[polices]

Heres my attempt:

Battle at Helmsdeep.
Before the battle. In the armery.
Viggo is putting on Fan-letter-resistent chain mail. He reaches for his restraing order and can't find it. Turning around he bumps heads with Orlando, and Orlando replies "I was wrong to give in." Viggo smiles, JohnRhyes comes in and puts on some chain mail which is about 2ft. too long. "What?" He asks. Then Orlando says "that is no Nazgirl scream." Running outside they see Craig (Haldir) march in with about 5,000 security guards. Viggo hugs him and Craig says "I came here because you need some help right?"
~5 hours later~
The powderpuffgirls charge forward throwing fan-letters follded into paper airplanes. The security gaurds retaliate by throwing tear gas and slugs. Then a cry comes up from the good side. "They have ladders!" The ladders lock onto the wall and fold out. All notice that there made of hair brushes duct-taped toghether. The nazgirls charge on to the batallments trampiling the security guards. Squosh. Then Orlando, John (Gimli), and Vigo charge at them waving restraining orders! Then three nazgirls place a pachage of self rising brownies near the water grate and add water. The brownies inflate to over 100 times there normal size and blow a hole in the wall. Forced to retreat they hide in the hornberg and plan there escape. Then Viggo looks out the window and sees Ian flapping his arms trying to get someones attention. Then theguywhoplaystheodred says "Have a picture of Christopher in his boxer shortrs. SOMEONE FIND A COPPIER!!!" Having made dozens of pictures they glue them all to posts and hand them out to everyone. "For death, and glory, and the yellowish-green rise of the sun!" Then they charge out scaring thousands of nazgirls with there pictures! Ian runs down the hill followed by the FBI. They beat all the nazgirls and go backto Edoras.