Beating the non- LotR fans
 

I'm sure lots of people have problems with non Lord of the Rings fanatic friends. I have many who think they do me good by hiding the books, etc. Sometimes I could happily strangle them. What do you think is a fitting punishment for people dragging you away from LotR? And what would yuo say to them?

[ September 28, 2003: Message edited by: Lucinda ]

mmm...beating the non-LotR fans, good fun. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] for people who either refuse to read the books or don't like them, simply tie them to a chair and read the books to them out loud - prefferable with a buch of fanativ friends so each of you can be a different character and you can act it out. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

admittedly it's not very harsh, but I thought the punishment fit the crime. there's a song from the Mikado about that isn't there...

Oh, is that the one about the 'short sharp shock' or something??

Hmm...I was thinking to transport them to Mordor or something...

Herm, that would be good fun.

Personally, I don't have any problems with my friends who don't like LOTR. I just yell, "Begone foul Dwimmerlaik" or something whenever they start ragging on Tolkien or Peter Jackson.

But, I think it would be great fun tie movie fans who haven't read the books and aren't going to read the books to chairs and make them watch the old animated version while making of thier favorite characters

Ahh, the scream of a Mary Sue is the sweetest scream of all. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

I'm generally nice to those who don't like LotR, as I pity them greatly. When my friends say that they're too stupid to understand it, I volunteer to read it to them, and explain anything they don't get. (In great detail, of course) And those who refuse this offer, I try to convert by talking about LotR constantly, hoping that I'll say something that interests them.

I sometimes have very amusing moments with my non-LotR fan friends when they try to be 'interested in' M-E and they ask silly questions like:" What was the name of the island where numenoreans came from?"...yep, struggle with that. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Maybe a quote from LotR with a contemptuous look will do it.

I usually try to tolerate them but my friends are ok with my obsession, although I tend to bump heads a lot with one because she's a Harry Potter Fanatic :P At least I have my dad to share some of my enthusiasm.

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Great idea! I usually do something of that sort, too. LotR related insults are fun, too. ...Orc-breath, Goblin-brains, ..."Go kiss an orc" and "Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth" are fun to say, too. The classy way to insult people [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

My sister is pretty much the only person who insults me for being LotR-obsessive. But then again, what are sisters for? [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] My friends also get annoyed if I talk about it too much, so I like to speak to them in Elvish just to bug them. [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] The Elvish Insults thread is great fun...

Hmmm...non-LotR friends. I have them by the dozens...my sister(Lhunardawen) seems to be the only LotR-fanatic I know. But what do I do to them? I pity them...
(History of Middle-Earth Fanatics 1, p.30)

But in any case, I just shout "You FoolofaTook!" at them (see Tolkien Vocabulary II) It works at bewildering them. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ September 29, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

A quote from Frodo sums it all up: I get just hooted at for wearing my One Ring on my backpack. I've learned that the trick is to know what your going to say long before you encounter such Crebain from Dunland. Most of the time I just wind up making faces, because I can't think of anything to say.
'What would you know about it, troll-spawn?' has worked well for me. Any random quote, related or un-related also shuts them up, at least long enough to remember that when you fight for one of us, you fight for all of us! Forth Rohirrium!

The biggest problem is when my friend says that Ents are trees! I glare at her and do one of two things:
1. Give her the full history of the Ents
2. Get my LotR friends and all together cover our ears and say the Gollum line "No..No..Not listening!"

I am the only one of my LotR friends that have read all the books. I am trying VERY hard to make them read at least ROTK before the movie comes out, but they say that would 'ruin the movie'. I mean, COME ON!!!! The movies are SOOOO much better after you read the books. But I really wouldn't call them much of book fans as they are total and absolute movie fans. Oh well!

All you have to do is go on and on about all your knowledge of middle earth. Give them facts and show them how much you know… it will drive them crazy. But then again maybe don’t you might end up driving them away. Then maybe bring a friend of yours that knows a lot about middle earth and make sure one of your other none fanatic friends are there and quiz her or something it would be fun to make them embarrassed at how little they know…

~Nilly

One time when I was on holiday with a friend she irritated me by saying 'the Lord of the Rings is so booooring!' So I irritated her back by talking about it non stop for about an hour. I told her such interesting stuff, like the ages of all the characters, and all about Balrog's wing (or lack of)but she stormed out and sat on the doorstep. Wonder why? It's her own fault, she thought that Shadowfax was actually black, and the Gimli died in TTT.
My mother doesn't like LotR either, and my brother and I were talking about hobbit feet and prosthetics, and then her and my other (more ignorant) brother start going on about hobbits wearing shoes, and me and my brother both whine in unison 'but hobbits don't wear shoes!'
But I'm the only true LotR obsessive out of all my family and friends. My brother's seen the films but is too lazy to read the books, and all my friends just like doing Smeagol impressions every now and again.
But if I'm in doubt I mutter 'lasto lalaith nin' (sorry, can't spell) and wander off sniggering.

[ October 02, 2003: Message edited by: Daisy Brambleburr ]

And if all else fails, simply grab the nearest hardcover copy of LotR, or the Silmarillion, and smack them over the head, HARD.

Teachers are fun to play with. Once, after finishing a SOS test, I spent the remaining half a page writing in Elvish (Quenya, to be exact) and then handed it in (It was mostly stuff from the 'Insults' topic, Auta miqula Orch, and the like). One week later I got said test back and my teacher asked what language it was in, and what did it say. I didn't answer the second one, of course. but the answer to the first was, obviously, Quenya.

My utterly clueless teacher then proceded to ask whether I was part Quenyan. *Snort* I fell off the chair.

You should have said you were. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Hey, your friends here at the 'downs outnumber all your non-LotR fan friends, unless you are extremely popular!

Hmmm, I discovered a new way of making the ignorants cringe.

You see, Recently I bought a wooden sword and have gotten into the habit of taking it to school with me.

Nothing makes the non-fans jump like when I run down the hall with my Movie-crazed friend, Kate, and my Wiccan friend, Ant, holding my sword and screaming at the top of my lungs "NIN O CHITHAEGLIR LASTO BETH DAER; RIMMO NIN BRUINEN DAn IN ULAER!!!!!"

Also, a good way of scaring the fangirls is to start going "OMG!!!! Gandalf is soooooo hott!!!" while they're raving about their marriage to OB [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] They run like Morgoth, Himself, is behind them [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

I've found a way to bewilder non-LotR fantic parents.(DISCLAIMER: Works only if you have a sibling obsessed enough to study an Elven tongue.)

You talk in non-stop Elvish. Quenya, Sindarin(my sister and I both prefer Quenya), whatever...just don't talk in a language they'll understand. But then when they bring up the subject of allowance...well, I've never figured out a way to counter such argument...

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Great ideas! I myself have (sort of) been doing a few since the non-LotR fans started annoying me...I fence, and find their opinion of LotR is greatly raised when I start absentmindedly practising moves (with the blade [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]) while they're standing next to me.
Unfortunately I don't know any elven(other than things like 'mellon')but I've found Ancient Greek sort of works. Little do they know that I'm probably coming out with something like 'the army is knocked into the river under the door.' [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

I know just the guy. He is a great movie fan and loves the Star Wars movies. After watching LoTR he gave the comment that he has never before seen such crap, and that of course Star Wars was superior. I pointed out that Lucas has obviously taken Tolkien's Books as basis for his trilogy. Outraged he challenged me to a duell.
He came with his plastic light saber whereas I brought my Glamdring replica. Guess who's butchered his opponent. ;-)
Before anyone no calls for the police, I have just beaten him up no actually killed him.

Personaly i think that all non-lotr fans dont exist....well..i dont know any..or theyve all mysteryously dissapeared

Oooooh..lucky you...No, really...what did you do to them? [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Oh, great fun! i just love this topic...

Ok, this is what i would do. i would tie them all to chairs and force them to hear me read the most boring chapter out of all three books ( and i think we all know which one that is), in a Chubaka voice.

if you need any more ideas just give a call... [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

THE TALAMASCA
Investigators of the Paranormal
We watch
And we are always here.
London Amsterdam Rome
- Anne Rice, Queen of the Damned

I dunno...they just kinda...dissapeared.
*licks chops and howls*

The hardest thing I have to deal with is when I'm reading HOME at school. Today for example I was reading Lost Tales part two and a friend (she's read Lotr at least) ask what I'm reading. I find it very difficult to explain. If I say something like "The earliest writings of Tolkien" she goes "about what" and I have to explain the whole history of Middle-earth.

If someone askes a really stupid question I really try to be nice. We should all be nice to non-lotr fans! Maybe we'll convert them! And maybe they hate us because we sit around and discuss what horrible things to do to them??

Forget it! Let's just round them all up and make them listen to all 12 HOME books ! I'm sick of all the stupid questions!

Ahh, now that is just mean. Very mean. Because it could be me you are tormenting there...except I wouldn't be running down the corridor...I'd probably stop to discuss the merits of Gandalf or something.... [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

What I find hilarious is when people question me on LOTR trying to find out something I don't know...fools, the lot of them. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] They try me on Orlando Bloom, but I know lots about him too. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] And then they start on HP...and despite not being able to stand the films I get all those questions right too for some reason. I did a quiz in the Daily Telegraph once, and so did my bro- him being the HP fan. I got 100% (it was a very long quiz, btw), and he got 60 something %...that was so funny. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

EDIT: No intention to brag there, at all...I just realised how braggish it sounds...oops. I suppose my point is, that when you are in enemy territory, arm yourself with knowledge so they can't catch you out. Better a freak than a failure. [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

[ October 13, 2003: Message edited by: Elentári_O_Most_Mighty_1 ]

Most excellent idea. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] Luckily most of my friends like LotR...probably useful being the sudden urge I have to try out most of these ideas [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
My mum hates it, though. I've found that talking for lengthy times about its finer detail normally results in her agreeing enthusiastically and suddenly finding that she needs to go to the garage for some urgent *fill in gap whatever you do in the garage*

If any of you are British and have watched Big Brother, then you will know what I mean when I say my friend of the Lord of the Rings equivalent to Jade.

Just today she was going on about 'Shadowflax'. I decided not to correct her until she had been talking for a while. Then when she was looking at one of my maps she goes 'oh my god! I thought Rohan was a person!'

If anyone saw the Big Read last night, maybe we could beat the panelists! Did you hear that person , when discussing LotR, say, 'it's rubbish'? Hmmm...

[ October 19, 2003: Message edited by: Daisy Brambleburr ]

I really couldn't care less whether my friends dont like LOTR, thats their choice, and if they dont like it, they dont like it. Simple as that, but what we must remember is that they like something else, almost as much as we like LOTR so its pretty even...

[ October 21, 2003: Message edited by: Everdawn ]

I may have encounterd something worse than LOTR haters. My arch enemy is claiming to be a LOTR fan, but he's not really. He's just using it to get votes and try to win me over. He's using LOTR as a political tool! Isn't that evil? Saurman would be so proud of him...

Daisy, I'm British! I couldn't be bothered to watch those endless Big Brother things...but I can see what you mean!!!
And the panelists thing...grrr...that woman dissing it hadn't even read it! She said 'life is too short', or something along those lines...interesting actually, they were trying to stop rigging, but I have voted at least 11 times...online that is.
Hmm...using LOTR as a political tool...that sounds interesting. Perhaps we could use it to our advantage? Turn the tables? No idea how, it was just an idea...
Hey, I wasn't necessarily objecting to people having their own interests, I was objecting to their intolerance of ours!!! They diss us for being obssessed, so we fight back. Unless any of you are pacifists...(and I meant verbally primarily, not literally physically...)

[ October 24, 2003: Message edited by: Elentári_O_Most_Mighty_1 ]

[ October 24, 2003: Message edited by: Elentári_O_Most_Mighty_1 ]

How come so many good topics sink? Where have you all gone?????

I'm here! I havn't sunk! i was spending ten days with my internet-less grandmother though! Glad to know people think my topic is good! I am currently trying to persuade one of my LotR friends to aid me in tying a load of people to chairs and reading to them-But I cant find a rope quite long enough!!!! And my copy of the Silmarillion is bieng lugged everywhere....

Hmm, some hithlain would be good. Always is longer than it seems...most mysterious.
Ahhh, it appears I am much too kind. If they tell me to shut up, I do. No point in killing them completely, it is much better to let them stew slowly in their pool of contempt. Muahahahaha. (Okay, I have no idea if that made any sense at all...it just sounded good [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] )
You know what I really hate? It is when so-called friends (well a certain person who I have been lumped with) withers you with a scornful look as soon as you open your mouth...then proceeds to obsess over her obsessions for the reast of the day. I mean, what right has she to do that?????? Huh???????

[img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] Here are ten things to do with non-LotR fans:
10. Flush their HPs into the toilet
09. transport them to one of Morgoth's fortresses
08.Give em a good SMACK on the head with a hardbound Sil or anything
07. bombard the school with FRODO LIVES!! posters and HARRYPOTTER STINX!!!
06. Summon an Orc and let them be kissed by that orc
05.Insert Sils, LotR, or other tolkien works in their bags, lockers, and throats
04. tie them to a chair and let them watch the animated version
03. Scream the Elvish translation of "*****" at their backs
02. pay their teachers or proffesors to give them RECORDED LotR exams
01. Gather Saruman's orc army into their houses and let them do the rest
=im so [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] =

I thought it was amusing that Ray Mears (the survival expert) is the person promoting LotR in The Big Read. I'm not quite sure why.
I've never seen Big Brother, but have heard about Jade, though I don't know how much of that was exagerrated.
What irritates me is how it's mostly fantasy books that I've seen discriminated against - of those stating that LotR is 'rubbish' there also seem to be a large number saying similar things about Philip Pullman and Terry Pratchett etc. Yet I have not read a single article against another genre in general, such as romance or crime....

[ October 28, 2003: Message edited by: Vladivos the Rider ]

You know, the HP books are great. It's the films that stink. Awful accents, cringeworthy endings...

Yeah, that Big Read thing is SO ANNOYING!!!

Oooh, I was watching this cash in the attic program thing...yeah anyway...this copy of the Hobbit sold for £30. Can you believe that? It was a 13th edition!!!!!!!!

Maybe all us Aphadrim ought to wear badges, as a kind of united front all around the world. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

armbands, thats a good idea.

i think we need to leave them out all winter and bring them in when they agree to read LOTR

I'm getting a shirt with *Do the Wave for Boromir the Disco-King* written on it.

And I've got a necklace made of chainmaille from the movies...heh heh...being a Kiwi rocks [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Ooh yes, we should all get t-shirts like that...freak people out the world over. And anyway, I thought it was 'Wave Kings at Boromir the Disco Squid'?
Yeah, well, we can't all be Kiwis... [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

Well you know what I always say."If you can't beat 'em, convert 'em."And thats what I've been doing on my very lond and trying absence from the 'Downs.


This is my second official post since I got my internet back!!LONG LIVE THE 'DOWNS!!!!


Black, Green, and a Computer Screen,
Vuelve