

Those of us who regularly use the London Underground, for example, are only too aware that there are many places outside Iraq upon which the minds of terrorists remain fixed.

Anyway, be that as it may ...

Oy! What are you implying about people who laughed at the Gimli drinking scene ...? ;)

My own contributions:

My dear voters. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve ...

(Perhaps Donald Rumsfeld, with his known knowns, known unknowns etc studied the speeches of Bilbo Baggins …)

Do not meddle in the affairs of Candidate X for he is subtle and quick to anger.

Candidate Y looks fair and feels foul, if you get my meaning.

Go not to Candidate Z for counsel, for he will say both no and yes.

It, of course, makes no sense, but then again, it did emanate from the mouth of a politician. :rolleyes: My guess is that it is thought that by having western troops in Iraq that the terrorists will go there more readily and easily than elsewhere. I really can't see that being analogous with the Eye's attention.

And note that I placed the thread here so that we could read the silliness of the comments and avoid a political discussion, as I'm not sure where that road would lead.


coughs...eyes do a complete revolution in head...coughs Oh, nothing, nothing at all. ;)


Now that you mention it, that makes perfect sense!


I'm half-tempted to match the phrases above with specific pols/candidates, but that surely would just lead to trouble. Some of you will probably make the same comparisons.

Quite so. Although it took as much will power as I could muster to restrict myself to those very mild comments ... ;)

Still, you are right. Best leave it there.

I would start with the desire to do good, but over me...
 

You too feel the temptation, much like Frodo felt with the One Ring.

Must...not...discuss...politics...pulls hand back from the keyboard.

If you don't vote for me, I'll give your number to the Nazgul!