OR-
Bilbo: Spitting at anyone & everyone who calls him 'Dildo'.
Sauron: Writing elementary pursuasive peices to convince Frodo to give him the Ring.
Arwen: tallying up the # of times she's kissed Aragorn & shoving them under Eowyn's nose.
Elrond: Plotting against Arwen's human boyfriends. (he's knocked off 26 so far. He tried coming on to the 27th. Needless to say, his plan worked)
Legolas; Collecting drool from his fangirls. (Wow...8 gallons in ONE DAY...)
Eowyn: Writing love letters to other ladies' boyfriends.
Eomer: Apprehending the love letters on their way to Rivendell & laughing at them with Denethor & Theoden.
Sam: Flashing innocent by-standers. (ARRRGH!)
Gimli: Full time stripper.
__________________
"YOU!"
"Indeed."
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