Comedy Scenes: can you picture these scenes in your head?!
 

This post is like 101 things LOTR charactors would never say, but this has to do with the actual events and not just the funny sayings...if you follow me. Example:

In the Prancing Pony:

Sam: That fellow has been doin nothin but stare at us since we've arrived

Frodo: *smooths back hair* Who can't keep their eyes off me?!

(It helps if you add the place where it took place, even if we LOTR geeks already know!) [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] Hope to hear from ya...

P.S, I have tons of them!

LOL! post more!
i can't think of any right now

Yeh...post more! I seriously can't think of any.....my imagination is shot.

post more... yeah

llllooooooooolllllllll [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
I don't have a very rich imagination now... but please post more like this...

Here's another one: At Amon Hen

Frodo sees the eye for the 3rd time and says: Been there done that!

(was that funny?)

(Imagine this: Pippin after drinking some of his pint, when Frodo is jerked bc to reality with him hearing Pippin.)

Pippin: Baggins? Sure I knows a Baggins! He's over there- Frodo Baggins! He's my second cousin on my motheer's side, once removed... He's single!
Men: *raise eyebrows and nod*
Frodo: *walks over and winks* Yes, I am...
________________

(Gandalf is fixing to fall off the bridge in Moria)
Gandalf: Run, you fools!
Pippin: *bursts into tears* That's the second time you've called me a fool in ten minutes!!!
Boromir: *grabs Pippin and runs* Oh, have some backbone, man!
_____________________

(Pippin just knocked the skeleton into the well)
Gandalf: Fool of a Took! throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!
Pippin: *shrugs, and jumps in, taking Gandalf's staff and hat with him*
Gandalf: No! Darnit, second staff I lost this movie!
Legolas: dang, he sure did make alot of nose before he went.
Merry: Pippin! Nooo!
_______________

*Boromir is dying, and Aragorn runs over to him. As in the movie, a supposedly dead orc raises his head. Aragorn nochalantly kicks the actor unconcious, while continueing with the scene*
_______________

(Frodo is leaning over the Mirror in Lorien. the Ring gets closer..... closer....)
Galadriel: Do not let the Ring touch the water!
Frodo: *Ring touches te water* *SHLOOP!*
Sam: where'd he go?!?! Frodo!!?!?
Sauron' evil voice thing: AHAHAHAAAHHAA!

Elrond (in the battle at mt. doom) *looks at sauron* and says: Now do you wear that helmet because of your bad looks? Cause I know this great makeup artist!

OR....

Sam (in the battle in moria) *looks at the cave troll* and thinks: Hmmm...I wonder if Elrond knows a makeup artist with YEARS of experiance.....

(funny?)

this is sort of from a different thread.

*Arwen is sitting at the table of the great feast* Elrond "will you pass the salt" Arwen "If you want it come and claim it!!"

well not very funny but that's what you get when you don't post. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Actually, I loved that one [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

HAHA! They're all excellant! Unfortunetly, I have no sense of humor and I don't want to make you suffer, so I will not join in! But I will read! They are very funny!

AUGH! YOU KILLED ME, GREEN RINGWRAITH! THOSE WERE HILARIOUS! MOOAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

At the Bridge of Khazad Dum:

Gandalf to Balrog:
YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
(drives staff into the ground, it breaks)
SH*T!

[ August 16, 2002: Message edited by: Ithiliel ]

(Bree)

Aragorn: Are you frightened?

Frodo: No.

Aragorn: Not nearly- wait. Did you say no? You were supposed to say yes, I had this whole speach planned out!!

Frodo: Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, I'm frightened.

Aragorn: NO. Nevermind! Just forget it, it's too late now!! (goes into a corner and cries)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Bridge of Khazad-dum)

Gandalf: YOU...SHALL NOT..PASS!!

Balrog: Actually, I didn't want to...I was wondering if you could please step off my whip.

Gandalf; Oh, sorry..

I'm no comedian, but I thought up some pretty crazy ones...

In Maggot's field
Sam: Mr. Frodo? Frodo? Frodo! (he finds Frodo) I thought I lost you.
Frodo: What do you mean?
Sam: It's just something Gandalf said.
Frodo: What did he say?
Sam: "Don't you lose him, Samwise Gamgee." And I don't mean to.
Frodo: Sam, we're still in the Shire! What could possibly happen?
(The huge Monty Python foot stomps on Frodo, making a huge farting noise.)
Sam: NOOOOOOO!!! [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

-----------
In Moria, towards the Bridge of Khazad-Dum, the party is climbing down the stairs and jumping over a gap. Boromir is ready to toss Gimli across.
Gimli: Nobody tosses a dwarf! ( He jumps across and is losing his balance on the edge. Legolas grabs him by the beard.)
Gimli: Not the beard! (The beard turns out to be fake and is ripped off of Gimli's chin. Gimli falls.)
Gimli: I said not the beeeeeeaaaard!
Legolas: (holding the fake beard) Oopsies. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

wow!! those are so funny!! here's my try:

*Arwen and Aragorn are standing on that little bridge-log thing looking into eachothers eyes and it's so romantical..(sigh)*
Aragorn: How YOU doin?? *copying Joey Tribioni off of friends*

sorry if it was kinda lame!

Haha, that wasn't lame, Gamgee!

(Lothlorien)

Gimli:I have the eyes of a hawk, and the ears of a fox.
(Fellowship suddenly surrounded by various stuffed animals thrust in their faces. Haldir saunters down, stroking a teddy bear)

Haldir: The Dwarf breathes so loud, I could've chucked this at him in the dark.

Aragorn:....Haldir o Lorien?
Haldir [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]sighs) Yes, yes, some moron thought it would be funny to use our bowstrings for a gigantic harp he's making...Really rather pathetic, isn't it?

Aragorn: ...So you're guarding the Golden Wood with fuzzy plush toys?

Haldir: (clutches teddy bear protectively)(in a menacing tone)Are you making fun of Snuggles?

Ok, that's why I don't try my hand at humor more often... [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

Lomelinde, that was hilarious!!
[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

Haha, hilarious! Especially the teddy bears and the "Are you frightened" ones. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] I'll try a couple.

Ringwraith: Bagginssssssssssss?
Gaffer: Uh, I don't think I should be tellin you 'bout no Bagginses, beggin your pardon. (ok, I can't talk like the Gaffer, I know.)
Ringwraith: McDonaldsssssssss?
Gaffer: Oh sure, there's one down the road. You can get Rings of Power with your Happy Meal now too.

At the Bridge of Khazad Dum.
"Nobody tosses a dwarf!"
As Gimli begins to take a small running leap, Legolas sticks out his foot. Gimli trips over it just before jumping.
Legolas looks to Aragorn and shrugs. "I never did like dwarves."

Ok, that's enough. I'll spare you any further attempts.

I'm laughing hysterically at the McDonalds one! That was good. I never did get the little toys though, I should have gone! [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Aragorn: We don't stop till nightfall.

Pippin: What about breakfast?

Aragorn: We already had it.

Pippin: One yes, but what about Elevenses.

Merry: I don't think he knows about those Pip.

Pippin: What about Luncheon and Afternoon Tea and (a space alien pops out of Pippin: belly)

Alien: Hello my baby! Hello my honey! Hello my ragtime gaaaal..

(Ok, so I got the idea from Spaceballs!)

----------------------------

Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?

Aragorn: You said you'd bind yourself to me, and forsake the immortality of your people.

Arwen: And to that I hold. (blah blah)
*looks at Aragorn meaningfully*

Aragorn: Mmm, that's nice. Can we hurry this up now, I have to meet a whole dozen more of ladies to discuss this. Apparantly you're not the only one who wants me, you'll have to wait in line.
-----

I know I got the words mixed up, it's late, me tired!

These are all good. My turn [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Marry: This my freinds, is a pint. (Put's a pint of beer on the table)

Pippin: Is that the best you can do? THIS my freinds is a TON! (Puts a 10 foot high = barral of beer on the table.)

Sam: *Hic* Take Me drunk, I'm Home (Famous line from the storys I read)

lol, that last one was good! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Hey!! These are great! I'll have to think of some....

[ August 21, 2002: Message edited by: Frodo_Baggins ]

ok this isn't good but its all i can think of right now. Its at the council of Elrond.

Legolas: This is no mere ranger. This is Aragorn son of Arathorn, to be the next king of Gondor. (can't quite remember what he says).

Boromir: Isealdors' heir? Gondor needs no king.

Aragorn: Sit down Legolas.

Legolas No!(grabs his chair and throws it somewhere) I will not sit down!

Boromir: Erm Legolas, that's the wrong line, you're actually supposed to sit down.

Legolas: Oh. Did I do it again? (Everyone nodds) You must understand the stress with all these girls loving me.

Everyone nodds again

[ August 21, 2002: Message edited by: Frodo_Baggins ]

*When the orc is about to kill Boromir with the third arrow*
Orc:Hey, wait a minute, your kinda cute, wanna go out? We can forget the whole thing that happened before.

Boromir:um.......sure sounds great!

*Aragorn jumps on the orc*

Boromir:Aragorn whats wrong with you? Thats my new "FRIEND"!

(Its not funny but o well I cant think of anything.) [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Barfy that was good, but also add that WHY Aragorn jumped on Boromir! He's the jealous type [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Oh oh, Frodo Baggins, I thought of something else! Sorry for stea- I mean borrowing your idea [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] Hope you don't mind!

Legolas: He is no mere ranger, this is Aragorn son of Arathorn, you owe him your illegiance (sp?)

Boromir: Aragorn? So this is Isildur's heir.

Legolas: And heir to the throne of Gondor.

Boromir: Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king.

Legolas: What'd you say!?

Aragorn: Oh no girl, no you didn't!! Mmmm, Legolas, I think he DID!

(Legolas throws a chair at Boromir)

Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

(Jerry Springer appears and stands there looking stupid, watching the fight and 'trying' to break it up)

That's all I can think of now.

Those are sooo funny! I thought of one, it's not that great, oh well. I stayed up till 2:30 last night and 12 the night before.

From The Hobbit:
Gollum: Teeth, Teeth, my Precioussss, but we only has six! (a tooth falls out, all rotten and decayed) But we only has five!
[img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] Bad, but I'm tired.

That was funny, Amanheruwen!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Thag you very butch!

Thought of another:

Bilbo: I should give the Ring to Frodo. (Walks up to Frodo and kneels on one knee like proposing) Will you marry me?

Here goes my luck at being funny (sorry if i kill anyone from boredom/stupidity...) And sorry for taking that whole Council of Elrond thing...it's just such a good idea!!!! *grin*

Legolas: He is no mere ranger, this is Aragorn son of Arathorn, you owe him your legiance (spe?)

Boromir: Aragorn? So this is Isildur's heir.

Legolas: And heir to the throne of Gondor.

Boromir: Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king.

Legolas(in girly voice): *staring at Aragorn, pointing at Boromir* They don't need a king *shakes head*

Aragorn(in same, ready to start cat-fight voice): He said they don't need a king

Legolas: He sure they don't need a king?

Aragorn: He said they don't need a king...

--2 hours later--

Aragorn: He said they don't need a king, girlfriend!

--Elven Mistress--
P.S. Sorry if that like killed anyone...I'm not the real funny type... [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

No that was funny! It could be like those Italian mafia kinda movies too, like:

Legolas: He said they don't need a king..

Aragorn: Did he just say they don't need a king?

Legolas: I think he did.

Aragorn: No, I don't think you heard it right. Hey Boromir! Did you just say they don't need a king?

Boromir: (confused) Um....yeah...

Aragorn: Did he just say they don't need a king??

Legolas: Oh, I think he did this time.

Aragorn: You sure bout that?

*and still 5 hours later*

Aragorn: You SURE that he said they don't need a king?!

((Some more take-offs))

Legolas: This is no mere Ranger. This is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, to be the next king of Gondor

Bormior: Aragorn? (OK, I admit it, I forgot what he says)

Legolas: You owe him your alegence

Bormior: Gondor needs no king

Legolas: [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]

Aragorn: Sit down Legolas

Legolas: Who Me?

Aragorn: yes, you

Legolas: OK *Sits down and his chair breaks* OOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHHH!!!! I THINK I GOT A SPLINTER! *Rubs tush*

Frodo: *Hideing minature saw* heheheh....

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Bormior: Gondor needs no King

Aragorn: Sit down Legolas

Legolas: What if I don't want to sit down?

Aragorn: What do you mean "What if I don't want to sir down" ?

Legolas: I mean I don't want to sit down!

Aragorn: You had better sit down!

Legolas: And what if I don't?

Aragorn: Then..*Thinks* SIT DOWN OR...ELSE!

Legolas: *Starts laughing his head off* OR ELSE!! BWAHAHAHAHA OOHH HOW ORIGNAL! BWAHAHAHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEEEE!!!!

Aragorn: *Jumps on Legolas and starts hitting him*

Legolas: *Still laughing, rolls on top of Aragorn, ready to sock him when a flash gose off*

All: *Looks towards Elrond*

Elrond: *Evil smirk* Either you both sit down or this *Waves a instant photo of Legolas on top of Aragorn* gose into the paper

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gimli: I WILL BE DEAD BEFORE I SEE THE RING IN THE HANDS OF AN ELF!

Legolas: AT LEAST WE'ER TALLER YOU SAWED OFF LITTLE RUNT!

Elrond: Thats not what you say, Leggs -_-'

Legolas: I know. But i have two reasons: A. That was really offencive B. You must understand the stress being put on Me by all these girls (Sorry for steali-- borrowing your line, Mr. Baggins )

This crappy scene is in the Shadow of the Past chapter, after Gandalf tells Frodo about the Ring:

Rustling sounds come from the bush under the window.

Gandalf: Get down.

Frodo: Um, okay. (ducks)

Gandalf walks towards the window and jabs the bush with his staff.

Sam: Ow!

Gandalf grabs Sam and pulls him through the window. Sam hits his head on the window sill.

Sam: OWWW!! Oh my God, my nose is bleeding!

Frodo: Tilt your head back!

Sam: That's not helping...

Gandalf: Sorry, Samwise. Here, let me have a look at that-

Sam: OW! Don't touch it! I think it's broken!

Gimli: I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!

Haldir: The dwarf breathe so loud we could've shot him in the dark!-Heck his breath even smells worse than crap!

Just imagine it...
All the Black Riders lying in the Mordor Community Hospital after their bout with the river.
Rider One: Kazooooo!
Rider Two: Bob! What the h**l is that??
Rider One: It's my kazoo. I got it off one of the hobbit.
Rider Three: Well knock it off before I hit you with a bedpan!
Rider One: Hmph...

Just imagine it...
The Fellowship sitting around the campfire, singing kumbayah.

Yup. That's all I have to say.

I want somebody to draw a picture of this one...
Orcs/Uruk-hai in big poofy dresses and high heels, doing the can-can.

I'll get to work on that drawing! lol, then I can e-mail it to you. When I'm done of course [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]