LOTR murphy's laws
 

I was thinking of a few while surfing around here.

Note:A murphy's law is not neccesarily "what can go wrong WILL go wrong" all the time.

Tips for surviving in Middle Earth combat:

Never fight to protect someone (Boromir)

Never ride out first to scout

Never defend the outer wall

Always stay on the edges if you are on the wall

Never fight on the front lines

Your armor will give you no protectin whatsoever.

post your own! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Here is an anti-Murphy's Law:

• The Eagles will save you.

Never rely on a Steward - Denethor

Woman can fight in battles - Eowyn

It's a good idea to bring an umbrella to any major battle. (Helm's Deep)

if you have a shield, the one time you don't have it is the time you get shot.

gunpowder will always work, even if it's pouring outside.

the good guys are always outnumbered.

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

If you're Gondorian, your battle-leader is the guy with detailed and expensive armor but no helmet.

Rohirrim leaders somehow manage to remember their helmets. But Rohirrim don't use their shields when charging ranks of archers. Nobody knows why.

If you are one of the Haradrim, never volunteer to ride on top of a Mumak ... or march in front of one ... or be anywhere near one, for that matter.

~ Never travel with a small, shrunken, ex-Hobbit with alopecia, a pronounced split personality, and extreme possessiveness, for you are sure to get betrayed or get your finger bitten off.

~ Never listen to someone who looks like the Pillsbury Dough Boy with a toupee *coughcoughGrimacoughcough*

~ Never listen to your father (or uncle) once he starts looking like an albino dwarf who spent five years pickling in the Dead Marshes *coughcoughTheodredorEomercoughcough*

. . . but will still always somehow win. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Never stand on a bridge and watch a balrog fall. Move out of the way!

Always listen to Sam. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Rule #1: Legolas can kill anything, no matter how large or far away, provided he has his bow and arrow, a piece of rope, or an elven shield.

Rule #2: Aragorn can survive any event or kill anything, provided he has his sword. But don't shake hands with him unless you want to be cleaning blood out from under your fingernails for three weeks afterward.

Rule #3: Don't EVER try and outwit Samwise Gamgee in a muttered one-liner contest. Believe me, you'll lose.

Rule #4: The Nazgul are really not all that dangerous. Just stand still- they'll lose you if you don't move.

Go ahead - stab a Nazgul, it'll only sting for an hour and then you'll be right back in the fight.

Remember that Helm's Deep incident Legolas? Never buy arrows from the lowest bidder. Leave that to the army.

Don't get to close to the orcs - the ground might suddenly dissappear.

Try to avoid the Nazgul rollar coaster.

A word of advice Pippin, large heavy things falling large distances make loud noises when they reach their destination. Now the bad guys know where you are and worse, Gandalf's ****ed.

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 11:00 AM January 09, 2004: Message edited by: Carrûn ]

When travelling from Rivendell to Rauros, Legolas' misgivings, funny feelings and hunches will be correct EVERY time-- but no one will EVER listen to him. "Legolassandra."

Actually, the original Murphy's Laws pretty much have M-e covered as well.

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Everything takes longer than you think.

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value. *coughnarsilcough*

There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you and miss.

But we can always add some.

The closer you are to danger, the further you are from harm *winks*

If you think something is impossible, it will be done.

Standing on a high place when there are fell beasts flying around is not exactly the best option..

Never try to fight with large, black, flappy creatures who speak in shrieks that sound like fingernails being drawn across a blackboard.

The only way to avoid being seen by the Lighthouse of Mordor is either to hide behind a clump of dirt or do a drunken 'where-did-my-knees-go?' fall.

Regardless of how bad things look in a battle, the Eagles will show up to save the day.

No matter how much effort goes into making a film version of LotR, there will always be a group of Tolkien purists preparing to physically attack the director with hardback copies of HoME, chanting, "It's Just Not Canon. It's Just Not Canon. It's Just Not Canon. Ride now, ride to the studios! Death!"

The crazier one's plan of action is, the more it will be considered brilliant by one's peers, and the more likely it is to succeed.

Conversely, one should never follow conventional wisdom.