First of all, The Squatter of Amon Rûdh, I also like to express my appreciation of your comments. It is always very helpful to hear the comments of someone who is not so much involved in the project. Also since I am fare from being an expert in English poetry, I fell deeply under qualified to meddle with Tolkien’s poems. So the comments of some one more at home in this field are very much needed.
Posted by The Squatter of Amon Rûdh:
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I've had a chance to read through those poems and the alterations. Before I go through them I ought to say that although I appreciate what the group are trying to achieve, I really think that the poems should be excluded if they won't fit without amendment.
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That would mean to skip out all the content of the "The Lays of Beleriand". It might be that we have to do that, but I hesitate to agree completely with you. Nevertheless in view of the two particular poems under discussion it might be the solution. The much longer lays might be dealt with more freely, as we couldn't use them completely anyway.
Posted by The Squatter of Amon Rûdh:
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The Horns of Ylmir particularly relies on the juxtaposition of the soft, sweet Land of Willows and the hard, bitter shore for its main effect, and although changing the tense of the last stanza preserves this to some extent, it is still very much weakened and the symmetry of the work destroyed by the loss of the opening lines. In any case I found the sensation of a wild dream brought on by Ylmir's music to be much more powerful than the sense of actually being by the sea.
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Sad as it is, I strongly fell that you are right in this point. But I see a small chance to avoid that: What if we take the poem more like it is and assume that Tuor had such a sea vision during the stay of the fugitives in Nan Tathren? I will try that plot out at once:
§ 123 {Here they abode very long indeed, and Eärendil was a grown boy ere} [There, when spring set celandine in the meads {and they had held}, they made a sad {festival in memorial}feast in the memory of Gondolin and those that had perished, fair maidens, wives, and warriors and their king; but for Glorfindel the well-beloved many and sweet were the songs they sang. And there Tuor in song spoke to Eärendil his son of{ the coming of Ulmo aforetime,} the sea-vision in the midst of the land [that the]{The} voice of Ulmo's conches [reawakened in his]{drew the} heart{ of Tuor,}[.]
Insertion of the Horns of Ylmir FG-C-22
[With] that his sea-longing returned with a thirst the deeper for years of stifling{;}[, in his heart and in his son's. Wherefore] {and all that host} [the most part of the people] arose at his bidding, and {got them} [they {removed} journeyed] FG-C-23 down Sirion to the Sea.
This plot would make most of the emendations in the poem unnecessary. But the change in the storyline is risky and might not be worth the inclusion of the poem.
The inclusion of
The Lay of Eärendel we have already doubted our self. And I think that what Aiwendil put forward as an argument against it was the same as you felt put in other words. Equally in which position we put that poem, it is a repetition of the story told just before. So it has no value in view of the story. If we include it the reason can only be twofold: A dear need for details in the Story of Eärendil and our own appreciation of the poem. Both reason are valid in my opinion, and the first one is the stronger. So if we are to include it, it should stand in its right position at the beginning of the Eärendil chapter.
Respectfully
Findegil