Do Balrogs have swings?
 

I mean wouldn't a swing just burn to a crisp if they sat on one?

Do Balrogs have Kings?
 

Surely a king would have to deal with many different things to deal with. Emigration, water supplies, global warming and maintenance of a steady flame.

I think that is the direction this thread is heading in... Do Balrogs have... -ings? :p

Do Balrogs have Rings?
 

Does the Balrog Ring give them the ability to grow wings at the drop of a wizards hat.

Swings if heatproof. Actually, how do they walk on the ground without sinking into it? And they have a King, practically, called Melkor. Perhaps wedding rings, if they enter monogamous relationships, but this raises the question: Do Balrogs have flings?

do balrogs have stings?
 

They are said to have whips, so I would think it might be a particularly kinky kind of flings.

Ah, but do Balrogs have things?








Yours, Lalwende, digging deep and murky holes since 1970.

Do Balrogs have springs?
 

A spring could be a substitute for a wing - perhaps the reason Wings were never explicitly discribed was that it was assumed everyone knew they had metallic coils on the bottoms of their feet. It would explain any Balrogs seen in the air.

Plus, they could be hunted and harvested for a fine bumper crop of mattresses.

Do Balrogs have... Beornings?
 

They are so powerful, they surely have servants... why not Beornings?

It would put a whole new twist on the risks of smoking in bed. ;)

Do Balrogs have stings?
 

Just in case those fiery whips prove too easy to drop. Perhaps a sting would come in useful for seeing off pesky Elves and Wizards who insist on trying to drop them from high places.

Burning swings, on the other hand, if sufficiently robust, can give up to fifteen minutes of rock concert / municipal playground fusion before disintegrating.

hellbound
 

Do Balrogs have dreams?
Yes. And I have seen them! Frodo I have seen them!

If you want to further analyze it...
 

My question is:

Do Balrogs have bling? Because if they do have flings, that could be one of the explanations why..

After all, everyone knows bling bling can be quite irresistable... ;)

Brinniel - Possibly, but I do not think so. Still, my latest research indicates that the well dressed Balrog never leaves home until he has adorned himself with several 14-karat nose rings....

Hmm...ok then..
 

Well, I felt the need to make a visual representation of our Balrog, and so far I have this:

(Oh..and please excuse my poor photoshopping skills...I'm still fairly new to it :rolleyes: )

When a Balrog Sings
 

The ears of Morgoth will melt. Do Balrogs have sings*? I would think not, if they did, Melkor would have destroyed them at a very early stage.


*An example of a Serious Cat sentence?

Do Balrogs have mings?
 

I mean if they have flings that must mean not all balrogs live up to the aesthetic standard expected of their angelic order.

Or other balrogs find them less hot (baboom ch!)

Do Balrogs have strings?
 

Are they merely puppets of the current dark lord, or are they capable of independent actions?

And who currently has the skill to weave such strings of control?

Ok, they most definitely have some sore of SPRINGS
If they have no wings, how should they survive a fall all the way to the bottom of Moria's pits?
Plus, it's a great way to have fun in Angband by jumping around

but when they reached the bottom of the pit wouldn't it just spring back to the top?

I guess for all Internet-users, and most for ME online players, the most important...
 

Do Balrogs have PINGs?

I know nothing about PINGs Legate, not a thing (I'm not talking about a Lalwendëan thing here :D )

Dpeends how good the springs are hewhoarisesinmight...

And a very important question if you ever are playing poker against a balrog:

Do Balrogs have Kings?

I always wondered, however, whether Morgoth appreciated the work of Balrogs enough and if they got some bonuses for killing Fingon or Húrin or Glorfindel or something like that.
Do balrogs have earnings?

...which brings me to, more important...

Do balrogs have earrings?
That would need a little correction of Brinniel's (otherwise wonderful) picture, though we'd first have to prove whether balrogs even have ears first. Interesting, seriously: while debating of wings took entire threads, no one so far has asked the simple question whether balrogs even have ears.

And finally

Do balrogs have yearnings? Not just like, getting a job in a toast factory, but, maybe they all dream of engagement with Arien? After all, she's hot, which would be a priority for a balrog.

What about Inklings?
Do you thingk balrogs might have kidnapped some of the Inklings and are holding them prisoners...could be. :eek:

Maybe they even tortured Tolkien not to tell their secrets - whether they have or have not the Wings, rings, and all the other... um... things.

Another idea:

Do balrogs have slings?

Oh, now I see it. Revelation! Do you know what was the name of the balrog in Moria? We know about Gothmog, but this one remained nameless for too long. Now it is clear. His name was David! (and this also answers the question, whether balrogs have Kings... not the card ones)

P.S. This also maybe provides some light to the topic of Giants in Middle-Earth and explains why Gandalf was speaking about looking for a decent Giant to shut the Goblin cave. For this is a line dropped by J.R.R.T. from the original draft of the Two Towers: "Many are my names in many countries: Mithrandir among the Elves, Tharkûn to the Dwarves, Goliath to the Giants."

We know they are big and mean
 

but do Balrogs have bling?

I think it's the dragons who are famous for their great hoards of bling...

The really important question actually is...
Do Balrogs enjoy spring?
I mean, do they like running around through fields of flowers and stuff like that...:Merisu:

Hey! Why didn't anyone so far ask THIS?
 

Do balrogs have drinks?

In which case to be more specific.. Do Balrogs have Pimm's?

Do balrogs have rhyming dictionaries?

Maybe this? half the words on this don't seem to exist...

Ho-ho-ho
 

Which brings us to ask... Do Balrogs like rhyming things? :p

Do Balrogs have Bulldogs? Or Bullfrogs? Do they buy them from catalogues? Did Gothmog have a weblog?

Would the bulldogs be hot dogs?

Like A Balrog On A String?

Was Sandie Shaw really singing about the firey onesin these lyrics?

"Love is just like a merry-go-round
With all the fun in the air
One day I'm feeling down on the ground
Then I'm up in the air"

That could be a reference to being wingless one minute and winged the next. Maybe whether a Balrog having wings depends on whether he (or she) is in love or not?

***

Do Balrogs have Schwings? Depends if there are any 'babes' about I guess.

Do Balrogs enjoy Middle-earth Gaming
 

Yes Eomer, I had a fling with a Lady Balrog and she was hot.

You should word it more gently; we aren't sure, but balrogs may have feelings.

Do they have important meetings?
Love Tolkien's teachings?
Do they ever receive greetings?

I doubt it...poor balrogs

The poor Balrogs indeed. Wandering through middle earth without rest; does anyone know if Balrogs have dwellings, or even lodgings?

And a more important question, perhaps, to the dwarves who had to clean Moria after the war; do Balrogs have droppings?