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Funny Middle Earth Books
During yet another stultifying day at work, my friens and I came up with another odd category: Shortest, or least popular, books in the realm of Arda:
For Example: Denethor's guide to parenting. Gollum's grammar guide. Any suggestions? |
Decluttering your Hobbit Hole
Family Camping in the Old Forest Are YOU Entitled to Immortality? A Legal Guide for Half-Elves Rosie Cotton's Birth Control Encyclopedia 101 Ways to Eat a Silmaril Melkor's Introduction to Music Theory |
Fun thread idea, Tar-Elara!
How about: Bilbo and Frodo's Marriage Manual Arwen's Sewing Primer Ioreth's "Sound of Silence" Lobelia Sackville-Baggins: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" Saruman's Construction Manual for Spiky Wheels |
The Dwarven Book of Dating.
The Hobbit Book of Dieting. The Balrog Book of Flight. Identity Crisis by Gothmog of Minas Morgul. Die Young Stay Pretty by Queen Arwen. Memoirs of an Invisible Man by Isildur. Fly Fishing by Deagol. |
Tree Husbandry by The Ent-wives.
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- The Big Book of Entish abbreviations
- Dealing with depression by Turin Turambar - Morgoth's book of Practical Jokes |
- Dude, where's my Ring? By Sauroman
- Gollum's Guide to Eating Healthy - 101 Things To Do With Taters. By Sam - The Only Way To Eat a Brace Of Coneys. By Sam |
*cough* Who is this "Sauroman"?
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Yea! These book suggestions are v. amusing. I have thought of some more as well...
-The Art of Honesty by Sauron -The Orc Poetry Collection |
I know I misspealled Saruman. Kwit korecting mi speling.
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Swimming for Beginners by Drogo Baggins.
Gollums Big Book of Sushi by Smeagol. |
Eowyn's Book of Household Management
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How to be a Firefighter by Denethor.
How to bleach your clothes White by Gandalf the Once-Grey. |
Health and Safety Practises for Swordsmen by Turin.
Long Jump Techniques by Saeros of Doriath. Naturism by Bjorn the Bare.........(sorry). Guitar Playing by Maedhros. How to spot a Fraudster by Celebrimbor. How to make a Fool of People by Annatar. Patience by Aule. Hobbit Stew and Dumplings by Grishnakh. |
How to read books by Pereguin Took
Fashion tips for Pentioners by Saruman of Many Colours Baths and how to avoid them by Aragorn |
I'm Nobody's Child by Tom Bombadil.
What War? by Radagast the Brown. Cracking Good Food by Old Man Willow. |
The Whitewater Rafting Guide by Boromir
You're Never Alone With a Schizophrenic by Smeagol Orcs with Forks: A Modern Guide to Table Etiquette by Gorbag, Shagrat, et al. English Pronunciation and Grammar by Hamfast Gamgee Treatment of Conjuctivitis, Blepharitis and Red Eye Symptoms by Sauron |
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Azog
Basic Spelunking by Smaug How YOU can Overcome OCD by Fëanor A Beginner's Guide to Field Hygiene by Gollum Finding Harmony in Your Consanguineous Marriage by Ar-Pharazôn |
How about:
How to Get Over Stolen Property by Feanor |
A Hobbits' Guide to Safe Boating
By Bungo and Belladonna Baggins Zen and the Art of Meara Maintenance By Eorl A Stone Troll's Guide to Fine Dining By William Huggins, Esq. |
Quote:
Drogo and Primula, on the other hand... :smokin: |
The Dangerous Book for Girls by The Witch-king of Angmar.
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Quote:
The Dangerous Book For Hobbits By Ted Sandyman. |
"Abandonned wifes of Arda,unite!'' dy Erendis
''The complete guide for wood-camping'' BY Gildor Inglorion ''Perfect nails and other beauty tips " by Saruman the White "Maskarah?Not for me!'' by the Great Eye ''The high art of diplomacy'' by the mouth of Sauron "Bungee jumping for starters'' by Nienor/Niniel |
How To Avoid Getting Killed By Your Friends by Beleg Strongbow
How to Be A Good Friend by Beleg Strongbow How To Keep Healthy, Happy Hair by Smeagol |
The Cure for Memory Loss by Barliman Butterbur.
How to Suck-up to The Boss by Ted Sandyman. My Life in Wrestling Spandex by Tulkas the Strong. How to pick the right Girdle by Melian. |
Luthien's Guide to Teenage Rebellion
The Bible (Manwe Version) |
Fighting the Napoleonic War by Boromir (if you get the reference, you deserve a prize)
Keeping Brightly coloured clothing clean in a hostile, woodland area. by Tom Bombadil |
Are you sure it is ''Neopolionic''?
"Aragorn's travel guide-complete series" Book 1:RIVENDEL AND HOLlIN >> 2:WOODEN REALM,LAKETOWN,DALE >> 3:LORIEN >> 4:RHUN >> 5:ADUIN >> 6,7:GONDOR,ROHAN >> 8:HARAND(INCLUDING BOTH NEAR AND FAR) >> 9:MORDOR >>10,11;ERIANDOR >> 12:UNIVERSE |
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How about, How to Get Yourself Out Of The Barrow-Downs Without the Help of Tom Bombadil by Tom Bombadil and Frodo Baggins |
Bear With Me, It's a Long Story by Beorn.
Swimming Lessons in Armour by Isildur. |
Are Women Human? by the Witch-King of Angmar
Outwitting Fish by Gollum How Goood is Good Enough by Faramir How to Stay Fit and Healthy Indefinitely by Gandalf the Gray How to Make people Like you in 90 Seconds or Less by Saruman the White How to Steal a Dog by Luthien Tinuviel (Titles taken directly from Amazon);) |
Everything I Need To Know About The One
Ring I Learned In Kindergarten , by Denethor |
Get rich quick with me in Moria by Balin
Bombur's Diet Tips Sexy tips to spice up your love life by Grishnakh |
The Value of Antique Silverware by Otho and Lobelia Sackville Baggins.
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So near and yet so Far by Arathorn II.
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Teaching Your Child To Social Climb by Huor.
How to Avoid Troublesome Cousins by Tuor. |
What Did You Do That For? by Beleg Cuthalion.
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The Theory and Practice of Carding and Spinning by Shelob
Rainy Day Woman by Tom Bombadil Ilúvatar's Perfect Storm by Eru Second Time Lucky by Eowyn Star Trek as Gene Roddenberry Never Imagined It by Eärendil |
Complete Horse Riding Manual by Gimli son of Gloin
Avoiding Temptations by Peregrin "the Fool of a" Took |
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