D&D players, gather round.
 

A friend recently showed me this. Most of the jokes are D&D (Dungeons & Dragons, in case anyone doesn't know) related, so people who don't play probably won't get it.

Hilarious!

~*~ Pio, an old D&D'er

Heh! Yea, this reminds me of something :D

*Legate, even Older D&Der*

Edit: No, Great Wyrm D&Der (ha HA HA internal joke)

I found it funny too, though I've never played D&D. However I play other RPGs of that kind (Middle-Earth Roleplaying or Gamemaster, anyone?) and that might explain my amusement.

I've been wondering about this for a while: what do you call RPGs of the likes of D&D in English? Board RPGs? Table RPGs? :confused:

Ah, the memories ...
 

Scenario LR2: The Mines of Moria (Levels 6 to 8)

…

Dungeon Master (DM): OK, the Orcs are all dead.

All Players: We bind our wounds.

Boromir: I’m searching the Orcs’ bodies.

DM: *rolls dice* You don’t find anything of value.

Legolas: I’m searching for secret doors.

DM: *rolls dice* You find one in the centre of the north wall.

Aragorn: *marks up map* I scrape the door with my sword, just in case there are any Ear Seekers, and listen at it.

DM: *rolls dice* You don’t hear anything.

Aragorn: Boromir, you open it.

Boromir: Hang on a minute, why me?

Aragorn: *rolls eyes* OK then, I’ll open it.

DM: It’s locked.

Merry: I’ll use my Thieves Tools to pick the lock.

DM: *rolls dice* You pick the lock.

Aragorn: OK, I’ll open it.

DM: *rolls dice* You see a long dark passage stretching out ahead of you.

Aragorn: *marks up map*

Gimli: I’ll try to detect traps.

DM: It’s too dark.

Gimli: I have 30 foot infravision.

DM: *rolls dice* You can’t see any traps in the first 30 feet. The passage continues beyond that.

Gandalf: I’ll cast a Light spell on the end of my Staff.

DM: You only just cast it. You need to sleep before you can cast it again.

Aragorn: OK, we, we’ll all rest while Gandalf sleeps.

Boromir: *rolls eyes*

DM: *rolls dice* First hour – no wandering monsters. *rolls dice* Second hour – no wandering monsters. *rolls dice* Third hour – ah, you hear guttural voices and metallic sounds coming from behind the door to the south.

Aragorn: I draw my sword and stand ready.

Boromir: I draw my sword and ready my shield.

Gimli: I ready my Axe and jump onto the tomb.

DM: *rolls eyes*

Legolas: I’m knocking an arrow in my bow.

Frodo: I draw Sting.

DM: It’s glowing blue.

Legolas: Orcs!

All except Legolas: *roll eyes*

Sam: I draw my frying-pan and stand ready.

Merry: I’ll try to hide in the shadows.

DM: *rolls dice* You succeed.

Pippin: Me too.

DM: *rolls dice* You fail.

All except Pippin: *roll eyes*

DM: OK, before you can do anything else, the door opens and a band of 15 Orcs bursts into the hall.

*Some time later*

DM: OK, the Orcs are all dead.

All: We bind our wounds.

Boromir: I’m searching the Orcs’ bodies.

DM: *rolls dice* You don’t find anything of value.

Etc etc

Hahaha!

I spent way too much time today reading all of these comics and laughing out loud over them! I've not played D&D, but it's not hard to catch the general idea, and the film references are hilarious. Thanks so much for this wonderful link, HKF!

Even though I haven't played D&D either, I still read through all of the comics and found them very amusing!!! Perhaps it is because I have tried my hand... er my mouse, at "Online RPG's" With very little success. It's Just like that comic but worse :S

Very funny (and an uncannily like certain games I've played in).

I did actually run a Middle-earth adventure using D&D rules once.

Actually I am currently running a ME adventure using D&D rules... from Christmas we had a little break, but it seems we're gonna resume the game on February 9th... But me & my players are trying to focus more on the roleplaying than to play in the typical line: *I go down the corridor - I attack the orc - I roll attack - I cast seven fireballs - I search the orc's body and take the Undead Bane Masterwork Mithral Vorpal Frost Great Sword Of The Archmagi +5*. I think it would be violating the Middle-Earth, and I couldn't look into the Professor's eyes with clear conscience. We are trying to keep the adventuring "realistic". My party is about 4th level and so far they have 9 adventures behind them, including their meeting in Greenhill county and hunt for an animal who stole a package which one of them was supposed to deliver to Old Took's birthday celebration, an adventure including problems with one Big Folk outlaw who happened to take shelter in the Shire's forests and caused small problems, journey to Buckland during the Fell Winter 1311 - ending with an epic wolf hunt, a forced journey through the Old Forest after being stranded on its southern end during an uncomfortable boat trip during 1312 spring floods, search for job and journey to Michel Delving and back again, and now they are outside the Shire on a typical treasure hunt because between Michel Delving mathoms they found a diary of one Took who happened to leave some "treasure" behind during his little trip to the Weather Hills. I have a website dedicated to the game, with the story summaries and many other things, but it is in Czech, so I don't think you'll enjoy it much.

That's it! We should start one... we clearly have enough people to do it.
(Characters, Barrow Wights 1 through X... don't want to put names in not to offend anyone :p)

DM: You walk up a narrow path that makes it way towards Weathertop
BW1: if we get attacked by Nazghul, are we getting out of it book or movie style? I mean, I'm Aragorn here and I wanna set those monsters to flame
BW2: Are you kidding me? I get to be Frodo... I like his heroic (even if misguided) attempt at defending himself in the books!
BW3: By the way guys, have you ever wondered how it is possible that Merry's sword, which comes from the Barrow Downs, is able to hurt the WK in the battle of Pelennor and yet when Frodo attacks him on Weathertop Aragorn says that his sword couldn't hurt the WK? I mean, both swords come from the same place...

*After three hours worth of discussion, quote-quoting and a few notes saying "I OWE YOU... rep points on the 'downs for your last comment"*

DM: Alright... so we all agree that Aragorn was wrong, We have no clue what Bombadil is, but he is not an overgrown hobbit or an undersized balrog and Arwen should NOT be saving Frodo in this game... can we move on?
BW1: Now that you mention it... do Balrogs have wings? :rolleyes:

Ok, on second thought then maybe we'd be worse off than those D&D folks=P

Yeah, I actually have the main Middle-Earth Roleplaying book, but I don't like the system, I could never find anyone other than Oro interested in playing, and the whole thing is rather non-canon. Also I think Iron Crown Enterprises lost their liscense.

I agree about it being non-canon. The descriptions in it have quite messed up my mental images of the peoples of Middle-Earth and I still haven't - after all these years - gotten rid of them. *shrugs*

The system's also quite illogical. I like Rolemaster much better. :)

Very nice page indeed!
:) I can even understand some of it, Russian seems to be really similar to Czech.

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it :D Guess the language should be similar ;)

I wonder if I could translate something to English so that if any of you Downers were interested could read it... you know, I thought that I'll maybe need some advices on something, or some constructive criticism... well, but translate... *shudders*

High King , this is hysterical! Many thanks for the laughs -- I didn't play D&D that often, but it all seems so familiar.

I found another D&D comic, and am gradually working my way through over 400 past strips! Very funny!
Here's the link: The Order of the Stick
Enjoy!

Estelyn Telcontar: Time Vampire
 

You are the nemesis of my daily goals.

I'm now in the unique position of being distracted from a distraction from a distraction from work (i.e. posting this about reading the back issues of that comic, when I was going to think of a new post for your RPG, when I ought to be doing my job).

Add one more level of distraction and it'll take me a D10 stress roll of 50 to achieve basic first-level procrastination.

And I didn't just say that either.

I'm glad you've discovered OOTS, Estelyn. I've been following it for a while. I also recommend Goblins for a somewhat more serious perspective on D&D.

Speaking of D&D, I was at a Border's last night and I flipped through this hardcover D&D book about the 9 Hells, devils, and all of that creepy stuff. It shows the leaders of each of the 9 Hells like Asmodeus and Mephistopholes. They were all scary and I had a nightmare last night.

I thought you all would like to know... :p


By the way, what good is Satan to D&D anyway? That creep belongs in Revelation.

I believe you're refering to Fiendish Codex II, Ninja.

The point, I think, is to have some parallels to Satan to serve as an ultimate evil the players can defeat. Though I do share some of your reservations on the use of biblically-inspired material.

SPM your post sums up a lot of my teenage years (minus the clinking of bottles and the sound of flicking lighters :) ) !! well done.

It was so basic when we were playing. A few figurines, some dominoes for the floor plan, the books, and some dice. Nothing but imagination for the graphical user interface.

I saw this this morning regarding Dave Arneson.

THAT was D&D back in the day (for me 1983-84). The clinking of bottles and flicking of lighters were a big part of it. The second edition left a lot open for the gamemaster to interpret. I have no clue what they did with it afterward. I did take notice the Green Ronin release of a Black Company D&D module.
Sad was the news of the passing of another one of the founders.:(

Funny, but after my divorce, a bunch of my stuff found its way to my dad's attic, and in my attempts to clear out my stuff recently, I found the old D&D game, figurines and all. The game ended uncerimoniously when people just quit making it to our weekend game night. Looking at the maps and such, our party is still camped out in a grove of pines, waiting (24 years) for the next day (which will likely never come) to journey into the forest. It was a good game with much time and effort invested every weekend for a year, and some weeknight shorts to boot. Funny how it goes.

Hey Snowdog, thanks for the warm memories. Hopefully you took some pictures and sent them along to your fellow campaigners with the question, "Whose turn is it?"

He failed his saving throw. :(

At the risk of being squirreled, I must say that that is so cold...though terribly funny. :eek: :D

That link on the first post here almost inspires me to write some Cliff notes for LotR. Now wouldn't that be a fun thread. Maybe I can interest Morthoron in the idea . . . ;)

Well, I could have said Dave Arneson was now rolling in his grave, but I thought the saving throw was a sweeter and more fitting tribute to a brilliant creator. I guess it just depends on your interpretation. :Merisu:

No, but that IS a good idea! I just re-connected with one of the guys via facebook too.


And yes, lets do the clif-notes... ;)