Merendis's list of misused homophones
 

Apart from the normal most annoying misused homophones (bye/by, their/there
, you're/your) that are found daily on the chat, there are several misused homophones that change the meaning of a sentence and often make it humorous. Here is a list of some of my favorites

1.Manwe would rain over arda
2.Burn someone at a steak
3.That was when my hair was died
4.I'm an Honor Role Student
5. no legolas was aloud to come
6.Yes, Im the forth one.(in response
to "are you a powderpuff girl?")
7.It makes no since what so ever
8. Hippo Birdie Two Ewes, Hippo Birdie Two Ewes, Hippo Birdie Deer Kate, Hippo Birdie
9. You can't sow us a banner, can you?
10. I hate egg roles

A special thanks to the one who started it all and contributed two to the list, you're a stud.....or should i say, your a stud?

[ May 19, 2002: Message edited by: Merendis ]

[ May 22, 2002: Message edited by: Merendis ]

I aim to please Merendis. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

You awl no your glad that you don't type like me, but bear with me, because sometimes I am write!

*guffaws*

Here is some rather dubious praise of one of our revered site ops:

"Sharkey never seizes to amaze me."

<Makaila> ILL BE AT HMOME IN A PHEW SECS!

[ June 10, 2002: Message edited by: burrahobbit ]

* Alkaldaiel knocks on merrys door "is your house for sail?"

This is great;

Where's the light?

Where's the lite?


That gotta be my favorite right there.


Tis one's pretty good;

I have might!

I have mites!

I love this one:
A person describes her/himself as "bareable"!! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

<font color="#ff00ff" face="arial">You inspired me:

Don't walk around with bare feet, you could hurt yourself.

Don't walk around with bear feet, you might step on the cat.

[ June 11, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[ June 11, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

I want to download the whole oh brother where art though soundtrack

"us level 1 subordinates cannot undue "

&lt;Maltataliel&gt; dont cri Arinya, hi!

. . . . .

Sorry... I just know a lot of people who misspell things often, so I... Agh, I don't know how to say it without sounding preachy... I know misspellings are annoying (because they are, after a time..), but isn't the conversation value more important than the spelling?

(Is bombarded with responses verifying that these people typically say things along the lines of, "LeGoLaS, u R so HOT!!!!")

All right, all right, point taken... @___@

Talking Hawk, the point is, it's funny! Lets see if I can think of any.

Luke at that! That is won grate bearow-downs tee shirt.

Here are two homophones that showed up on forum posts:

I'm too sexy for my close.

Suddenly M____ uddered a strange word.

[img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

&lt;Aragorn_Isildur&gt; Ala|OSH, your a real star...

some more...

knew you wood
Whoa is me
someone should right a story...

&lt;{Legolas}&gt; I do ride bear back

Frodo: I will take the ring to Mordor! Though... I do not know the weigh.

Beren: For little price do Elven-kings sell their daughters; for gyms, and things made by craft.

&lt;Pippin&gt; i'm gona be bissy, if any one cares

Reminds me of the Molesworth books by Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle:

Not that there are any misused homophones in there, but they're funny nonetheless.

Come to think of it, when I was sixteen and studying for my 'A' levels, my English Literature teacher had to explain to the entire class the difference between "it's" and "its". Most of the essays that she'd just marked had mixed up the two, which was hardly surprising, since no-one had seen fit to tell us about it before. Another triumph for the Ministry of Edukashun.

Those were in a BOOK??! [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

Down With Skool, by Geoffrey Willans; illustrations by Ronald Searle. The mis-spellings are intentional, as the dreadful saga of St. Custard's, which includes the dark epic The Revolt of the Prunes, is related by the prep-school anti-hero, Nigel Molesworth. The author was a former schoolmaster.

Another classic, this time from Back in the Jug Agane, is:
[ August 08, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

woe peeple axuly rite leyek that. thates's' weerd.

yeah, thast's rily weerd.

Okay, this isn't a homophone, but it's close enough:

Me- "She wetted the rag..." Wetted is not a word, right?

Sorry if I've missed the point (it occurs that you may already have realised the following), but yes, 'wetted' is a word. So's 'whetted', for that matter.

It's done for comic effect. Since I laughed like a drain throughout the books it must have worked.

*chubby runs to kates secret layer

&lt;Legolas_me&gt; Because i have to deliver the wring

I knew about 'whetted,' but I always thought the past tense of 'wet' was just 'wet.' Like, "so-and-so wet the bed..." sorry to use that example, but it's all I could think of.

It's a rare usage. Look here for more details.

I get really annoyed when people say alot instead of a lot.

No lie, at about 4am the other morning -

"I luked for the Star Wars pic, but couldn't find it"

"ill be your best friend if you do"

Now there's an offer no-one could refuse.

Stephanos, that's hilarious! BTW, and don't strangle me, why is your screenname now Rimbaud?

*Sigh* The blessfully ingerant beeings who type these things...

<Pippin> DO THE PEANUT BETTER JELLY WITH A BACE BALL BAT

<Anoronwen> Prouncing ponny?

Lhunithil kisses Legless 'Rest in piece and blah-blah-blah'

<Lhunithil> i can listen hole day to Metallica

*points out she mentioned in the chat about putting that rest in piece here...*

Anyhow- can't remember who said this one:

'Why is the White Bot never on?'

&lt;burrahobbit&gt; im glad their not here

Here are a couple of gems from the forum:

I'm rather knew to this.

A Hobbit lasses tail.

This is probably more of a spelling error..but hey [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

*Lomelindi huggles her book she barrowed (borrowed) from her neighbor

Hehe a real B-Der [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Haha! Esty, I saw the tail one... hee!

I wish I could think of some that I've seen around lately...

oh, okay, here's one from my friend:

"I love u Chad (Chad= another friend... inside joke) and ill see u at the fare."

&lt;Mith&gt; there's a fowl voice in the air

How much would could a would chuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck would